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It was a few months ago when I learned that there are people in this world that do not have an inner monologue and it’s baffling to me. Not only do I have an inner monologue but I also have a soundtrack. Often situations will arise and I automatically think of a song that suits it. But not on purpose, the thing happens, the song starts playing.
The one time a friend of mine was looking for my then husband and approached me and and asked where they went and I didn’t know they were supposed to wait for him. When he was super bummed that he got left behind, I actually sang to him: “I got no friends, no friends at all. People never call me and it’s all my fault.” (Pepper, Face Plant)He stomped away like, “I got friends.” I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. It just came to me.
Another time when an ex showed up drunk on my porch and after talking to him for a while and realizing that he was just there because he was drunk, I told him to go home. He asked for a ride and I was like, “no, you can walk your ass home like you walked over here.” Then he asked if he could just sleep on the couch and I slammed the door shut. “I slammed the door right in your face, how’s it feel? How’s it taste?” (Pepper, Your Way). I love me some Pepper.
Songs literally speak to me sometimes. I feel them through my whole body. The Mountains Win Again, Blues Traveler has literally owned me. The time I saw Incubus, a band that has ignited my soul and directed my life a time or two, a group of friends was waiting for the show to start and they were guessing what song they’d play first and all I kept thinking was: “should I throw my guess out there?” Sure enough, Megalomaniac was my guess and it was the opening song...I felt that s***. Also, the encore We Are All Tomorrow’s Food and Brandon Boyd is just standing there, absorbing the energy and nodding, like, “yeah, they get it.” Well, Brandon, I did.
But it just recently occurred to me: is it not normal for someone to constantly have music playing in their head? If there are actual humans out there in the world that have no inner monologue then surely there’s people out there that don’t have a soundtrack.