Dissociated Thoughts

What a Life

It's been a while. I figured I'd make myself take a moment to write in my blog before the year's end though. Things have been crazy for me here. The holiday season always does it to me though. This year, I had a big decline in my emotional well-being. Depression is a hard one to fight your way out of, and it's made worse when it is couples with a "don't care" attitude about life or trying to get out of the slump. Luckily, I have people who love me and refuse to give up on me - and a wonderful shrink who knows the signs and made sure I was on the right meds to get back to being "Me". That being said, even the miracle of modern medication takes time to work. I'm slowly getting back to being myself.
My battle with trying to get disability continues, and although the pain is always there, I had to find myself a job in order to make ends meet - that's taking much of my time right now. Perhaps once the holidays are over, I won't be working as many hours - who knows. Everything going on all at once doesn't really help my mental recovery though.
I was blessed to get to see my daughters at Christmas. That brightened my mood for a couple of days - then life went back to normal as they headed off to their homes far away from mine. But, at least I was able to visit with them. My husband shaved his face for the first time in twenty one years because his mom said all she wanted for Christmas was to see him clean shaven. I'm still having a hard time trying to get used to him without all his fur. I suppose there has been humor even during my dark times, if only I would look for it. For now, I must keep telling myself things could be worse. Life moves on whether I'm ready for it to or not so I must remember to look for the good things so I don't become swallowed by the bad... Maybe the year 2022 will be better.