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Whatever happens, happens |
| Y’know, everyone who’s been to China comes back raving about the cities- how they’re so clean, how the skyscrapers are so tall, and how Beijing even has a scooter taxi service where they exchange your stuck-in-traffic car for their scooter so you can get home faster. Nobody ever told me how hard it is to learn Chinese. Sure, everything people have said is true, but after a month of living in HangZhou and a 30-day Duolingo streak, I’m still no closer to learning the language. It doesn’t help that different provinces have different dialects- how am I supposed to communicate anything if I can’t understand what’s being asked? At least when I’m online I can use Google Translate- or, in this case, Baidu Translate since Google isn’t allowed in China. That’s how I ended up in this situation. I answered a cat adoption ad, followed the map’s directions to the pickup location, and procured the cat. However, the cat carrier was broken. Maybe the owner tried to tell me and I didn’t understand, or maybe they saw a foreigner and decided to mess with me. Either way, I now have a cat-less cat carrier and a missing cat. “ Bu guan wo de shi ” said the owner. “ Ni na le, po le, jiu shi ni de wen ti . Not my fault! You take, you break.” His finger points at me as he says “ni,” and I assume that he’s referring to me. All that for four words? Geez. “Can you, um, knee? Can knee help me find the cat?” I mime searching for the cat. “No,” he shakes his head. “ Bu guan wo de shi ” he repeats. I sigh. “Okay fine. I’ll go find him myself.” I wander off, holding the busted carrier. I pull out my phone and open Baidu’s translation function. “Have you seen my cat?” It tells me, “Ni you jian dao wo de mao ma? ” I copy the sounds as close as possible. “Knee yo jian dow wall duh maw mah?” I ask the nearest people. I show them a picture of the cat on my phone. I get confused, horrified looks from the general group. “Ummm…” I fumble for my phone and type in “my cat is missing” “Wo de mao bu jian le ” the expert voice announces. “Ohhhh” the group begins chattering. “ “Ta de mao bu jian le. Ni you kan dao ma? ” “Mei You ” “Wo ye mei you ” “Qi shi, wo de erzi shuo ta you kan dao. Bu guo wo yi wei ta zai luan shuo hua, mei you li ta ” A man shakes his head and laughs. My head bounces back and forth. I need those in-ear translator devices they have at fancy conferences to help me make sense of this all. “Ummm. Mao?” I ask, pointing to the cat. “Yes!” The head-shaking man points in a direction. ”Na ge fang xiang ” “That way?” I follow his finger. “Yes! That way,” he nods. I take off running, shouting “thank you!” ”Bu ke qi ” He yells back. I find the cat lapping up a dish of milk from a nearby restaurant, and approach it slowly. “Heere kitty kitty kitty.” I try to grab it, but it must have sensed me, and dashes off. I groan. “Here I go again.” Wc 482 Prompt: You are a stranger in a foreign land – try to communicate with the locals in an attempt to find your missing pet. |
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