%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket? |
|
Fair Warning: I've upped the rating on this blog. It is now set at GC. |
I had a great time going out with my friends last night.  About ¾ of the way through the night Bonnie told the whole group, “you know (Kay) is gonna write about all of this in her blog tomorrow. What do you think she’ll say?” Everyone jumped in pretending to be me dictating my blog. They came up with gems like this… “When I saw Bonnie slide Gustav (the inflatable man) out of his box I felt a rush of anticipation. ‘Ohmigod,’ I thought, ‘his schlong is huge!’ Then, I realized it was his leg. I haven’t felt that disappointed since the first time I peeled those sexy little swim trunks off my Malibu Ken.” or “Suddenly I was glad that Tony stayed at home. I licked my lips nervously as I watched the bottle spinning around and around. I’d never kissed a woman before.” or “I hate them ALL! Every time we go out they get drunk and embarrass me, but they really went too far when they wrote that limerick about me!” Yeah, our party game last night involved limerick writing again, and when that was finished, I was egged on to write limerick about everyone. The more we drank, the ruder they became. I would post a couple of the better ones here, but I’d have to change the rating on my blog.  They did manage to get me back pretty good though.  |
| As I see it, there are two possibilities. . . 1. I am an uber-nerd lacking all self awareness OR 2. I just really like free stuff. For the moment, I'm going with number two. It is better for my self esteem. So let me tell you what I did on my Friday night. My husband was away, so the kids and I ordered a pizza for dinner. Hmmm... after the pizza I took a nap.  , but after that, things really picked up.Since I'm going to be road tripping with the family down to Virginia for vacation, I wanted to add some new, mutually agreeable, music on my IPod. So, I bopped in to ITunes and browsed music. After downloading a couple albums, I got to thinking it might be cool to download an audiobook for the trip. Maybe something we could all enjoy. (I've got an older IPod, so it doesn't do video.) While I'm paddling around ITunes and deciding that audiobooks are WAY too pricey for my liking, I spotted something I'd never seen. It was called IUniversity. If the little orange oval next to it can be believed, it is something new. Wow! Can I just say... WOW! What a wonderful little corner of ITunes this was. Penn State, Stanford, MIT, Duke, UC Berkley, Texas A&M, and a couple other universities were represented. They had a lot of Podcasts that were targeted at prospective students, but they also had recordings of a huge variety of speakers, forums, and open courses. All of it was available for free. Okay, so maybe it is a bit nerdy that I'm interested in this stuff, but let me tell you the rest. At Duke University, I found something called "Theater of the Mind." A group of students called the "Put me down players" had produced a series of radio plays that can be download... FREE! The first on I listened to was called Bedtime Stories for Adults and was based on the Politically Correct tales of James Finn Garner. I laughed so hard listening to these. The first story was the tale of the Three Codependent Billy Goats Gruff. The second tale was the Three Little Pigs in which the Big Bad Wolf is a location consultant for the huge corporation Wolfmart. LOL! Lastly they tell the tale of Little Red Riding Hood. So much fun, and there are still 11 tracks of radio plays yet to explore including a production of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Did I mention that there are also musically performances, student films, and various poetry readings available for free download. I think it is genius on the part of Universities to promote themselves this way, and I'm looking forward to more schools jumping on the bandwagon. The fact that I spent my Friday evening doing this is probably not a great reflection on my social life, and certainly I could have found more productive ways to use my time, but... so be it. Tonight I'm going out with my friends to celebrate Bonnie's birthday. Rumor has it there will be more fun games and prizes. Woohoo! I don't know how they can possibly top the used Ace of Base cassette I won last time! |
| Today is my WdC birthday! I’ve been on the site for a year now. When I first stumbled in I was fresh back from vacation and depressed as hell to be back at work. I wrote a poem about the dreariness of being stuck in a job, and a life, that seemed to be going nowhere. It became the first item in my port. It wasn’t alone there for long, and soon I was gifted an upgrade. The rest, as they say, is history. Fortunately, things have been much more upbeat since then. I don’t know for sure, but rumor has it that there might be a celebratory cake later, and I’m kind of in the mood for a pitcher of Mudslides. Yum! |
