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 |   My fourth blog. Amazing yet disconcerting. Don't worry; this'll go away in a year or so. |
  Final Blogapocalypses.What's up y'all? This is it...the final entry of February. Everything's on the line. Before I find my pocket I wanna say a few words though. I have to thank everyone who got involved with Brother Nature  's Unofficial Elimination-Style Fundraiser Challenge. You know how I know it's been a great month? My tablet's predictive text thingy automatically suggests all the words to "Unofficial Elimination-Style Fundraiser Challenge" as soon as I type in Joel's handle  .But seriously...thank you to all the bloggers who came out in February. I know it was a difficult month at times and things got chaotic fast, but I appreciate all of those who stuck with Joel throughout. Especially the newbies who've never experienced something like this...I've been a member of WDC for almost 14 years, and I've never seen anything quite like what Joel put on (and before anyone goes there, no, even though the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  is technically run by me, I had no prior knowledge of anything Joel had planned for this activity...everything came to as much of a surprise to me as it did to you). You guys all came to play, and you competed your hearts out...it's been great getting to know you all and becoming reacquainted with some old friends as well. Some of you have even signed up for the Official March round, and that's wonderful.I also have to thank the outside donors...those who weren't active participants but are familiar with the 30DBC, or maybe read about our efforts through one of our entries. I can't describe the feeling you get when you see an unfamiliar name come up in your email inbox along with a donation...it means you guys have all made a difference to someone (or someones) along the way, and you should all be proud. Finally, I have to thank the man himself, Brother Nature . Joel took this upon himself to make February a fundraising month. It took a lot of effort to make it work...it's a learning process, and there were some hiccups along the way, but Joel handled everything incredibly well. I know he took some shit here and there, and there was some confusion at times, but here we are, the last day of the month, and we're still wondering what the hell is going on together, waiting and writing and wondering who's gonna win this thing.Most importantly, I haven't done the final math yet, but we've raised over one million gift points for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , and I can't thank you guys enough. I'm truly touched by the outpouring of support from not only the bloggers involved, but the community members as well. We'll be able to keep the Official Rounds running for the at least the rest of the year (if I've figured the numbers right in my head), which means all I have to worry about is getting the prompts out on time and judging entries in a timely manner (again, sorry about announcing January's winners so late). You guys are fantastic...the finest example of the WDC community spirit. Thank you all so very much.Now...onward to today's prompt, which is an image prompt sorta like the Jeopardy "Daily Double". ** Image ID #2032498 Unavailable ** "Write about the little girl centered in the photo." I know it's hard to see because the photo itself is tiny. Even with being on a 7" tablet and having the ability to do that two-finger zoom-in motion (I don't know what else you'd call it), I can barely make it out. I just hope it's not a picture of Joel's ancestors or anything. I'd hate to find myself saying something potentially offensive about his grandmother. She's got chubby cheeks, and I'll bet she has to go to the bathroom, because while she doesn't look thrilled to be there (nobody smiles in those old-timey pics), she also isn't wearing the standard concentrated death stare common in photographs of that era. This suggests to me something else is at play, like she has to potty and is afraid to tell her mommy because of the scolding she'll get for not going potty before posing, like she was told to do. Or, well, maybe she just couldn't hold it any longer. You know little kids...you put them in unfamiliar situations and, well, sometimes accidents occur. Again, it's hard to judge much from the actual image itself, but I'm thinking the kid is no longer in the diaper-wearing demographic, and even if she was I highly doubt the absorbancy of the fabric was anything but limited at best. One last thought: It's possible she's dead . I know it sounds morbid, but stick with me on this...that's what people did back in the day, according to that Mental Floss article. It was a way of memorializing the deceased...taking a family photo as if the kid was still alive. I couldn't make this up even if I wanted to...could you imagine the outrage today if your kid died and you took her to the JC Penney portrait studio for one last photo shoot, and then posted them joints up on Facebook? I don't even know how to properly respond to the question I just posed.Anyway, I'm sure this girl eventually went on to have a lovely, if not mediocre, life. Maybe she grew up embracing whatever technology she could, and would have a family of her own that she could subject to the torture of being assembled for a group photo. But in a sick, twisted way, now that I've exposed certain theories, it's kinda hard not to imagine she pissed herself to death in fear of her mother and the camera. Yes, I know that kind of speculation is not right, and perhaps there is something inherently wrong with me. But go team Flying Monkeys FTW!!    "'I love the phrase why is that?' says David Feldman, the author of the Imponderables series of books. David believes there is no question too obscure or too broad to answer. For me, I am basing the prompt question more in the terms of the intersection between your creativity and your knowledge. What do you understand about this universe of ours that few others realize?"Wow...what a question. The first thought that came to mind when I saw this prompt was the song "Why Is That?" by Boogie Down Productions , which uses biblical references to question differences between races, basically. But that's not gonna solve the question in this prompt, and I'm not feelin' like gettin' into all the discussions about religion and what it means to the color of one's skin.If I truly understood anything about this universe that few others did, wouldn't that make me some kind of genius? Like, the most scholarly of all the scholars? That would put me in some prestigious company, yo.  