Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation. |
SPRING: 16 'Azamát (1 June) Weather where I am: 82º and sunshine. Weather in Victoria, TX: 70º and soaking wet. Weather in Monaco: 70º and pleasant for everyone except Prince Albert. Why set goals at all? Why not just write whenever and not worry about it? Like why do I HAVE to write everyday? I'm not inspired. I have better things to do. I'm too overwhelmed, too busy. No one reads this shit anyway. I'm no Shakespeare! Okay ... so you're not Shakespeare ... which is good ... very good ... imagine yourself 120 years old and WRINKLED! ... now imagine youself at 200 ... 300 ... 500! YOU are YOU . Which deserves a laugh at the best and worst of times. So: Like why do I HAVE to write everyday? No one says you do. However, like any bad habit, it is important to do it all the time. If you want the bad habit of BEING a writer, you have to write and be willing to say, "I AM A WRITER (not because I'm famous, published, ab-fab gorgeous) BECAUSE I WRITE!" Do you eat everyday? Sleep everyday? Okay ... so there was that party last weekend ... BUT, I bet you eat and sleep 6 out of 7 . I'm not inspired. Like who is! Inspirations come when they come! They have their own agenda . Will you have your pad and pen ready? Will you have honed your skills? Will you recognize it when it comes (and sadly when it goes)? There is an old quote about inspiration and perspiration ... I have better things to do. Then do them. They may provide inspiration. However ... if writing NEVER gives you joy or release, then do something else. Perhaps, you are not meant to be a writer. The world needs gardeners, scientists, therapists, dishwashers ... It will not miss a writer-not-meant-to-be. Now if we can get some of the incompetants in Washington, Ottawa, London, Paris ... trying to ruin the world .... to get another job ... *sigh* I'm too overwhelmed, too busy. If you are happy, fine. If not, become underwhelmed (and stop ironing your underwear). You can choose to be unbusy. Unplug the phone (or ignore it). Undo the idea that you HAVE to be there for everyone all the time. If you die tomorrow ... who will they go to? Tell them you've died and they can go there now! In other words, be selfish and prioritize. That may mean giving yourself a couple hours each day for YOU. ... And if you are a writer? Your writing too. No one reads this shit anyway. Oh get off it already! I read it every day. What do you think I write? Think it comes out smelling like perfume? Sometimes it is pure unmitigated manure. But sometimes ... And here at WDC it IS read. This is very hard for an HSP (highly sensitive person) like me. I've gotten hurtful reviews. Spiteful ratings. But ... that's only one person's opinion. I've also been published. Which gets back to: I'm no Shakespeare! Why, blessed be! We have had ONE. We don't NEED any more. I'm more influenced by whoever I'm reading (Hugo and Lowell at the moment) and would rather read Dickinson, M. Moore, Bishop, Ammons, Kooser, Kumin, L. Hughes, Giovanni, Sexton, Lorca, Brooks ... Any number of greats. None of them Shakespeare. So why set goals? We all set goals ... to get up ... to pay the bills ... to lose 5 pounds ... to feed the cat before it feeds on us ... Set soft goals if you must: Write two lines everyday; keep a diary, a blog; read/edit a page or two in the morning or evening. Consistency is important here. Or hard goals: 1. Write 3,000 words a day. 2. Get this novel written within a month. 3. Edit, make copies and send to my agent/publisher/friend by the 15th of July. Drive and discipline are essential in this case. No drama or distractions allowed. (If you have family, you will need to factor that in to achieve these kind of goals ~ a separate office for writing far-far away MAY work ~ good luck). My goals are soft: read, write, record images, take down funny things people say, and hard: print a chapbook in time for the last Tea at Three, write 700 poetic/prosaic sketches a year, edit one poem for every blog entry. So WHY set goals? I set them because I want to achieve something. Because I respond to goal-setting. Because this is MY choice for ME (and no one else). IMAGES Golden lilies; pink roses; yellow flowers on a tree (name?); picking linden blossoms; two signs: 'we cannot sow with our fists clenched; to sow we must open our fists'. Did a firefly pass by? Erin's lighter flares, a flash beneath the meagre moonlight from the crescent sliver in the sky. Stars blink no brighter than an ember, flicked from her cigarette tonight. She sighs. [163.172] And remember:
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