Team Ahimsa Blog Relay, Various Contests

Ruined by praise - #30DBC

PROMPT November 7th

Today's prompt is taken from a book I own. "Great Quotes From Great Leaders", published by Motorola, my employer.
This one is from Norman Vincent Peale.
"The trouble with most of us, is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism."
Do you feel this is a valid statement?
Tell us why you feel the way you do.

My mother's youngest brother committed suicide at the age of nineteen. It was his second or third attempt, and he desperately wanted to succeed, and die. (My father accompanied him in the ambulance and heard the last mutterings of 'want to die now'.)

His parents, my maternal grandparents, were known as the 'perfect couple' in our community. So perfect that they could not have a youngest son who was (perhaps, not definitely) gay. Their perfection drove their child to suicide. They merely pretended it had been an accident and moved on. Except that my grandpa never could move on. He pulled on for another twenty-five years, but once asked my Mom if he could've been a better father to his son. He finally lost his mind and succumbed to Parkinson's. My grandma died within the year. The perfect couple ...?

I was four when my uncle died. Nobody told me he had died. We were the perfect family, and people don't die young in perfect families, especially not of suicide. I searched for my uncle in his room at my grandpa's house every time I visited, for three years after that. Remember, I was four when he died. I searched for him for three years. That was almost half my life at the time. I was seven when I cornered my Mom and yelled, "WHERE IS HE" and she quietly replied, "He died a few years ago." I felt so betrayed. I would never be able to trust an adult, ever again.

The perfect couple. The perfect family. Very praiseworthy, indeed.



PS - Yes, it's all true.

Thanks Kåre เลียม Enga for