| I have a short memory. I’d forgotten how many genres are broken out on this site. Each time I create a new item, I scroll through that list, my eyes roll back in my head, and I think I might even drool a little. Now, I’m sure that there are very good reasons for all NINETY genres being what they are. Somewhere there might even be an explanation of the type of writing that should be included in the different genres, but I haven’t seen it, so I’m gonna give you my break down. Action/Adventure, Children’s, Comedy, Drama, Educational, Foreign, Fantasy, Horror/Scary, Mystery (Detective is really a subtype here), Romance/Love, Sci-fi, Thriller/Suspense, and Western Just add porn and Jane Fonda exercise videos (the difference between those two can be subtle) and you’d have all the sections of the video store I used to work in. Actually we called it the “Adult” section, so you can only imagine my disappointment when I started reading items in the Adult genre. Fortunately we’ve got Erotica so I’m going to lump that in with the rest. Crime/Gangster probably fits in here somewhere as a subtype to one of the above. These are the categories/sections/genres that make intuitive sense to me. These genres create clear expectations about what you are getting. Biographical, Mythology, Philosophy, Reference, Research, Satire, Tragedy, Tribute, Fanfiction, How-to/Advice, Self Help, Gothic, and Melodrama Moving from video store to book store, these are categories that mean something. We are still dealing in known quantities. Adult, Men’s, Teen, Women’s, and Young Adult These are audiences. Since we are allowed to pick three genre for each item, this allows us to specify are intended audience. Arguably, Gay/Lesbian could be included here. Again, these are helpful, meaningful, and pretty straight forward ways to tag your writing. Animal, Arts, Business, Computers, Environment, Fashion, Finance, Food/Cooking, Geneology, Health, History, Hobby/Craft, Home and Garden, Internet and web, Legal, Medical, Military, Music, Occult, Parenting, Sports, Transportation, Travel, War and Writing My perception is that these are subject areas, and that writing in these genres will be consistent with the stated subject. On the other hand, they could be themes. Hmmm… I need to expand this to include Death, Family, Friendship, Relationship, Ghost, Holiday, Nature, News, Parenting, Psychology, and Supernatural Now here is a pet peeve of mine… Political, Religious, Spiritual, and Scientific are all presented as adjectives to make them sound like genres, but these are subjects, or, if abstracted, they are themes. These should be nouns…Politics, Religion, Spirituality, and Science. Activity, Contest, Writing.Com All kinds of stuff in these three, but for the most part the meaning of these genres in unique to the environment of WdC. Cultural, Emotional, Inspirational, Personal, Regional These are vague adjectives that don’t let on much. Is it personal in the sense of “…and then my gynecologist told me…,” (AKA to much information) or is it personal in that it conveys thoughts and feelings in an intimate way. I used these genre much more often when I was writing poetry. I’m going to throw Experience and Opinion in here because although not adjectives, they are equally vague as tags. This leaves two genre untapped. Community and Entertainment I dunno. Now, with NINTY Genres you’d think all the bases would be covered, but no, I have a complaint. After all the apparent hair splitting that has gone into creating these genres, I think there has been a critical oversight. Why isn’t "Humor" a genre? Oh, I know what you are thinking. You’re thinking “Sheesh Kay, get a life! You say humor, I say comedy, you say tomato, I say tomato.” (Note to self: This particular cliché does not work in writing! Well, maybe if I could spell phonetically, but I can hardly spell the regular way. Heck, I’d have put an ‘e’ at the end ‘tomato’ if not for spell check… but I digress) Why humor? Well, in my way of thinking, a comedy is a funny series of events that lead to a happy ending. Comedy is also something that stand up comedians perform. Comedy is wonderful, but it is a subset of this larger thing called… you guessed it… humor. According to the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, humor refers “to an ability to perceive and express a sense of the clever or amusing. Humor consists principally in the recognition and expression of incongruities or peculiarities present in a situation or character. It is frequently used to illustrate some fundamental absurdity in human nature or conduct…” Anyone else with me on this? |
| Yesterday morning we had a visit from a large cat and it has been skulking about ever since. It is a noisy, awful thing that digs in my gardens and it is driving my poor dog crazy! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Okay, so it isn't you're typical cat. To make matters even worse, we now have deer hanging about for the dog to bark at. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Technically it is a "Deere" I guess it could be worse. I could have five goats. Needless to say, the water authority is finally making good on their promise to correct the drainage problems on our street. To do this, they will need to close the road tomorrow. I'm hoping they do that AFTER I leave for work.... or maybe not. In other news, I've been working on my port. I've been reorganizing a bit to spruce the place up. I had to add a couple new folders to hold all the writing I'm doing... seems that I've developed a fondness for flash fiction. |
| I really do have a tendency to start things and never finish them. I'm turning over a new leaf though. In the past couple weeks I've started and finished two whole stories (both flash fiction, but it's a start). In the spirit of finishing what I start, I'm going to finally put the manifesto to bed by publicly stating my intentions. 1. I intend to put off the unpleasant for as long as possible. I will procrastinate. I really don't give a shit whether or not it is a good idea, and as long as I get it done, who are you to criticize. 2. I intend to parody, mock, poke fun at, tease, kid, and otherwise attempt to bring levity to situations. The attempt is to make you laugh, but if I only succeed in amusing myself, that's good too. 3. I intend to go to my grave not knowing how to work a lawn mower. I could learn, and yeah, I probably should learn, but selective ignorance has been working really well for me so far. While I'm at it, I'm also not going to learn to cook a turkey dinner. 4. I intend to surround myself with people who love and accept me for who I am, and then, for the hell of it, I will periodically confound their expectations just to keep'em guessing. Okay, last but not least... 5. I intend to make the world a better place. I might not succeed, but that's the plan. Don't worry too much though, I'm not looking for projects. I'm starting small, with my own kids. I intend to teach them how to be considerate, respectful and productive members of society. Wish me luck! So there ya go. Those are my intentions... to go along with my principles. I'm sure I've got others too, but this shit is harder than it looks. It really is! |
