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 |  Repository for my Zanier Ideas... on writing, and life. |
| I am doing a series of blog posts on self regulation or, as I am wont to call it, state control. On the net are a lot of things that either don't work or aren't as good as the people say. I've done this for years, it works and if you do it right, you will feel it working in seconds. That said, it might take a little fiddling but should be only a few minutes to get a first result. The first trick you might learn is to understand the link between body language and emotional state. Many people have watched Amy Cuddy speak about "Power Poses" and noted that her famous Ted Talk and the study it was based in have been debunked. But the fact that her study failed to capture this connection reliably does not mean it does not exist. Using body language for self regulation is more like singing than like reading poetry--you have to hit the notes right--but it is powerful. One of the first effective moves I learned was to smile. For this you will need to understand the difference between a sardonic smile and a Duchenne smile. As an actor, this difference is best understood by looking in the mirror. For starters, the useful smile is the Duchenne, which begins at the eyes in a squint. The sardonic or 'gambler's smile' only starts and ends at the lips. Stand comfortably in front of the mirror and make eye contact with your self, as this will magnify the effect of the exercise and make it easier to determine what you are doing right. As you do, make a pained expression--anger, disgust, anything. In so doing, your reflection should seem different to you, perhaps more hostile. Then, shift your attention to your cheekbones and smile, starting with the eyes. Start subtly, if you like, and build. Note how much more friendly your reflection seems, and how good it feels. As you reflect upon your experience, pay attention to how much a difference this change of behavior just in the face made on your overall mood. Note how you can bring the bad feelings back at will, and how you can send them away just as fast. The truth is that in order to really feel these emotions, your body language (including all the body, we've only just started) must align. Try to switch to an angry face and keep the happy feeling; or a happy face and keep the angry feeling. You'll notice that it's hard to remember those feelings, or why you felt them. If you didn't feel anything, add some other bit of acting. Puff up you chest during the happy time, perhaps, or raise your shoulders to your ears during the angry bit. Ham it up before the mirror until you feel something. Just changing your body changes your mind. This gives you tremendous power over your life--a smiling attitude reveals the most luxurious bits of life, far more quickly than money alone. Understand that, as David Snyder says, "This is the worst you will ever be at this skill." Every single time you play with this it will become more powerful. And if "feeling better" were all you could do, it would be priceless. There is more--a lot more. Because smiling on yourself is an instant reward you can give, giving yourself the power to condition yourself immediately and powerfully shape your consciousness. But all that's for another day. Play with this, and learn it well. We can build on it in future installments. |
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