Complex Numbers

Naturally

PROMPT May 8th

Write about your favorite outdoor activities to do in the summer. Are there any activities you haven’t done that you want to try?

Well, my only favorite outdoor activity in the summer is: rushing from an air-conditioned car into an air-conditioned bar; if the accursed daystar is burning, add "while shading myself as much as possible."

This is related to my only favorite outdoor activity in the winter, which is rushing from a heated car into a heated bar.

I do not like the outdoors.

Still, given a choice between being too hot and too cold, I will pick too hot every damn time, so if I'm going to do anything outside, it'll be in the summer. Of course, one is never given such a choice; either it's winter and too cold, summer and too hot, or a week or so in between when it's actually pleasant to be outside for five minutes when it's not raining.

Which is not to say that I never do anything outside. I just don't enjoy it as much as anything I can do inside.

Nor is there anything that interests me to try. Just as I have no intention whatsoever to ski in the winter, I don't want to windsurf, bungee jump, or zipline, none of which I've ever tried. People be like "aw, is little baby scared?" No. I just hate doing stuff outside; fuck off.

I want no long (or even short) walks on the beach, no hikes in the mountains, no swimming in the ocean. The closest I want to get to nature is enjoying the natural result of yeast feeding on sugars, and while I have no objection to doing so on a patio, there will be air conditioning close by.

No, I'm of the firm opinion that we evolved to build shelters for a reason, and that reason is that so we could use them. Don't get me wrong; I love nature. I'm a big fan of watching webcams of natural areas. Here's one of my favorites: The Brooks Falls Bear Cam   from Katmai National Park, in Alaska.

You're welcome.