| In the midst of my weeding yesterday, I found a bush I thought I'd lost. The shrub, an oakleaf hydrangea that I lovingly planted last fall, became a favorite of the deer that frequent my garden. By December they had broken off most of the branches. By spring, I could scarcely tell where it had been. I heaved a sigh and told myself it wasn't meant to be. Yesterday, I was weeding the garden. It had an impressive stand of large weeds... the type that can hide an entire shrub. As I thinned things out I noticed the oak-leaf shaped foliage and much to my delight and amazement, I found that the hydrangea had emerged from the rootstock much like the phoenix from the ashes. I was thrilled to see it, and carefully weeded all around the the lovely mounding bush. It was all of maybe 26" to 30 " tall and about as wide. I didn't care that it was smaller than when I planted it. I didn't care that it probably wouldn't bloom this year. I was just so thrilled to see that it survived. I got to visiting with the neighbor and told him about the shrub. He and I started to device ways to protect it so the deer wouldn't trouble it over the winter. Gardening is all about little victories and I was both happy and tired when I hung it up for the day and went inside. Now, this morning I was up and ready to go outside and work in the garden. I was foraging for food in the kitchen and I happened to spot my husband outside working in the garden. Damn... I thought he was just walking the dog. I flew out the door and yelled down to him. He looked startled as he turned to wave up to me, but he couldn't hear what I was saying. I hurried down the steps of the deck and as I drew closer I felt relief. He was just mulching... no harm there. I was afraid he might have weeded out my... OHMIGOD!!!! That's when I spotted it... lying in the pile of weeds I saw the lovely oak-leaf shaped foliage. Yes he thought it was weird that I'd weeded all around the thing, and yes he'd thought about maybe asking what it was, but he was sure it was a weed and he wanted to surprise me by weeding and mulching the bed. I didn't want to make him feel too bad when his heart was clearly in the right place, I heaved a sigh and told myself it wasn't meant to be. Yep, gardening is all about these little disasters. Tony tried to make amends by watering and fertilizing the remaining stump. He did not dig up the roots... he isn't that thorough with his weeding. There is still some chance that the poor abused bush will once again come up from the roots. I guess time will tell. |
| Today I was going to complete my manifesto by publicly declaring my demands intentions. I'm gonna skip it though because (a) I've got something else on my brain and (b) I'm not clear on my intentions. ( Shocking! I know!) Yesterday evening I was over at my Mom's house and my brother was there with the wife and baby. While I was there, my brother came down with a binder full of my father's old school work. My father was an extremely educated man. He had a Doctorate in Veterinary Medicine, and later went back for a PhD in Microbiology when I was seven. I wasn't out of college very long before my father decided to go back to school... again. This time around he would pursue a Master's degree in counseling. It had nothing to do with career development. This was about personal development. At the time, he was in a job that was understimulating for him. He was bored and wanted a new challenge. My mother, who is a Social Worker, believes he went back to school because he couldn't stand that she knew more about something than he did. Whatever the reason, he earned a Master's in counseling. What my brother had found were all the neatly organized class notes and papers from his Master's program. One of the papers was titled something like "How my children became adults." It was written not long after my marriage, at the time I was expecting my daughter. Neither of my older brothers had married at that time. The paper talked about his military career and how it impacted our personalities and relationships over time. It was interesting to read it from his perspective. Some of the facts were just flat wrong, but that's perception for ya. We all have a tendency to rewrite history. Still, the message was surprisingly upbeat. Apparently Dad thought we were all pretty well adjusted. My brother was very pleased with the positive spin Dad put on our quirks and well... our shortcomings. What struck me most was the conclusion of the paper in which he said that my brothers and I were more critical and judgmental or each other than he or my mother would ever think to be. Hmmm... this from a man who once told me that my brother was "so incompetent he could fuck up a wet dream." (Dad had a colorful way with language.) Don't get me wrong. I dearly loved my father and miss him terribly. It was heart warming to read his words and feel his love... and his pride. He was proud of us. Clearly he was proud, and yet we always perceived him as critical... always felt like we fell short of his expectations. I wonder how his perceptions of us changed in the 10 years that followed, as we made our way in the world, and started our families. I wonder if he continued to view us as being so critical and judgmental or each other. I don't. One thing is for certain, we may have blown away the perception that we were well adjusted, but he remained proud of our successes and accepting of our shortcomings. |
