The Absence of Wavelength

Revisit Rosebuds Life?

In the bitter battle against myself to complete a book of poetry and losing, I am reminded why I make notes at the end of each blogged poem. As neurodivergent in an unidentifiable location on the spectrum, I know I suffer short term memory loss that can lead to permanent memory loss. I could look at a life of concussions as another excuse. As an example, a poem I'm working on to include in the anthology with it's updated notes gives me perspective (at this hour):

Uttering Our Rosebuds

If I stop walking to start thinking
all old feelings and musings might rush back,
and with a new twist.
Something else crystalizes as truth
to diminish a melting illusion.
Or,
is it delusion that freezes me here
toying with a shape-shifting puzzle
not faithfully marveled, in want to understand?
stung by the white lies of life, until left
uttering our rosebuds in deathbeds?


9.9.18
12.11.22 more cohesive and inclusive to include reader with edits
3.6.23 deeper look at poem ending to create imagery to support this otherwise unsupported summation. Original version stored on WDC. ‘white lies’ the new emphasis? Just before first ‘Or’ could add ‘simple enough’ as a two word sentence at end of illusion line.
I think the second verse juxtaposes the first and it’s about thinking too much and getting caught up in our own lies, not living life but asking why life.

Additional note, supporting introductory thoughts: In pursuit of publication, is the focus that these poems are offered as some awakening as neurodivergent, atypical, ADHD sufferer seeking truth and solace through the construction of these self-evident, or searching for the truth postulations coined as poetry? The only handout I seek is peace of mind. I could just stop writing altogether. Then, moments later, he lifts the pen-finger again.

Yeah, I'll consider and edit further, later?? I'll actually make time for that?

pen-finger?

if only these walls echoed true answers instead of my warping, distorting voices in return. Nah. Could work on that, too.