The Whatever Files

The History of Humour: Part 3

BEING A MOST COMPLEATE HISTORIE OF HUMORE

PART THREE

THE RENAISSANCE

Inexplicably the Middle Ages didn't mature into the Old Ages, and instead we were fobbed off with the Renaissance. In practice this meant the re-emergence of centuries old jokes that had survived by way of Greece, Arabia and, for some reason, Budleigh Salterton.

"Mayhap Sirrah thou hast noticed that my dog has no nose."

"Yes I had noticed that, Was he born like that or wast it an accident?"

"Terrible"

Starting in Italy the Renaissance elevated humour to it's highest level, with Dante's Divine Comedy. The original of this bumper collection of jokes, has since been passed from comedian to comedian, often for silly prices. Past owners include Bob Hope, Robin Williams, Andy Kaufman, and somewhat confusingly 'The Mime With No Name'. It is currently believed to be in the hands of British comedian, Boris Johnson.

Copies of the Divine comedy have been available for years. It's detailed descriptions of boiling rivers of blood, and monster infested cess pits have been at the heart of planning for all Inland Revenue buildings, Driving Licence Bureaus and Community Centres worldwide.

It was also used as the inspiration for the popular 60's and 70's quiz show 'Sin to Win', memorably compared by the Dark Lord Toby. Family members were dangled on a rather flimsy crane device, over the infernal pit, with all it's many levels of despair, pain and ruin, and lowered down to try and pick up the carefully placed prizes. Snatching the top prize of a million dollars required the contestant to pluck a golden envelope from between Lucifer's claws.

Only one contestant ever made it down that far, with the vast majority being chomped by at least two of Cerberus' heads as they tried to nab a His n Her's set of Teasmades.

Audrey Sprenk gazed into the eyes of the dread Master of Hell, and then kicked him in the nose before grabbing the envelope and being hauled out by her cheering family. CBS refused to pay out, stating that kicking Lucifer had not been allowed under the rules. The case was later settled in a WWE lawyer special no holds barred grudge match.

The Whatever Contest is a far gentler affair, and Schnujo hardly ever chomps anyone's head off.