| Since I still have a bunch of purple paper left over, I thought now might be a good time to start working on a manifesto. First, I needed to figure out what a manifesto is. I know that communists had one and well… the Uni-Bomber wrote one too. Admittedly, this might not put me in the best of company, but it turns out that the Declaration of Independence was also a manifesto. I guess you can’t really go wrong walking in the footsteps of the J-Man (aka Thomas Jefferson). In my typical half-assed effort at research, I checked out Wikipedia. Wikipedia contains the sum of all wisdom. It is the modern repository for our collective unconscious (check out Karl Jung on Wikipedia for more on that). So according to Wikipedia, “A manifesto is a public declaration of principles and intentions. Manifestos are often political in nature.” For starters, my manifesto will be of the less trendy apolitical variety. Okay, so now I need to make a declaration of principles. 1. Reciprocate. I’ve never been very good at the “Golden Rule.” Instead, I believe in doing onto others as they ARE doing unto me. I'll meet you kindness for kindness, and cheap shot for cheap shot. Yeah, I’ll make some allowances for you having a bad day here and there, but I’m only going to do that because you do it for me. If you pretend one thing while doing another, then I’m gone. Since I don't want to bully or battle anyone, I'm going to focus my time and energy on reciprocating the positive interactions. The rest can go to Hell. 2. Lighten up. Laughter is the key. I laugh a lot, and whenever possible, I’ll try to make someone else laugh. This is the exception to the reciprocity rule. I don’t take myself or my problems too seriously. When I meet others who do take themselves seriously, I will point out the humor or absurdity. Sometime this doesn’t make them laugh, but it usually amuses me, so it isn’t a total loss. 3. Lower the bar (so that it is easier to make it over said bar). There are more important things than being first, or the best, or the last one standing. Sometimes it is enough to clear the bar, and if I can’t clear it, I’m either going to walk away from it, or I’m going to lower it when no one's looking. Let them prattle on about how I’m only cheating myself, but I prefer to think of it as freeing myself to focus on the next goal. 4. Extend. By extending, I’m talking about benefiting others in some way. I have pets, kids, a husband and a job. All these things require me to move beyond total self absorption and self interest, and consider others and or the world around me. Even gardening involves taking care of something that’s not me. 5. Question. Questioning is the basis for learning. It is also the best defense against a dogged commitment to falsehood. Remember that we once believed the earth was the center of the universe… yep, and flat too. Given enough time, the experts almost always turn out to be wrong, so I can’t put a lot of stock in them. Belief is a double edged sword. It makes us blind to evidence that contradicts what we think is truth. Alright, that’s enough for tonight. Maybe tomorrow I’ll spell out my intentions <insert evil laughter here> |
| I was late getting home from work today. I was too busy rewriting my job description and reorganizing the department. The boss and I have been talking very candidly since he got back from vacation. He's been unusually good-humored and receptive to what I'm saying. I told him flat out that I do not like being a supervisor. I never wanted to do supervision. I suggested that instead of hiring someone to do the parts of my job that I no longer have time for, he ought to hire a new supervisor and free up my time to do the stuff I LIKED doing. This led to some discussion that was positive and productive... not at all what I am used to. A phone call from the HR director this afternoon made me think that this was closer to a reality than I'd imagined. She said that she was gonna need my input to write a job description. Well, my day was over and I shut down my computer, gathered my car keys and... just then the heavens opened up and rain started dumping down. I threw my keys back in the drawer and decided to wait out the rain. I started to think about the needs of the department and how some reorganization might address some of our current headaches. I wanted to sketch out the ideas so I grabbed a blank piece of paper and started to write out all the different positions, along with the supervisor and administrative duties and program oversight responsibilities. It all came together quite nicely, and since the boss man was still around I photocopied my work (the man loses things) and then gave him the original. "It's purple." Lavender actually... I wrote it on the back of a flier that was laying around my office. Not exactly a professional presentation, but I was just waiting for the rain to stop. We talked for awhile. The past year has been very bumpy. If I'd had any options, I would have quit a dozen times over. For the past couple months our mantra has been "...and it's only gonna get worse." I'm not sure were all this optimism is coming from, but it is just as contagious as the negativity was. We might still be stumbling around in the dark, but at least it feels like we're moving toward something. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
