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A collection of stories about my family's trip to the movies going sour quite fast! |
It was January 3rd, 2023, and you are just waking up in your jail cell. You have been in this shit hole since New Year's. Yeah, you have spent New Years behind bars! AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THAT ASSHOLE ROSS AND THOSE GREEDY AS FUCK UTILITY COMPANIES! Today, you were going to stand before a judge to be put on bail and FINALLY GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS SHIT HOLE! After you see the judge and bail is set, you are promptly bailed out and you walk into the lobby to the sounds of your cheering family! You are then hugged on by your children and soon after, your girlfriend who is in tears! You then hug your mother as she wipe tears from her eyes! As you all leave the jailhouse, you decided to make a grand plan...TO GET VENGEANCE ON YOUR BROTHER FOR PUTTING YOU THROUGH THAT HELL! Unfortunately, you have received some rather grim news. On New Years, your uncle, who was in rural Mississippi at the time, was enjoying a fireworks display for New Year's. Unfortunately, he suffered from a heart attack and keeled over, dying in the process. Everyone at the show ran over and tried to help, but he unfortunately passed away that night. And that wasn't the only tragic thing. You found out that on New Year's, in order to get over the grief of you getting locked up, your family planned a vacation in Arkansas! They found an ad for a "Very Luxurious" New Year's Eve party that would put the ones in Las Vegas to shame! And not only that, but they got a "5 Star" accommodations from AirBNB! However, after a 6 hour drive, they came to the place and found out that it was...FAR from a "5 star" accommodation...in fact, it wouldn't even make a 1 star accommodation! The place was in shambles and it reeked of piss, booze, and farts! And that was just the beginning of their awful trip! They would go to a couple of places, such as a winery, where it looked nice at first, but the bottling process took literally HOURS to do! Then they went to tour the farms, but the barn houses stunk to high heavens! Then there was the nature hikes where all you do...is go on mountain and forest hikes! There is literally nothing in Arkansas! Then finally, the New Year's Eve party! WORST, ONE, EVER! The place looked like it was ran by a junkie! You literally had to pay for everything! The seats, tables, EVEN THE GREASY LOOKING FOOD! And they didn't have party hats or noise makers! And the bands they picked to play, SUCKED MAJOR ASS! And finally, when the clock struck 12...NOTHING HAPPENED! No countdowns, no cheers, NO FIREWORKS, NOTHING! You all got so furious that you flagged down the owner and oh boy, he was a royal asshole! He said, "Sorry folks no refunds! Besides, you got what you paid for, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT AND HIT THE TRAIL!" At that point, they were all kicked out of the party and out of the place they were renting and were forced to get on the road! They had to endure a 6 hour drive on little to no sleep! It was truly a miracle that they didn't have a wreck or got pulled over! Meanwhile, your asshole brother Ross went to an ALL EXPENSE PAID New Year's Eve party in Shreveport, where the only damn thing he paid for...was for a damn burger! THAT WAS IT! $20 compared to what? HUNDREDS THAT WAS SPENT ON THE PARTY?!? Oh, this shit made you so mad, that you wanted to get back at him RIGHT THEN AND THERE! But you didn't want to go back to that shit hole jail! So you have a better idea! You decided to accuse Ross's new roommate of TRYING TO MAIL A PIPE-BOMB TO YOUR HOUSE! You first started off by making a fake bomb out of cheap, plastic wires and cans, to make it look like a pipe-bomb HE SENT TO YOUR HOUSE! You and your girlfriend then made fake testimonies and posted them on Youtube for the whole world to see! Soon enough, your family gets word that Ross's new roommate was put in cuffs and was hauled off to jail! You all got ecstatic and celebrated for joy! However, this feeling of pure joy would not last long! Your sister would suddenly clench her chest and starts gasping as she falls to the ground! What started off as a great celebration quickly turned to disaster as you had to call an ambulance and had your sister picked up and hauled off to the hospital! You all then learned that she suffered from a heart attack...JUST LIKE YOUR UNCLE! However, she survived, but because of her critical condition, she will have to stay the night in the hospital! The next day, you speak with a doctor and found out that she is suffering from angina, a coronary disease usually caused by a build-up of fatty tissues in the coronary artery. You start to feel a little guilty because you were the one that enticed her