Dissociated Thoughts

A Mother's Advice

When I was pregnant with my first child, my mom tried to help me with advice on how to stop the morning sickness and a multitude of other topics concerning what a pregnant woman has to endure. I didn't listen to her. I've always had to do things on my own, find things out for myself. Looking back on it, I probably should have taken her advice. I mean, I did with the second one - but only because I had learned the hard way on the first go-round. I was so sick while I was pregnant with my first girl. I also had problems during the pregnancy that had forced me to take a break from working for the last couple of months of my term. One of the many suggestions my mom had given me was to take it easy, and of course I didn't. So I was forced to do so there at the end and my mom held back from telling me, "I told you so." My baby girl came out perfect even though I hadn't taken care of myself. Momma warned me about post-partum depression. I waved it off. How could I become depressed when I had such a perfect, beautiful baby? But I did. It hit me hard and all I wanted was for my life to end. I knew my parents would take excellent care of my girl. I mean, hey, they raised me and I was alright. When, with the help of medications, I came back to myself, I relied on my mom for advice. All those things I didn't want to listen to while I was growing up, anything I was unsure of when it came to the baby - I called her. I still call her when I need someone's advice on something. Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her as "my bitchy mom" and started seeing her as my friend as well as my mom.
Now, the time has come that my baby girl is grown and expecting a baby of her own. And like me, that headstrong girl who wouldn't listen to anything I said while she was growing up has begun to seek my advice. Will she ever see me as a friend? That's for her to decide. It's enough for me right now to know that she values my opinions and experiences and seeks my advice instead of running from it.