Toadette's Story: Book 1

Chapter 9 - Diva in Distress

Here we were, both standing over a famous singer. If the princess was going to do what I thought she would, I was going to be so embarrassed. She lifted one of her legs.

“Final chance to say something.”

Not even a second passed before she slammed her foot into Pop Diva’s chest. At first, everything was silent. The calm before the storm, if you will. Then the screaming started. This screaming was so shrill, so high-pitched. It was like nails against a chalkboard.

Over all of this screaming, the princess yelled to me, “Put your foot in her mouth!”

“What!?”

“You heard me!”

Damn it, she was serious. Oh, this day was just going peachy. I pulled my right leg over Pop Diva’s face, gritting my teeth. How was I supposed to just shove my foot in her mouth like it was normal? And on top of that, wasn’t there an easier way to just get her to say something? Why not get the Toad Town police involved?

“Hey!”

My thoughts broke at Princess Daisy’s loud voice. One thing she was good at? Getting someone’s attention.

“Any day now! Jeez, I’m gettin’ wrinkles waiting on you.”

“G-Got it!”

I dangled my foot down to the singer’s face, keeping my focus on one of the walls. I didn’t even have to see my foot on her mouth to be grossed out. Her rubbery lips gave an unwelcome kiss to all my poor toes. But that was as far as they went. It didn’t matter what direction my foot came from. This woman’s mouth was like an impenetrable fortress. Occasionally I could slip a toe in just a little bit, but her teeth proved to be quite the annoyance.

Princess Daisy may not have been in my line of vision, but the anger coming from her was just intense. Like a wave of heat rushing over me.

My toes squirmed against Pop Diva’s lips, but nothing was happening. Getting desperate, I put my hands together and whispered to myself, “Just open…”

“KYAA!”

Before I knew it, I was flat on the floor. The princess either kicked me real good or her hand power was out of this world. Either case, my glasses flew straight off my face.

“Never mind, I’ll do this myself. Ugh, I blame myself for expecting more from a spore-head like you.”

My arms jittered, trying in vain to pull my body up.

“Just stay down there. I don’t need some useless pansy of a Toad screwing up my search.”

The princess went on to gag Pop Diva in the background while I was left on the floor trembling. I touched the side of my face, and my eyebrows lowered at the sight of my hand. Blood? Really? This was the great thanks I got for trying to help this lady out!? I didn’t even want to meet her in the first place, yet I still put forth the effort to try and assist.

My nails dug into my palms. Who would’ve guessed I’d reach such high levels of stress AGAIN working under royalty?

Oh, but the craziest part was yet to come. I started chuckling. Yes, chuckling. Thinking of all the wacky stuff I’d been through in these past three days, it was funny. Something out of a book of mad-libs, except this wasn’t just random words on a paper. My life was warping into one sick mad-lib.

As my chest puffed in and out, I flipped over on my back. The sight of Princess Daisy’s toes flying in and out of Pop Diva’s mouth would make any sane person want to gag. Hell, it’d make me want to gag under normal conditions. But seeing someone else in so much pain was so satisfying.

Hunched over, I rose to my feet. “M-Move…”

Did she not hear me? “Move.”

The princess continued to shout at the singer, still jamming her foot past her purple lips. My twisted smile flipped into a scowl real quick.

“Goddamn it, move!!”

As soon as I took that first step forward, that was it. I headbutted the princess off of Pop Diva and planted my left foot flat onto her stomach.

Her face was nothing short of confused, with some spit stained on her chin. Forget words. I forced my right foot right down her throat. And unlike the princess, I made sure to go as deep as possible. None of that back and forth garbage was gonna fly now.

With the top half of my foot submerged in Pop Diva’s moist mouth, I wiggled my toes all around. Her choking sounds were loud but fell on deaf ears compared to the internal laughing playing in my head. Finally, I had some control over my life!

I must’ve had her suck on my foot for a good minute before I plucked it out her mouth. My left foot still had yet to get its time to shine. Hmm, but having her lick both of my feet wouldn’t have been nearly as satisfying. Something else had to spice up this treatment. Ah, I got it.

My sole lowered onto her tiny nose, rubbing up and down. Whether my feet stunk or not, I didn’t know, nor did I care. The smell of feet was unpleasant regardless, so all that mattered was that Pop Diva was suffering. With all this blood pumping, I couldn’t even feel the tickling her nose would’ve normally done.

To my left, I heard Princess Daisy...clapping? I gave her a brief glance before going forward with rubbing my greasy foot up and down Pop Diva’s face.

“Yeah! That’s what I wanted to see!”

So this is how I had to get approval? Being an anger-fueled bitch?

The princess stepped on Pop Diva’s cap, inches or so away from my foot.

“It’s not so hard to be a good little Toad, you know. Just tell me who stole my stuff, and we can forget the whole thing happened.”