into eating at McDonald's and Pizza Hut quite a bit! The doctor also suggested she starts hitting the gym if she wants to improve her condition. The doctor will also order an echocardiogram, to see if there are damages caused by the heart attack, if any. You left the office quite depressed and head to the room your sister is in. You would soon leave the hospital with your sister in tow. Your sister is fine now, but she is quite groggy from being up all night at the hospital and from the meds. After you drop her off at her place, your blood immediately begins to boil again, as you knew you HAD to get vengeance against your brother somehow! On January 7th, 2023, you finally found out that your brother is going to a horror movie with a group of friends! They are seeing some lame movie Called "M3GAN"! You were getting your camera equipment ready, and you were just about ready to go out to the movie theater, give that bastard the finishing blow and... You get interrupted by a phone call. It was your sister, the one that just left the hospital recently. She was calling you because she just signed up for a membership at "Anytime Fitness" and wanted you to go. You told her that you didn't feel comfy going to a gym, being a 450 lb man and all, and she said that she got you a membership too! You tell her again that you aren't interested and you are in the middle of something! Eventually, she guilts you into giving in and going to the gym with her! You couldn't fucking believe it, TALKED OUT OF GETTING VENGEANCE AGAINST YOUR BROTHER BY YOUR SISTER! You let out a deep sigh before you go to the gym with your sister... Thankfully, after your session with your sister, you looked at the clock and see that you still have enough time to go catch that bastard at the movies! You and your girlfriend would then proceed to drop the kids off at their grandparents' house before you head to the theater. After you arrive at the theater, you would rush over to the ticket stand to try to buy some tickets for the movie, but unfortunately, things still aren't working out for you... You couldn't believe that they would sell out of tickets again! It's as if people are fed up with being cooped up in their homes for years and are somehow buying their tickets in advance somehow! Instead of being mature about it and trying to buy a ticket for another time or movie, you and your girlfriend decided to show your asses to the ticket stand workers until security arrives and kicks you two out! As you get back into the SUV, both of your bloods continue to boil! You then decided to head to the mall where another movie theater is! Because you are so mad about this movie that you decided to not see "M3GAN", but instead see, "The Whale". You would get tickets for the movie and soon go inside, your blood still boiling from earlier! You and your girlfriend have been crying your eyeballs out for the past hour now! You didn't think such a movie could be so awful and sad! Regardless of the fact that you just saw a movie about the dangers of over eating and overall being a pig, you decided to hit up a place to be pigs at... After you two get done with several boxes, you would drive home and see something you didn't want to see in your driveway...a cop car! Apparently, the cop, who is, again, Ross's psychopathic friend's cousin, said that he is back out there due to a Welfare check and has so far only seen big piles of garbage in the house through the window! Your blood begins to boil again because HOW DARE THAT INDIAN COUPLE CALL IN ANOTHER WELFARE CHECK ON YOU DURING THESE TRYING TIMES?!? THIS IS CLEARLY AN ACT IN REVENGE SINCE YOU HAD THROWN ONE OF THEM BEHIND BARS! You talked with the cop for a bit and told him you would clean up the house. A couple of hours later, after the cop leaves, you and your girlfriend crack open the "white claw" beer, smoke up some weed, and begin to play some Fortnite to help ease your nerves after such a stressful day! On Sunday, January 8th, 2023, you and your girlfriend got up, bright and early, to start cleaning up the house again! After several hours, you would throw one last bag of garbage into the nearly full trash bin as your blood starts to boil again! WHY WOULD THIS INDIAN COUPLE HAVE SUCH A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU?!? WHY CAN'T THEY JUST MIND THEIR OWN DAMN BUSINESS?!? Sure, they may have seen pictures of your house and such on social media, BUT IT IS STILL NONE OF THEIR DAMN BUSINESS! You would pick up the kids and bring them home as you plan for a nice, long nap... Also on Sunday on January 8th, 2023, you and your family would come upon the worst news yet! Not only is Ross's new roommate out of jail, but the case has been dropped because of "lack of sufficient evidence!" At this point, you got so mad that you started to yell at the top of your lungs... |