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 |   Left-overs piled on hot rice and mixed. |
| I am not lost. Except that I am. But I'm not interested in just conforming to others' beliefs to assuage their fears that there are possibilities outside the box everyone is expected to live in. It's fear that kept me from using drugs. Fear kept me in school. I conformed in many ways. But, I needed to crawl out of my own box... and found myself in a bigger one. Travel? Still a box. My comfort zone is larger than many of my friends but it's still a comfort zone with walls. To Dr. Jeffyll, or Mr. Hyde? re "Christian Q&A + Faith"  : "I'm not a Christian (no problems with Jesus). But I'll try to answer this as a Baha'i.I would repeat the three Onenesses: God is One, God's Messengers come from the same Source, Mankind is One. It has guided my life and how I act. We do not have rituals; but, I could work on prayer and being more mindful in my interactions with others. In Montana there's a mix of religious beliefs but many are Christians. In Thailand Theravada Buddhism is official but there's freedom of affiliation. In both places I need to be aware of the importance of ritual to others. My life has not been blessed by the criteria often cited by Americans; but, I've been blessed in other ways. I don't consider any burden [I carry] to be placed by God. However, many of God's "followers" have been brutal in their narrow application of my-way-or-the-highway. I bear no cross; I seek no salvation. That's the burden borne by others." I am learning to swim in the condo's pool to overcome my fear of water, one that started as a child. I float on my back and gaze up at Venus talking to the Moon. I'm a landlubber who would be content (read 'prefer') to do this in the Flint Hills of Kansas. On a boat? Not so much. But I've had to be flexible in the past so I would if I had to. I couldn't write Viv's story because it's so far away from my own experience. dogpack howling & prowling (Viv) re "Dream Voyage: Revisited" : comment in her notebook: "I don't review because I'm not qualified; plus, dreams are quirky. A blow-by-blow account of the storm (dropping into it or severely clipping the intro - the epilogue may need a word or two added, the gravelly shore was warm, grass green, trees unbent, rocks solid beneath me something short, sweet and concrete) would provide the focus for a flash fiction. 500 words? Less? More? Questions... what kind of boat? It doesn't matter in a dream, but details make a better story. What colors, sizes, shapes can be added? What sounds, smells, touch, tastes (eating anything when the storm hit? did you keep it down?). Add a back-up boiler and make it steampunk! Whatever works. This can be worked with. Personally, I'm frightened of water. I bob, don't swim. A barrel would be comforting in some ways." Neil's mother just died. Mine died last year. Both lived a long life. My mother became nicer in her old age. A pleasant surprise. It would be nice if I did. I struggle with my own issues; but, when my mother died some left-over childhood issues seemed to dissipate like mist. Maybe they were a mirage all along. I also deal with anger. So does Pan. I need to let go and slowly I am... just not quick enough. Dr Gonzo (Neil) re "A Sad Day to Rejoice" : Yes, a fighter. Almost 90. Not bad post scarlet fever. That said, every day comes to an end. Apparently she had many happy ones and bestowed blessings on everyone she met. "Floating on a Sea of Guilt Ridden Relief" Family is an important part of a hospital stay in Thailand. They assume everyone has family and that family will visit, feed and look after needs. Families tend to be strong here; but, not everyone has one. When my mother died last year at age 99 I felt a certain-lightening. Fortunately, my sister was there and it was her time-to-go. The rage isn't good. It's understandable though. Had a good discussion about rage last night. The air-between-us seems clearer now. After the storm... the calm. Stuff. You will find new homes for some of it, choose to keep some of it, realize that with every touch you are touching something your mother once held. If you ever feel overwhelmed... let it out. Life is a series of wounds and healing. For June 2023:
Attention: Tangled in Ghostly Witch-Webs and ScaryBee ~ 730 words 32 |
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