Alotta Monkey Business

Light-Bar Bumper (WC 402 Rated E)

P16. Complain about something in detail.

Complain about what? Should I complain about the weather? It was nice yesterday, the sun was shining, there was little to no breeze, and the temperature got up to forty degrees Fahrenheit. I took advantage of the out-of-season spring day by shoveling snow, scraping ice, and enjoying being outside. Of course, Max was outside with me enjoying the day and helping in a way only a Husky pup can help.

So today, it’s twenty degrees colder, windy, and the sky is littered with clouds. Every time I take Max out he wants to play and enjoy being outside, but I’m freezing my tush off. The wind, you know, goes right through my jacket, nips my fingers, and chills to the bone. But what’s to complain about, at least its twenty degrees above zero unlike a week ago when it was twenty below. Besides, it’s winter in Minnesota, what do you expect?

No, there’s got to be something other than the weather to complain about. Like those morons who do not know how to operate their high-beam headlights. Of course, they’re likely the same buffoons who can’t figure out turn signals. Mayhap the powers that be should incorporate some night driving into the standard driving test. On second thought, never mind, they would still pass and soon forget how to operate these devices.

The ones that really de-cream my coffee are the ones that ride within ten feet or less of my rear bumper, lights on high-beam, and no matter what speed I go, stay right there like they’re locked in a tractor-beam. They fly up behind at a fast rate of speed, then decelerate to match mine and just hang there. I drive a bit slower at night, about five miles per hour less than posted because there are a great many deer who have not figured out to cross at their designated, posted, Deer Crossing Area. So, since these people seem to be in a big hurry, I’ll be nice and slow down a bit more giving them the opportunity to zip around me and clear the road ahead. But they don’t pass, they just slow down and stay there. Why?

Would it be bad to mount one of those one-million candle-power light bars on my back bumper with a light-activated switch?

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