%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Cancer. Medical greed. A Space trip, seeking for the void, and for what's left of life |
Preface._  Why write, whatever this might turn out to become? Well, I do have a naive amount of questionable hope in enjoying a normal life span, as well as the next fellow. The other side of the coin is that I really don't have time. Period, that's the gist of my other life option. Life begins to tell you a joke. Life takes an entire lifetime. Giving the punchline at last, "...there's never was time to waste until tomorrow. Fervent with desire for the better days that never ever came.... "Cause you never paid the sacrifice it demanded...". Long after our prime has gone. As a "Cancer Survivor", almost fifty years of age. Time, I have left I am going to own it! Its's mine, all I truly posse before dying. I want to live my lifelong passion, Writing! Plus, sharing my true experience with renal, lymph node and brain cancer without any Chemo, Gamma Knife, what have you, just FECO, "Full Spectrum, Cannabis Oil". It's a slow endeavor for me to write now in days. Since I had to learn to speak and write again, though I believe that people should know what my experience with "Full Spectrum Cannabis Oil" was! One day I was the young tipsy fool to standing on an Argentinian tables mid party, or bar: and improvised poetry off the top of my head. Mostly flattering for the hordes of older ladies at a bar or sitting at their white tables loaded with bottles. I always got a warm applause and no shortage of inviting half grinned girls. From a slick tongued kind of dude, to a shy, insecure, at determined to gather my wits together, ".... a dime short, and a dollar late...", its time. Share my personal impression of how I perceived the whole medical approach to my Cancer. With movie star like oncologists, who give their devote patients the miracle of a letting us have few years more. The faceless, the ones that are going to die anyway, us the wretched. Why all the fiction? Simply put, perhaps because of untreated mental issues I am sure I drag along with me. A representation of the road ridden within my exercise of giving personal conflicts, physical illness, people's reactions a metaphoric representation. I'm almost sure, a childhood mechanism of turning inwards to my essence, to my imagination, the world I have seen as vast as outer space. The fiction like space travel, parallel dimensions, space phantoms mostly are personal mental challenges, I did end up isolating myself, Pang-Ghiara shows my male side, wild and free hunting the savanna. Almost eleven years ago, I got cancer, "Clear Cell Adenocarcinoma", in my right kidney. I was a thirty-eight, Psychology dropout, presently a Business Administration student, recently married and ready to settle down. After six years of Clinical Psychology at "Palermo University" in Buenos Aires, Argentina, of which neither of us wanted it bad enough to ever graduate. My kidney was promptly removed. To come back later for a second round. In May the bastard came with a stroke! That degenerate turd wasn't able to kill me. Aphasia was rudely overshadowing my life. Affecting the language center of my brain, apparently it was the complete motor plus partial kind, it made socializing, meeting new people, negotiating, even communicating with my wife abruptly became cumbersome, then just unpleasant. Having a whole sentiment clearly worked out in my head and barely able to bark out a close enough replica of those lost thoughts just made me so sad. Three tumors had caused it. I could see the guillotine hanging over my head. I was shoved down a deep, eye-opening, rabbit hole right out of nowhere. Me and my wife were frankly lost, her mother had passed away not too long before. Her cancer, it began in the breast, went to her bones. It was a big change, my soon wife to be and our move to Ecuador while my wife as much as I felt the frustration growing deep in our bowels. The wonderful promises from a good willed old man, were what kept us captive even though the answer every Saturday was always no. I was thirty-eight, healthy according to me. One night I stood in front of the white porcelain and pissed a twirly stream of red and piss. I must admit that the damn thing did startle me a bit. The ordeal would end up with my Aunt Terry scolding my old ass over the phone, and me finding a place in Santo Domingo, where I could have an echo done. After being stuck in a hot smothering room, a "waiting room", post war style, I was led through their garage, to a tiny room in the back. Before I knew it, we were sucking in fresh air, and it was done. We went for lunch and came back to the same stuffy waiting room to get our results from an oddly a concerned radiologist. She made her way out of her shabby ultrasound shack, just to quickly grab my arm. I was set back a bit the minute she faced me, and her face had contorted in a gesture of someone about to bawl their eyes out. Then with a matching sort of urgency she demanded I go directly to my physiologist, she insisted on this in a way we were instantly distraught. Sure enough sitting face to face across a green fiberglass table, I found out I had kidney cancer, living in a third world country they hardly name what you have, and reality suddenly become bleak. But, in some things the stairs actually do go deeper, chaos isn’t done yet. May, came along, I was looking into cannabis oil, my plan was to use it along with the chemotherapy to lessen the bad effects. I sat down with my wife to watch a movie, suddenly I was unable to change the channel, in a snap myself was ripped away, soon I couldn’t speak and writing followed. Distance college good bye and god knows what’s coming next. After blaming the oil and my incompetence in the lab, I found out I was blessed with three tumors in my brain. It was called "Parenchymal Tumor Lesion", or a Brain Metastatic Lesion in layman's terms, due to a metastasis of the Carcinoma in my lymph nodes. Leaving me with aphasia, "Complete motor and partial sensory aphasia.", which took me a while to look up, due to disappointment in myself, I guess. The kidney tumor was too large, so it leaned against my spine and passed to my lymphatic system, so pretty much all my body is game. Unpredictable monster, hunting me from a shadowy future. It was a change, my wife to be at that moment, decided to move to Ecuador, drop out of Psychology as just another thing unfinished in life, I guess. The wonderful promises from a good willed old man, my grandfather Mister Edward M. Evans, Esquire, about the opportunity to finally settle down had the both of us intoxicated. Far from the reality of sacrifice being the one road to a fulfilling life. We were trapped in a strange type of entanglement. See, while this theater act played out, Don Ed, or Sir, as I preferred to call him, never told any of us he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. So, even though every Saturday we religiously kept as lunch with him. Brought him good grades. Pointless conversations dragging on and on. A dog trying to catch its own tail. Me watching the woman I loved begin to change. We used to have a pleasant while sometimes, small talk despite the endless sassy secondhand comments from his fourth wife. Usually around the grounds of how he was such an unfaithful man. Every Saturday the answer it was always no. Ultimately, I look back on the entire issue from afar, Don Ed obligated the both of us, Mercedes and me to go back to school before he would be willing to help us start a palm oil farm. That was the correct thing to do. When or if the cancer comes pounding, upon a pouring night, dreary as gelid upon the deep hours of night... believe in yourselves, I intend to have a whole section on Making the oil, diet changes and does as well as don'ts. Cancer is what doctors say it is, but I am one more of thousands of people where the FECO did work, proving you do have options to choose from. Just as important the big "C", it will claim control over whatever you might claim to be about. "C." I will show you my experience, Mothers, Fathers, how even the people you don't give a damn about completely Change. Cancer will turn your life upside down! ... in ways you are unable to fathom. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
