SYML - SYML

9 - Connor

I held her close, her moist body against mine, rocking us both as she slept. I nuzzled her sweet smelling hair and inhaled that baby scent. I'm not this guy. I'm not the father that is willing to hold her for her entire nap.

I thought I wasn't. I smiled against the top of her head.

Emily got pregnant with Jasmine four minutes after we said I do. It felt that way anyway. So things changed in a big hurry. No more clubbing, no more partying. I was ready for being a husband. Adding a baby made things a little complicated but we managed. A bigger apartment, and all the things necessary to care for this little human being.

I snuffled her hair again. She was overtired and was giving Emily a hard time. Emily is trying to get ready for Jasmine's first birthday party tomorrow, so I took her for a little walk and settled her for a nap. I smile as Emily peeked in the room. She smiled back in relief.

The baby lifted her head and blinked at me. "I love you, Daddy."

It choked me. She laid her head down and went back to sleep. Still, I murmured "I love you too"

I rocked and thought about my childhood. I clearly remember my father picking me up when I fell asleep on the living room floor, and carrying me to bed. Earlier that night I told him I didn't want a bedtime and was staying up all night. He chuckled. I smiled thinking about that. Remembering how I'd wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him as he carried me.

I think you don't appreciate your father until you become one. When this little creature cleaves your life and demands attention. The crying, the first steps...you want to wrap them up and keep them safe. It's hard to believe it's a year.

I smiled, nuzzled her hair again, and rocked. A year.

329 words

Lyrics ▼

[Verse 1]
She broke today
Her perfect little heart in my hand, she came undone
I hesitate
I'm waiting on my father to say, "I love you, son"

[Chorus]
It's coming in phases
And I'm ready for none
I knew it would change me
But I'm overcome
My father's son

[Verse 2]
Me and my heavy mind
I've been given far too much time, and it weighs a ton
My cover fire
Come lay down right here on my chest, my little one
Before I'm done

[Chorus]
It's coming in phases
And I'm ready for none
I knew it would change me
And the man I become
So I try to relate it
To where I came from
But it's coming in phases
And I'm overcome
My father's son

[Bridge]
My empty page
I will give you more than my name
I love you, son

[Chorus]
It's coming in phases
And I'm ready for none
I knew it would change me
And the man I become
So I try to contain it
And fighting it from
It's coming in phases
And I'm overcome
My father's son
My father's son