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 |  This is a continuation of my blogging here at WdC |
| Criticism and The Writer (Overcoming Idol Syndrome) I was chatting on Discord (as much as you can "chat" online), and the woman brought up that I had said something that changed the way she viewed herself, her writing and criticism. I was stunned that I had had even a small impact, and asked her what on earth I'd done. She then explained what I'd said to her, reminding me, and I thought, while it is fresh in my mind, I'd share it here. On those alleged talent shows like Idol, Got Talent, whatever, there is often a series of episodes at the start where the judges are shown going through the hopefuls, giving honest impressions. And sometimes - not often enough, in my opinion - the judges are brutally honest. "You are not a good singer." "You cannot hold a tune." "You sound like you're in pain." Those sort of comments. And every single time, the person who had just vomited out the words of a song in front of them says the same thing: "My mum/ grandma/ friends/ sister/ people at Starbucks say I'm really good!" And they storm off, vowing to make it as a huge artist and "show them all." And they never do. Of course not. This is what I referred to as Idol Syndrome. It is when those close to you tell you that you are good at something you clearly love because they don't want to upset you or destroy your dreams or whatever. They think they are doing the right thing. However, what it does is it skews your perception of your own ability. Sort of like an artistic version of the Dunning–Kruger Effect I know. I refused to take writing courses for a few years after high school because of the good grade that teacher in my final year gave me and all the amazingly positive feedback I had received from my friends. As a writer, I felt I could do no wrong. And then, of course, selling that first story and that first poem while still a teenager added to the egotism. I knew it all. And for the next five years or so, that was what I believed. Then I received some feedback from a publisher I'd sent a group of stories to. He was brutally honest but also encouraging, sending me pages of notes (by snail mail; this was pre-Internet, remember). He went to a lot of effort, so he must have seen something in me. However, I was angry. I showed my girlfriend at the time and she read the stories and the feedback, then went through each point he made and explained why he was right, comparing it to Stephen King short stories (she was as much of a fan as I was). Hearing it from her, someone I felt deeply for, hurt as well, but I also realised through her use of King that she was right. And that meant so was the publisher. Looking at what I did and what King did differently opened my eyes. It was the epiphany I needed. I was still angry, but now at my friends for lying to me, I confronted one of them, and he said that I was better than all of them and they thought it was just a thing I did, not realising how serious I wanted writing to be. But he also said they didn't want to upset me. They were shielding me from the truth and, in doing so, did more harm than good. So, yes, I was a victim of Idol Syndrome, thinking I was better than I was because people didn't want to hurt my ego., Instead, they hurt my development. Best intentions, sure, but not good for me as a writer. I know now that, as a writer, I am middle of the road. I am not truly terrible, but I am far from the top of the heap. And I am always trying to improve. That's why I use beta readers, why I trust the editors and take note of what they say at the publishing houses who accept my work, and why I do not ask my friends to read my work expecting decent feedback. Relatives? Well, my kids are brutally honest, so they're cool. Really, really brutally honest. Anyway, that is why sites like this (WdC) are vital for beginner writers. They may not like the feedback, but it is given to help them improve. And it is why I feel some reviewers here let down these writers by gushing over pieces that need work. No, I don't think we should discourage them, but telling them a work is worth 5 stars when it would struggle to get a C-grade in school class is not helping anyone. It is continuing Idol Syndrome. Then there is the opposite side of the coin - nit-picking and finding fault when there is none of note. People trying to bignote themselves by being overly critical. These are generally easier to spot and deal with though, and that is not the point of this diatribe. So, I would encourage more honest reviews. Let's make Idol Syndrome a thing of the past. |
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