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A third journal of personal musings |
| We all know the mood-ring fad of the 70’s only predicted body temperature and not necessarily mood, but what if people could actually see your emotions, like an aura of color surrounding you. Would you try to mask it, display it proudly, or something in between? Well, I'd probably say in real life that I'm a something in between. I have RBF, which just makes people presume that I'm upset, so I try to offset it by being smiley and shit a lot. Which is okay, but man do I just want to just have my face. Which is probably the one plus about having to wear masks at work. I don't have to smile and no one asks if I'm okay or if something happened or am I upset. Saying that, sometimes my face reacts when I deal with idiots. Like it just kinda happens before I can adjust and keep face. A lot of times also, I just let people think my RBF means something other than it being my face. So, yknow, whatever. hahaha If I had the actual abilities though, I'd probably try to mask it. I like keeping my feelings close to the chest, which I mostly have control over in general. Except when I get upset or really annoyed, which is when my facial reactions with idiots usually happens.  I am very much like my mother, who by the way, one of the sweetest and most caring women ever, but other than being loving and sweet, she didn't really show off how she felt if something bothered her. We were incredibly close and could talk about things, but even then, she kept a lot of things from me and I can't really blame her, considering. If she had half the anxiety I feel most of the time, I really don't blame her. But like I said, I'm like her and it's hard for me to be emotional in general or talk about things that give me my anxiety. Mostly I feel like people wouldn't care if I tried to talk about it, but that's a whole nother blog entry for another day. I wish I wanted to display it proudly, just because I wish I was more like my dad who did NOT give a single fuck, but I'm not and it would bother me too much that people knew how I felt. Instead, just giving me a magical emotional shield or just the ability to create facial masks of someone who doesn't have RBF when their face is at ease and there ya go. So if anyone has one of those, my birthday is in September! |
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