Walk a mile

My Brand New Firpensmaggle

I've got a brand new gadget,
it's an amazing little thing.
It really is quite wondrous,
the fun this thing will bring.

It's called a firpensmaggle,
or so the box does say.
It's got whosits and, yes, whatsits
poking every which what way.

This doohicky is brand new,
this is the first one of its kind.
A brand new flangdoodled thingy,
the best new thingamajig you'll find.

I've put this whatchamacallit here,
right here in this room.
Just ignore it if it bangs or booms,
or if purple smoke does plume.

People will come from miles around
to see my firpensmaggle.
Folks will gawk and gaggle,
and their dogs' tails, they will waggle.

It'll be the coolest thing
and everyone will want one.
But there are no more, of more there's none,
there are no more, not two, not one.

You're welcome to come and see it,
it's a fabulous sight to see.
It's got bits and bobs plain everywhere,
and of odds and ends it has just three.

It will make you laugh and make you cry,
and make you beg for more.
It will capture your attention
as soon as you walk through the door.

It really is so marvellous,
this firpensmaggle thing,
wait 'till you hear it pop and burp
and fart and sing and ping.

It's pink and sparkles and purple,
the very best colour scheme.
Yes, sparkles is a colour,
and it smells just like ice cream.

It doesn't take up too much room,
I could almost put it in my pocket.
That would never work though,
for I don't have an electrical socket.

Yes, this firpensmaggle machine
is the best new thing there is.
There is no better doohickey,
no better doohickey than this.

I love my firpensmaggle, yes,
and it's all the rage and buzz.
I think I'd love it even better
if I knew just what it does!!


Free verse with ABCB rhyme scheme. Written 13 September 2015.