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A version of me has been here before. Not this version. |
Time for some accountability talk. And part of that would definitely be recognizing that I have to break out of the thinking rut I have laid down and gotten comfortable in. So, instead of just acknowledging shit I am going to frame it as what I wish I were. Slip some positive affirmation The Secret type manifestation up in there. It is only 9 am and it has been a fucking day already. Some mornings the first thing out of my mouth is something super duper cunty to Husband A. And while this will sound bad - that is not what I am saying needs to change. I fully believe that he is not in a position to “deserve” not to hear shit. Plus I definitely have some….oh you won’t go, let’s see what I can do about that…..built in there. And I still think that is true - if someone won’t leave then I don’t know why I should continue making it comfortable for them to stay. However….. there is a much pettier, lazy, selfish part that I want to be changed. I want to stop smoking so I can avoid the garage and therefore not interact with the man. There never has to be that moment of environmental reset that seems to reset to shitty. There won’t be any unearned repercussions on Kid A and Kid B, and he (we) won’t have turned the remains of my day into an apocalypse story. Duuuuuude. I totally did NOT frame that in the positive way I said I would. I even forgot in the span of a double space and time check that I was going to do that and only know upon a reread. Ugh, and now I don’t want to. But I guess that’s the problem isn’t it. I want to be a non-smoker who wakes up and both unemotionally recognizes and limits my exposure to things that negatively alter my entire day. That really didn’t go the way I planned. Note - to everyone truly bothered by the title of my contest entry…..sleep easy, I did what you wanted. . This time. Blog Harbor Prompt# 2 The World Economic Forum has found the average adult will outlive their savings by approximately a decade. What are your best tips for spending and saving? Not exactly the spirit in which the prompt was issued but all that jibber jabber everywhere about making blog posts your own…. If I died right now halfway through this word I would have outlived my savings. So I don’t have tips. And if I did - they, clearly, would not be tips you would want to follow. Cash burns a hole in my pocket and honestly - my bank card gets pretty fucking hot in there. But it isn’t….foolish shit. Extra money never makes it all the way down the list to me to be extra and even if it did - I go crazy and get like…the more expensive, larger pack of razor blades. Big dreams and all that. Kid A and Kid B clearly get needs met first. I would need to have tons of money to meet a large list of longtime unmet needs before I would have any to save. |