Pop Diva shook her head, saying, “Like I said, I’m not at liberty to—”

The princess kicked her cap like a ball, rolling her eyes. She must’ve had the same thoughts I had. How damn tight-lipped could one person be? I got that this wasn’t the best situation, but lady, you were being tortured.

I was ready to get a move on. But, before I moved my foot, the princess rested her foot slightly over mine.

“You gag her. I’ll suffocate her.”

My first instinct was to ignore the command. After just throwing me to the side like a piece of trash, Princess Daisy expected me to be cool? A tirade of words had been bubbling up, waiting for me to spit them out at her rude self.

That’s when my brain got a wake-up call. With my twisted and cruel behaviour, the princess was warming up to me. And if I could get in good fate with her, perhaps I could work my way up to getting on Her Highness’s good side. Of course, this sucked big time, but what else was a girl to do?

I curled my toes back and forth, preparing them to drive into Pop Diva’s mouth for another time. All the while, the princess put both of her feet over the top half of the Toad’s head. Pop Diva’s legs kicked out into the air as soon shoved my left foot inside of her.

As she sucked my toes, my intense rage was coming to an end. Watching her have my foot in her mouth began to make me feel sick instead of powerful. Nevertheless, I had to endure it if I wanted to leave this restaurant in one piece. With my sweaty foot in her mouth combined with the apparently awful smell of Princess Daisy’s feet scrunched around her nose, Pop Diva was in a total Hell.

“Alright, alright, let’s get off the girl. I can’t have her passing out now.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I jumped off the Toad, brushing my feet off with my hands. From the toes to the middle of the soles, Pop Diva had coated both my feet in a thick layer of saliva. You could bet there were a bunch of “Ew” sounds coming out my mouth.

While trying to clean my feet off, the princess said, “Interesting. So I gotta push you over the edge to get some results outta you.”

No, not at all. That’s a terrible way to get someone to do something. It was a good thing that I didn’t get really violent for both her sake and mine.

Princess Daisy picked the paper off the ground and held it before Pop Diva.

“This has been fun and all, but I didn’t plan on spending my whole day here. Just translate this gibberish, and they won’t have to know you ratted ‘em out.”

She glanced at me. “Or, we could completely destroy those pretty little vocal cords you got.”

Pop Diva nodded, gasping for fresh air. “Please, air...” Her once pale face had turned just as violet as her lips. If Princess Daisy’s feet smelt that bad, I didn’t dare to get on her side.

The princess picked one of her filthy socks off the floor. “You’re on my time. Just remember that.”

“In exchange for us giving you 640 coins, you will fake an accident in one of the Toad Town buildings on the north end. Buy us 30 minutes so that we can sneak through the city while the citizens are preoccupied. Make sure they’re kept AWAY from the southern and western sides of Toad Town.”

With a grin, Princess Daisy rubbed her slimy toes against Pop Diva’s red cheek, saying, “Good girl. Was that hard?”

West and south? Well, we at least had someplace to look. Maybe, that is.

“Oh, one more question before we go. Who gave you the order?”

“I don’t know. They were all covered in black. There were five of them, possibly more.” Then, two shoes hit Pop Diva in the face.

“Now, put my shoes on. Don’t forget the socks.”

Boy, every visit to Club 64 after today would be super awkward. I just felt it. By tomorrow, somebody was probably gonna put a big TOADETTE IS BANNED sign up.

Outside of the restaurant, the salty ocean water was busy killing the germs on my feet. How sick in the head did I have to be to rub them all over somebody? But I mean, being gross made the princess like me. Ugh, all of this was like a tornado going off in my head.

“Yo! You done or not?”

Between this princess and Her Highness, I couldn’t tell which one was worse. I dried my feet with a couple of napkins before happily putting them back in my shoes and socks.

Princess Daisy folded her arms. “Ya know, weak as you are, I think there’s still some use yet to be squeezed out that little body.”

“That makes me so happy...”

“Hey, you chose to work for Peach. Don’t blame me for your problems.”

Not a single bit of eye contact was made between the two of us. Really, this lady didn’t deserve it.

“Don’t think I’m the enemy here. We’re both actually more similar than you’d think.” She wiped the sweat off her forehead.

I chuckled. “See, now that’s funny.”

“Laugh it off if you want. I’m just tryin’ to form some bond here.” She turned around. “You’re the only Toad I’ve met who thinks for themselves.”

…I guess we were in agreement there. I didn’t talk to many others who dared to say something terrible about Her Highness.

“Having the courage to push me like you did, then let that girl choke on your foot without my command… I gotta respect that.”

The princess looked to the sky. “Sun’s telling me it’s about afternoon. I wanna hit up one more spot before calling it a day. You got an idea where these thieves could be?”

Only one building in that specific part of Toad Town was weird, but it couldn’t be that suspicious. It’d been abandoned for years. Nobody went in or out of that place. No, that left us one place to check out. This day was just getting better and better.

I pointed straight-right past Princess Daisy. “Looks like we’re going underground.”