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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
I responded to n.lea  You write: "The ocean and the beach have always been a place of calm amidst the chaos if my life growing up. The lulling sound of waves crashing and lapping at the shore in it's irregular regularity, like the time in music was a grounding me." << This phrase already uses poetic devices. It can be used to create another poem... or as an intro to a chapbook of poems on this theme. Write a poem every day for a month or every week for a year and you will soon have enough for a small tome.Thank-you for responding. I rarely do regular reviews because they end up sounding too harsh and I don't want to poison other readers by my low ratings. Also, some things I know little about (like writing a novel... don't ask about NaNoWriMo... I'm struggling.) But poetry... too many years listening to my Muse... [edited below] 1. Concrete is better than abstract in my opinion (imo). Specific concrete nouns like maple/elm/oak are better than tree (unless you are Joyce Kilmer) and Burns may be able to get away with "a rose is a rose is a rose" but we can't. (I know I've written about the very fragrant lavender rose "Angel Face" ... somewhere. And roses have thorns, stems, leaves, hips and are used as hedge rows, potpourri, perfume, jelly) 2. Senses ...especially if it's an unexpected one. In Japan "sakura" is the iconic cherry, "hanami" is the season. But both usually refer to the beauty of blossoms not the taste of plum wine, deer drunk on rotting fruit, the flies that gather, the sound of a ripe or unripe plum hitting/splatting the ground, the smell/taste of cherry juice, the texture of the bark. A surprise is good. 3. Anglo-saxon words tend to be short; Latin words are long. This effects the rhythm and rhyme as well as its poetic impact (and age group written for), better short and transparent imo unless it's poetic philosophy. And it's better not to write in legalese unless that's the intended audience. Rare is the essay that waxes poetic! Legal brief? Nevuh. 4. One can show or tell. Showing and evoking emotion is used a lot in Eastern forms. But... "rage rage against the dying of the light!" In telling his father to fight off Death, Dylan Thomas taps into the human angst over dying; but, it's still evokes our own emotions. HOWEVER, writing a poem and then adding lines to tell the reader what they are supposed to get from it is great in marketing but unacceptable in poetry. Author 'self-critiques' or 'didactic lesson plans' should be kept separate. Many poems end before they end. 'Wrapping it up' is an echo of a homework assignment. 5. Language... repetition like rhythm and rhyme even line/refrain; assonance, consonance, alliteration... all important. Weak words such as 'the' may occasionally help with rhythm if there is no other option but in general take them out. Same with 'is'. 'Is' is just an equal sign and adds nothing; active verbs are important. Adjectives and adverbs? Subordinate clauses? Unless they add 'something' they can be limited or dispensed with. Syntax? Don't torture to rhyme. There are better options. Like free verse where any rhymes don't come at the end of lines. Very freeing. 6. Truth. The only truth that matters is the internal truth of the poem. A poet isn't a lawyer. The house is/was 'green'? Maybe true; but you need something more specific or with a different cadence or more syllables or needto evoke a certain emotion? Try 'chartreuse', 'hunter', 'aquamarine' ... or even 'ultramarine with a blush of maroon'. It doesn't usually matter what it is in real life. The poem has it's own inner reality. Well, enough yadayadayada ... |
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