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 |  The Banana Blog |
"Day 1: Ft. Lauderdale Arrive at the ship, get settled in, explore. Have fun and don't forget your sunscreen! It's going to be in the low 80s in Ft. Lauderdale today. Plan to arrive no later than 2:30pm. Departure time is 4pm sharp!" The flight from Billings got into Ft. Lauderdale at 2 PM. I left Montana wearing my winter pants, wool long johns, a wool sweater and light boots. Now I’m in Florida with the humidity so thick I think I am swimming through air. When I got off the plane, it hit me. The temperature, the humidity, the blazing sun. It was 2:15 PM. I am to be at the dock at 2:30. Merciful heavens. Good thing I packed light. No baggage to claim, except for the baggage I carry around all the time. But no time to tell you about that. There is a van outside with the name of the tour company. Emblazoned on the yellow van in big red letters is: Andre’s Caribbean Adventures The driver stands beside holding a sign with my name. I see there are others inside. Bouncing around inside is someone small. Did someone actually bring a child along? “Miss NormaJean?” he asks. “Why yes, that’s me!” I am now sweating through all the layers. No time to change, my mind or my clothes. “You’re late. We have to leave.” “Yeah, well, sorry. Better late than never. My flight from Montana was delayed, turbulence over Omaha and …” My words were cut off as the driver grabbed my bag, threw it to the top of the van and then pushed me inside. “Better never than late,” he growled. As I lay unceremoniously on the floor of the van, it sped down the road out of the airport and toward the boat dock. I found a seat in the back. Other passengers gave me the evil stink-eye. The small child was nowhere to be seen. I settled in, wished I could take off some clothing. The A/C didn’t seem to reach to the back. Suddenly a small monkey smoking a cigarette appeared from under the seat in front of me. It shoved me a note then disappeared, leaving a small smoke ring behind.  Welcome Aboard! You are in Cabin #13 Your bunk mate is Andre Cabin #13? I don’t believe in bad omens, but don’t motels and elevators deliberately ignore that number? Great. Another item to worry about. But at least I get to share my cabin with the tour company CEO. What an honor! As we motored along, I imagined our cruise. The islands, sand, sun, and fun. Then I panicked. Sunscreen! Safe at home on the kitchen counter. We arrived at the dock finally. The cruise ship seemed a little small to me. Could it hold all of us? Plus the staff? I’ve never been on a cruise so perhaps all will be fine. I soon found Cabin #13. It has two bunks and a small dresser. As I put my suitcase down, a monkey dropped from the top bunk. “Well, hello there! Aren’t you cute!” The little scamp hit me with a banana. Then a cigar. Then a bottle of sunscreen came flying past my head. I ducked just in time. Crazy monkey! It ran out the open door. I chased it down the deck. I slid to a stop before I fell into the ocean. The captain grabbed my arm. “I see you met Andre.” “The monkey’s name is Andre?” He chuckled and let my arm drop. “You must be NormaJean. Andre’s your cabin mate. To keep him happy, just give him his favorite drink every now and then. And cigars. He does love his drink and smokes.” “What does he like to drink?” I can’t believe I’m asking this question. “The Monkey Gland.” The captain chuckled as he walked away. https://www.thespruceeats.com/monkey-gland-cocktail-recipe-759322 What in the world have I gotten myself into? Queen NormaJean II GreenEyes    |
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