Lulu's Healing Journey

My First Entry

Note: I started this journal earlier in the month in what many people would now consider as old-fashioned, the paper journal and pen. I decided that I also wanted to share online. I was originally going to go with Blogger, but then I remembered that I had a Writing.com account and upgraded to Premium.

My First Entry

I have experienced pain throughout my life-57 years of it-from my childhood years until recently. Whether it is myself who gets hurt or a family member, I find myself focusing on the hurt and not focusing on God. I distance myself from Him, being angry with Him and blame Him for being hurt. I need to stop since I realize that God is in control. This hurt is only temporary since I have a new, perfect home where I will forget about all the hurt I have experienced in this temporary home.

Okay, before I continue, I will have to give a little back story to an awesome Bible Study that I am about to partake.

Back in early 2020 just before everything shut down due to COVID-19, I was doing a Bible Study with my Facebook group, Bible Cafe. The study was called Seeking Him by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemoth and Tim Grissom. This is an excellent study as well and, yes, I filled in another journal as I progressed through the study. I do like writing in actual journals.

Shortly before my job shut down, I noticed a coworker working on a different Bible Study. This sparked my interest and I wanted to invest my time into it. However, since I was already involved with the studies with the Bible Cafe, I knew if I started this study as well, I would get burned out. So I put this study on the back burner.

I continued with the studies with the Bible Cafe. However, my passion for the Word sizzled out. While I was laid off for almost four months I kept up with the daily and weekly lessons. When I got back to work, I started falling behind. I work the night shift and sometimes am too tired to sit down with the current book, the Bible and my journal. Even though during the study, we only meet one day a week for an hour for the Facebook group, their time table did not always coincide with mine For example, one day a week the group would meet at 9:00 pm. I would already be heading to work. There would also be days when I worked overtime, had doctor's appointments (well mostly when I had to take my husband to his appointments) or had other obligations. Then in late January 2021, our granddaughter was born. We watch her several days a week while our daughter and son-in-law work. I found I could no longer do the Bible studies since I had no time. I even forgot about the Bible Study my coworker was doing. Let's just say it was no longer on the back burner, but stored in a box in the attic.

Recently, in July of 2022, my husband was hurt by several so-called friends. I will not go into details because this is between him, several people and God. (I am respecting his privacy. I also may not go into details about my past hurts.

He has been hurting these past few months. He has been depressed, hardly leaving the house. When he is hurting, I am also hurting. I have been begging God. I have been cursing God. I have been ignoring God I need to change my attitude. I want that close relationship with God again.

Approximately two weeks ago, while driving to work, I was reminded of the study my coworker was doing. It is called The Healing Journey. I decided I needed to finally get it. (The website is www.hishealinglight.org if you are interested. There are also other studies on this site that I might try. While the study I ordered is for women, there is a similar version for men.
Cyndy Sherwood, who wrote this study, also wrote a book called My Healing Journey From Surviving to Thriving. I only just started reading this book, but she wrote about how she got into journaling. I decided to get back into keeping a journal. This nice journaling book has been sitting on my bookcase for almost two years. It is time to break it in.

I may not write in it everyday. However, eventually it will be filled. It may be filled with my thoughts or I might have an "aha" moment from the Bible Study itself.

This Bible Study is normally a 29 week program. But I am going to make it a self paced course. There are no local churches that are offering it. However,there are classes that are streamed. I may consider paying a little extra money to watch the DVDs through the site.