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Walk through his own boulevard... Welcome to Matt's Blog |
I loved a guy. His name was Robbie. I loved him so much I promised him that I'd never try to kill myself again. It was real. When I was with him I never thought about death, life, only the fact I loved him with all my heart. He died. Never trust life to be fair because as soon as it gives you something: BAM! There will be some one who is determined to drive their car into them. Right when they're reovering from something... When everything looks like it's going to be alright. Now it's been a long while. I still hate life without him. I still see every day as some kind of chore simply because that's how it feels. It hurts to be so.... Alone. Except Jay doesn't want me to be alone. He wants to help me to 'get over' the one I loved so feircely. I don't believe it possible. I sort of wonder if I want it to move on or if I want to love my lost angel forever. Jay's always been my best friend. Ever since forever. Ever since his own father... Yeah... So what am I to do when he now wants to be more than friends. I know he knows I'm gay. He knows I know he's never exactly been straight as a pole or anything.... More than friends when every second I feel as if I'm missing something? Confusion. |
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