A Tribute to Life in Washington D.C.

Senior Moments

December 24, 2021- Heritage Hunt VA

I was nine miles into a fifteen-mile ride when the trouble began. An overdressed, fully made-up senior, Betty, started making the rounds in the Heritage Hunt gym. With no appreciation for social distancing and covid abatement, she approached my stationary bike. “Can you hear me,” she bellowed? She was put off by the buds in my ears. While sweating profusely, and huffing I politely pointed at my ears as if to say, I cannot hear you- please go away. She was relentless, shouting louder “I’m sorry, can you hear me?”

I removed the ear buds and gave her that look you use when someone runs over your heel with a shopping cart. “Do you own a white Subaru?, she asked”

“No, why," with disdain.?

“There’s a white Subaru in the parking lot with the door open,” she said. Who gives a shit, I think?

She moved on to the next person, this time she interrupted someone on the rowing machine. “Do you own a white Subaru?”

Unfazed by the non-verbal condemnation and glares, she pressed on. One by one, Betty questioned the three stationary joggers. Because of covid precautions, only every other treadmill was operational. This pandemic safeguard enabled Betty to stand on the non-running treadmill platform looking each jogger in the eyes. “Do you own a white Subaru?” After interrupting every single person in the gym, Betty left to take the matter up with the Association.

She did eventually return to the gym, satisfied that the matter of the white Subaru was resolved. Betty began her walk on the treadmill. With my ride complete, I had a few questions for Betty. I stood on the treadmill adjacent to her and said, “I’m sorry, can you hear me?” Betty continued walking while staring at me.

“I’m wondering, do you think it is hot in here? It feels hot to me. Do you feel it? Are you hot? Do you want me to open a couple windows? What do you think? Is there someone we can call," I pressed?

Finally relenting, Betty paused her workout to give me the undivided attention I sarcastically sought. She explained that it is often hot in here and she’d take it up with Association management during the next community meeting. Betty was not even phased by my futile attempt to annoy and mock her, because it is was seniors do.