Elle's fictional prose

No New Mail (ASR)

I looked around frantically. All these corridors and doorways – where did they lead? I couldn’t resist a quick glance at the time, and was shocked at how long it had already taken me. Oh dear, I was so late, so late. Oh dear, oh dear… I threw open one door after another, but didn’t recognise any of the rooms. Some were brightly lit, every golden surface shimmering. Others were dim. I sped down the hallway, then skidded abruptly to a halt on the smooth plastic floor as one of the doors I had passed opened. I looked back, wondering if I could ask the stranger for directions. I was tossed a dismissive glance, but decided to chance it anyway.

“I’m lost. Can you help me?”

“IP address?” I got the impression he was impatient and in a hurry, but dammit, so was I! I rattled off a series of numbers and was rewarded with rough directions.

I raced further and further, tracing my way through the maze. Each section of plastic floor, walls and ceiling with their luminescent glow looked the same. Oh dear, I was so late, so late. Oh dear, oh dear. I burst into a round room with numerous doors opening off it. I spun around, disorientated. He’d said the 13th door, but… Where did I start counting from? Left or right from the door I’d come through? Left or right? Oh dear, oh dear. Three doors burst open almost simultaneously, but before I’d had a chance to make a query, three more doors slammed closed and I was left by myself once more. Suddenly I realised that one of them was the door I’d come through. Now all the doors looked the same with their bright metallic surfaces. I spun around and around, panic building inside me. Finally, I grabbed the handle of the door nearest me and flung it open.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” came an angry bellow.

“Sorry,” I muttered, moving swiftly on to the next door.

I repeated the process again and again, until finally I saw the room I’d been looking for. I slipped in and let the door gently close behind me. The huge screen on the far side of the wall had just three words written in Arial font. No new mail. I cringed. Oh dear, oh dear. I was so late. Just then, my presence was sensed, and a loud gong reverberated through the room. The screen flashed. You have mail.


Written 6 September 2013