I’m fat and I want to eat.
I’m fat, and
I want to eat.
I want to eat and I’m so,
so, so, so,
so~oo fat.
How much time was that?
A trip around the dairy case.
Cheesecakes in aquarium
colorful as a coral reef
swimming, swimming, swimming,
swim around my head.
Salivary glands imagine taste them,
recreate memory. Remember:
‘have some cake’ ‘it’s your birthday’ ‘it’s their birthday’
‘it’s a wedding!’ ‘we’re having a baby!’
‘it’s a fundraiser’ ’it’s potluck at your church’
‘you like cake?’ ‘come for dessert’ ‘join our club’
‘we ate out’ ‘on the menu’ ‘let’s splurge’
‘he’s retiring, she’s leaving’ ‘our grand opening’
‘frozen, just thaw’ ‘decorate it, ice it, eat it’ ‘just because’
‘you poor kid’ ‘you’re alone’ ‘you have no love or friends’
‘cake’s your friend’.
I’m dizzy now, on the floor.
‘Hypoglycemic?’ ‘Why don’t you eat?’
‘You’re too skinny’ ‘need to fatten up’
Again? Worse than before?
Where is the floor?
I’m swimming on dry land.
A fish that sinks,
too fat. Still...want to eat.
Get that carrot away! I swear…
Carrot cake? Okay,
twist my arm. Ow!
Just another day. Hey! Cake!
35 lines of ever-lovin' (loosely) free verse
in Dystopian dessert hell!
2.25.23
4.14.23 edit
Review ▼
"Eat: Swim or Sink" is a poignant and evocative poem that delves into the complex relationship between desire, body image, and societal pressure. The brevity of the lines, combined with the repetition of "I'm fat and I want to eat," emphasizes the internal struggle the speaker faces. This repetitive structure mirrors the cyclical nature of cravings and societal expectations, allowing readers to feel the weight of the dilemma.
Stylistically, the poem employs a minimalist approach, using simple language and short lines. This choice enhances the raw and unfiltered nature of the emotions expressed. The use of ellipses and the elongated "so~oo fat" create a sense of lingering hesitation and self-doubt, effectively conveying the speaker's inner turmoil.
The theme of indulgence and temptation is vividly depicted through the metaphor of the cheesecakes in the dairy case resembling a "coral reef swimming." This imagery not only engages the reader's senses but also highlights the seductive allure of food. The poem's structure and choice of words create a sense of urgency and longing, making it easy for readers to empathize with the speaker's struggle.
The poem also serves as a social commentary on the pressures placed on individuals to conform to societal norms, particularly regarding body image and food. The constant stream of phrases like "it's a fundraiser," "join our club," and "you have no love or friends" reflects the relentless external influences that can exacerbate one's inner turmoil. It's a poignant portrayal of how societal expectations can contribute to the emotional turmoil experienced by many.
In terms of improvement, the poem could benefit from a stronger conclusion that ties together the themes and emotions explored. Perhaps the final lines could offer some reflection or resolution to provide closure to the reader. For example, the poem could conclude with the speaker finding a way to reconcile their desires and societal pressures.
In summary, "Eat: Swim or Sink" is a thought-provoking poem that skillfully delves into the internal struggle of desire, body image, and societal expectations. Its minimalist style, powerful imagery, and social commentary make it a compelling piece of writing that resonates with readers. Adding a more conclusive ending could further enhance the impact of the poem. |