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 |   Reflections and ruminations from a modern day Alice - Life is Wonderland |
 30 Day Blogging Challenge PROMPT November 20th Do you remember your first friend? Under what circumstances did you become friends? Are you still in contact with them or any of your other childhood friends? It was the first day of kindergarten. We were the only two girls at the bus stop at the end of our rural town road. We eyed each other with interest, each of us too shy to say anything on the twenty-two minute bus ride to Fair Oaks Elementary. It wasn't until we found ourselves making the same puzzle, and ultimately fighting over putting in the last piece, before we actually interacted. The argument erupted, drawing the teacher and sending up both to our corners to "cool off". We glared at each other until the glaring gave way to giggles. Someone in the aftermath of a fight, in the space of ten minutes, we had each found our forever friend. From kindergarten through 6th grade, S and I were in separable. We lived less than a mile from each other and took full advantage of that proximity. Our lives were filled with sleepovers, and hours lost to the worlds we created in the woods or her basement or in blanket forts in the living room. We fell in love with Duran Duran together and perfected all our best roller skating moves in tandem. I remember this wonderful time of having my own bestie and building all the memories of our childhood side-by-side. I also remember the other things, the times she'd seem afraid or break into heart-wrenching sobs or beg me to stay longer with her or to stay another night at my house. I never knew how to help her, only how to be there for her. Always. We were children, we did not know how to talk of such things back then. It would not be until later that I would learn of her life, of the abuse she suffered from her father and how my home and being with me had been a sanctuary for her in so many ways. My family moved away after the 6th grade. I remember it didn't feel like an ending for me, she still came over and stayed. She was still a feature at my birthday parties. Life was moving faster though, and by the time high school rolled around, we had other friends and fell out of touch. I learned later that this was when her life at home began changing as well. Her mother left her father and she and S had begun a new life. I went off to college and the chasm widened. We had our memories though, each of us, and we held onto them, treasured who we had been for each other. By the time I bumped into S in a Blockbuster store, we were both in our early twenties. She tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around, immediately transported back through decades by the same sweet face I had so loved. We hugged and cried, and the years fell away. I can't say we picked up where we left off, because we had each been through so many transformations since we met all those years ago. But some people are linked to you by your soul, and S is my soul sister. She has been through unimaginable hardship and has come out on the other side. Over the decades since, I have learned the truth about all she endured and though my heart aches and breaks for her sometimes, I am so proud of the woman, the wife, the mother she is. She has built a life of love and light from darkness and pain. S is the strongest person I have ever known. S is also the most selfless. She is the first to celebrate my successes and the first to call or text when she knows I am struggling. She is always on my side, unquestionably, and ready to back me up. She finds all the ways to remind me that I am stronger than I think and she is always there if I need her. In turn, I am always ready to listen when she needs me, and when she needs to be reminded about how far she has come and how proud of all her achievements and victories she should be. I am incredibly blessed my soul connected with hers all those years ago. When I moved two years ago, it was the the next town over from hers. She was the first friend to visit and she rushed through the door, excited to tell me that "she had timed it" and we lived "exactly six minutes" apart. It was the closest we've lived to each other since our days growing up on that country road. We were silly and ecstatic, sending selfies to her Mom from my new kitchen. We try, despite the demands of our busy lives, to get together once or twice a month to catch up. She has to squeeze time in between the demands of chauffeuring around teenagers and I have to juggle weeknight piano and horse riding lessons. We manage it because it is important to us. Sitting for an hour, sharing dessert and coffee, catching up on our lives is often the very best part of both our week's. Time connecting with your oldest, dearest friend is like a balm on all the rough places in your soul. I am incredibly blessed to have her in my life. |
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