All I know- all I really think everyone should know about themselves in regards to the universe- is that I don't know everything, and there's practically an infinite amount of things to learn about that we should be trying to discover daily even at the most minimal of levels. The day we stop doing that is the day we start dying. Once we close off what the universe has to offer us, ya may as well pack it in and order your casket. It sounds so simple and cliché, and I know I'm not the only one who knows that, but it's the best I can do. I'm not some know-it-all, world beating super genius ...I'm just a guy who writes in his blog once in awhile and sometimes licks the knife when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  "When you look in the mirror what do you see? While most of us can't leave home in order to find ourselves like in Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, we can self-explore. Remember one thing though: the place you put on your makeup is called a 'vanity' for a reason."Let's get two things straight right from the get-go: 1) I don't wear makeup, so the dual meaning of "vanity" doesn't apply to me; and 2) I was working at Borders Express when Eat, Pray, Love was released...I seem to remember most of my coworkers hating it, and my ex couldn't get through it; I think she said something about the author's tone being condescending or something, but she was turned off by it. I of course didn't read it, because back then fuck self-discovery and awareness...I was just trying to get through days so I could go home and do nothing and get wasted and go to bed so I could do it all again the next day 'cuz 'Murica!! or something. And I still try not to look in mirrors, because I don't like confrontation. I can change the image all I want but it's still the same person starin' back at me, and no kind of haircut or dye job or facial expression can just transform a personality overnight. If it were that easy, how confused would society be if multimillionaires became friendly and overly charitable and criminals took a pill to become good guys? Up becomes down and wrong becomes right. That's not how the world is intended to work, unfortunately. I know all the self-help jibber jabber about change and controlling one's destiny and all that. We show the world what we want them to see and blah blah blah. "We choose." I'm not saying that's wrong or that's right, and I'm not agreeing or disagreeing...I'm just not passing judgment, on you or me. There's too many variables at play to always be comfortable or upset with who we see, and if you were to ask me every day for a year that same question, you might get 365 different answers (if I didn't punch you out after hearing the same shit for a week or so first  ). Today also marks the last day of another Soundtracker challenge (I love that my predictive text thingy remembers "Soundtracker" too now), and as usual I'm out of days before I'm out of songs and bands. It feels weird that the Beastie Boys haven't shown up earlier on my playlist this month, because they're definitely in my top 5 of all-time favorite artists. You've probably heard me mention tons of times that I grew up a hip-hop kid, so I won't get into all that again. I remember when the Check Your Head album came out...the Beastie Boys' "comeback" record, with them playing live instruments. It was mind-blowing, because of the transition from frat house b-boys to the sample-heavy (and financially no longer possible to make) Paul's Boutique to something that slid nicely into the grunge, alternative aesthetic that was so popular at the time. I used to tape videos off MTV back then, and I remember one of my good friends telling me he caught "So What Cha Want" on VHS. It was the summer and we were hangin' out a lot...we kicked back with a few beers, popped the tape in, and started chillin'. And once those beers did their thang and this jam came on, we became the fourth and fifth Beastie Boys, dancin' around the living room in front of the tv with just shorts on and winter hats. Ahhh, to be young again. And it's also worth mentioning that if we're ever at any kind of function where Rockband is being played, I can do Adrock's, Mike D's, and MCA's verses in this song by myself, and score perfectly. Yes, if I go to my grave only having one talent in this life, it's that I own the mic during "So What Cha Want". "Well I'm Dr. Spock, I'm here to rock y'all... I want you off the wall if you're playin' the wall." Lyrics.   I must admit that in the last few years I've only seen a handful of Parks And Recreation episodes, but I used to watch it somewhat regularly and I did find it to be enjoyable...I'll probably catch the series finale on Hulu one night when I can't think of anything else to watch while falling asleep once I've caught up on other shows I'm more interested in. In the meantime though, I'll get a few chuckles from this set of Parks And Rec fan art . People sometimes ask me what it means to be successful. I stare blankly at them for a minute like I'm trying to do a significantly ridiculous math problem in my head, and then I remember these tips to make you appear smart . Sometimes it's not who you know, but what you know other people don't know you know when you otherwise don't know anything. In order to appeal to Andre The Blog Monkey (and not waste an opportunity to pass along a life lesson), here is the Banana Experiment . Yeah, I didn't get it at first either, and maybe it doesn't always apply in the real world, but don't say I never tried to educate you in this here slice of internet goodness. And finally, I'm not a Star Trek fan (or a fan of sci-fi in general), but it's sad anytime the world loses an icon like Leonard Nimoy. Much has been made about his final tweet , and it's a sweet thought that is sure to be just as much a part of his legacy as his Spock character, but it got me thinking...will Twitter become the destination for many people's quote-unquote famous last words? Is society trending in the direction of deaths trending on social media? As some of you think about what Nimoy's words might mean to you and how we view life through the lens of television and computers and technology, let's also look back at the last words uttered by some of the most notable people in history.And that's all I've got for you guys today. Still plenty of time to sign up for the next Official Round of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , which starts tomorrow (crap...that means I have to get the forum switched over and ready), and tomorrow's also "The 8th Annual Quill Awards Ceremony" as well. Good luck to everyone in the Unofficial Elimination-Style Fundraiser Challenge Blogapocalypses! Peace, you think you're slicker than grease, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
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