The Trials of Chris-chan!

Prologue: The Beginning...

It has been weeks since your imprisonment. You are still in shock that you are still locked up in here and continue to pray to the Gods for your speedy release...

You spend each night sleeping and letting your soul flee to C-197 and communicating with your imaginary husbands and wives. Each time you reach them, they try with all of their might to break the barrier around the jail house you are held in, but it is no use. The Reality limits and shit is preventing them from even making a scratch. Before anyone could make a dent on the barrier, you are once again woken up by a Jerkop to come to the Cafeteria for breakfast.

As you eat your food, you sigh as the food isn't exactly up to par for a meal made for a Goddess. As you eat, you fondly think back to the days where you were with your Mom and Dad and you would eat at restaurants such as the Golden Corral and Country Cookin' Buffet. Unfortunately, the Golden Corral got closed down and was briefly turned into a lame Chinese restaurant before it got burned to the ground. As for the Country Cookin' Buffet, you have no idea why it closed down, but you think Mary Lee Walsh and her evil army may have shut it down just to spite you and your Mom. You also blame her for banning your girlfriend search on college campus, preventing you from getting a girlfriend, and forcing you to do the deed with your mother...

Out in the jail-yard, you preach to the masses about the Dimensional Merge and how they should all get ready because it could happen at any moment. Of course, the other prisoners would look at you like you are weird or something before busting out laughing and walking off. Sometimes, some of the prisoners fling insults at you such as "Nut job" and "Schitzo." At these moments, you would get so mad that you wish you could summon up a tangible lightning bolt and smite everyone in the whole jail house!

One afternoon, you sneak into the library and got on a computer. You then wonder on over to Twitter and see video clips of people having fun at a convention called "Everfree Northwest." You were planning on going to this event, but then the Dang, Dirty Trolls interfered, stole your GoFundMe money, and threw you in jail. Now, as you watch these video clips, streams of tears roll down your face as you wish you could go there and not be in this place full of these Goddamn losers! You have at times tried to talk to Sonichu and tried to swap bodies with him so you can go to the Convention in C-197, but he refused, mostly because he isn't comfortable being in a human prison.

One night, after you got into it with the Warden again because you wanted them to install Netflix in your jail cell, you get dragged out of his office, with the Warden laughing his ass off at you as you try to launch a "Curse-ye-ha-me-ha" at him as you are dragged away. You try to yell out and demand Netflix again, but you get whacked in the face by a black stick of sorts before you are thrown into your jail cell...

You hope the next time you see Judge Miyamoto-San, you can talk him into letting you go free...