Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

Introducing My Friend, Mr Don.T. Farquithme

I've been having trouble with my neighbours...on both sides. On one side, some young people moved in around October 2021. They were all on welfare, had no need to go to sleep at a reasonable time and were often still playing loud music and having drunken parties (even during the week) until the wee hours, then sleeping most of the day. On the other side, they have two dogs which when left unattended, bark incessantly until someone gets home, which can be all day and sometimes all night.

We tolerated this because we are not the kind of people who complain, and, as I have discovered in the last few months, complaining does nothing to change their lack of care for our situation. Since I have stopped using meth, however, my tolerance for their bad behaviour and for the constant barking has dropped to dangerously low levels.

So, I called in the cavalry...a fellow who goes by the name of, Mr Don.T. Farquithme. He is not a nice guy (just ask my neighbours), but he does have a knack for creating change in those who I personally, had no hope of getting to see my point.

Mr Don.T. Farquithme suggested that we take the initiative and the fight up to those who have had it all their own way far too long. So, early one morning about a week ago, we started my lawnmower right next to the fence between the young folk and us. He also suggested we play some very loud and repetitive techno music with my expensive portable speaker, which we placed just near the back door on that side of our home, but not so far outside that they might jump the fence and 'acquire' my speaker as spoils of war. This action did not please the young folk, as they launched bleary-eyed complaints over the fence in our direction.

At this point, Mr Don.T.Farquithme went to the fence and said/yelled (because it was hard to hear anything with the racket), in his extremely assertive way, "How do you like it, hey!?" Several sets of bleary eyes answered the question by yelling back at us with unintelligible (because of the racket) words. And, even though our question was asked rhetorically, I think it may have been a little too early for them to comprehend this fact.

I figured we had made our point, and I instructed my bad-tempered friend to cease hostilities andI then offered a truce. I was told in no uncertain terms where I could stick my truce and after I explained to them that nothing goes in, only out from said place, they retired to (I assume) talk tactics or go back to bed.

However, since this day, there has been an uneasy ceasefire. This may have been as a result of the actions of my fellow antagonist's suggestions or maybe it was because a couple of the enemy combatants appear to have found employment, and so, are now living with more routine in their lives. In any case...mission accomplished.

So, aggression on the western front has fallen silent, but on the eastern front, the barking continued. Mr Don.T.Farquithme suggested another onslaught, but I made the decision (as Commander and Chief) to try to avoid going to war in favour of diplomacy. I typed a letter, using the skills learned here on WDC, pleading our case and begging for the barking dog issue to be addressed. Unfortunately, there was no response. They likely hoped that we would just go away, as had been the way for so long.

After the obligatory, "I told you so!" from my angry friend, my very loud portable speaker was placed in my garage and the roller door left open just a crack, so no thieves could steal it and yet, open enough so the recording of a dog barking I found on Spotify, left on repeat, would find its way to the desired target. After just one afternoon and evening of this onslaught, the dog situation has been resolved. I don't know where they have put the dogs...that is irrelevant to us as we sat down to dinner...and for dessert, a lovely piece of quiet.