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 |  Where am I going, and why am I in this handbasket? |
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Fair Warning: I've upped the rating on this blog. It is now set at GC. |
| Remember when I had my psychic reading? Well... one of the things she "saw" was me having to take someone to the emergency room. Well, I don't especially like having that idea hanging out there so I thought I'd hurry things along a little by buying a trampoline.  My children have wanted a trampoline for a long time now, and my husband was dead set against it. I, on the other hand, thought it would be a good way to get them outside and active. After much research I found what seems to be a rather safe trampoline and safety enclosure. I made my husband sit and watch the video clips demonstrating the superior safety of this system and eventually he relented. I placed my order online. The packages arrived today and my husband and I rather handily assembled the trampoline. Easy peasy. The enclosure is a trickier proposition, and we ran out of steam this evening. Tomorrow we'll get the net up, but in the meantime, we let the kids bounce around a bit with us spotting them nervously. They had a great time, and no one broke any bones. Today is my Birthday, and where I work, we get to take a holiday for our Birthday anytime during our Birthday week. I had wanted to take my holiday today, but because of all the mayhem at work, I'm going to wait until Friday and take a long weekend.  and maybe... when no one is looking... I'll go bounce on the trampoline! |
| Hope all the Moms out there are having a wonderful Mother's Day. My day was a good one, but I'm very worn out tonight. I've been gardening hard all weekend, and my body is weary and aching this evening. It is a good sort of tired though. This morning I went over to my Mother's for brunch. My brother, his wife and two kids came up from Virginia this weekend, my other brother came down from Scranton with his wife and baby, and my Mother's sister is visiting from Idaho. My mother has many siblings, but only has a relationship with the one sister. Every other year Mom flies out to Idaho, and every other year Helen flies in. They take all kinds of trips together, and after many road trips, they decided this year they were going to Jamaica. They'll be leaving tomorrow and I'm very jealous! A couple years back they took a road trip up to Cape Cod. My Aunt later complained to me "I don't know why your Mom couldn't just let people know we were sisters instead of telling everyone we were lesbians." Well... when in Rome... I borrowed Mom's Pick-up truck for the duration of the trip, and I'm planning to put it to good use with garden related chores. I've been working hard in my war against the dandelions, and now that I've made a dent in them, I need to MULCH. I've gotta say though, dandelions do seem to be the thing I grow best. My father would always tell me that I grew some of the biggest, healthiest dandelions he'd ever seen. It's my special talent. A couple years ago my husband and I were out pulling dandelions with my daughter. Katie was only about 8 or 9 at the time, and wasn't especially effective at pulling them up. Anyway, Tony was making many wise-ass comments about how we ought to go into business raising dandelion greens. "No," I told him. "These wouldn't be good for that. You have to pick them when they are young and tender. By the time they get big like this, they turn bitter." My daughter looked thoughtfully at the dandelions for a few beats and then looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I don't understand," she said. "What are they bitter about." I love my kids!  |
| My town is home to a small university. Off campus they recently opened a chicken place called... you guessed it... Cluck U. chicken. My boss and I, being exceedingly mature, are prone to laughing and giggling over the name. Ever since the sign went up, we've joked that when things get too bad at work, we are gonna go work at Cluck U. I knew it was gonna be "one of those days" when he walked into our meeting this morning and said "I need a new clucking job." Have I mentioned my job sucks? Yeah I know... I have. I missed some work last week while my son was sick, and while I was out, they restructured supervision in our office. When I got back to work, I found out that I was losing one of my very competent low maintenance caseworker, and inheriting a needy, neurotic whiner from one of the other sups. I've been a little cranky about it. I'd like to tell them all to "go cluck themselves." Someday... Ah, but today is Friday! Time to kick back and smell the lilacs.  Hope you all have wonderful weekends planned! |
| Today I had to sit through a training on facilitating meetings. As with most trainings we started off with introductions. We had to say our name, how many years we'd been working for the agency, what we hoped to get out of the training, and something no one in the room knows about us. Hmmm... Damn! It hit me then, as of May 12th, I'll have been working for the agency for TEN years. For the first four years, I was a case manager. After that I was promoted to "Special Projects Coordinator." (What they did not tell me at the time was that "Special Projects" was code for "Shit no one else wants to be bothered with."). After about three years ago they made me the intake supervisor, and then two years ago I became a Casework supervisor. Each promotion was still the same old job, just with additional responsibilities. TEN YEARS!!! No wonder I'm feeling burnt out. What do I hope to get out of the training? Well... a day out of the office for starters. Now... what can I say about myself that no one else knows? Sheesh, I can think of a lot of things that I DON'T want to share.  I told them that I write dirty limericks when I need to de-stress!  That wouldn't work with y'all though because you already know that about me, so... I started thinking... What could I tell my friends here in Blogville about myself that none of you know? Well, a list of five seemed in order. 1. I have a collection of flamingo lawn paraphernalia that I add to each year. Now, before you go thinking that you already knew this, let me tell you... the highlight of this collection is a chainsaw carving of a Pink Flamingo that my husband gave me for our 12th wedding anniversary! 2. I drive a 1997 Nissan Altima! Yep, my car predates the turn of the century. Very sad... a ten year old car to go with the ten year old job. 3. I've never made mashed potatoes in my life even though my children LOVE mashed potatoes. This is what they have a Grandma for. I realize this is very selfish of me, but I hate mashed potatoes! 4. I've never received a speeding ticket. The only ticket I ever got was back when I was 19 and hydroplaned on an on-ramp. I totaled my car when I smashed into a concrete barricade. Although I was the only car involved, I called the police to report the accident and ended up with a citation for "failure to control speed to avoid a collision." DUH! 5. I didn't learn to tie my shoes the "right way" until I was 14, and to this day I use the "two bunny ears" method. Okay folks, now it is your turn. Tell me some stuff I don't know about you! |
| I spent the day at home with my son. Unlike yesterday when he was droopy and lethargic, today his fever is down and his energy is coming back. Mostly that means he is driving me a little nutty. He is still not well, but he is better, and I'm glad for that. When Tony came home, I escaped out to the garden for awhile to enjoy the evening. Tony mowed the grass yesterday, it looked very tidy and felt like a plush carpet under my bare feet. I came to some realizations as I strolled along the garden beds. 1. I'm a lousy gardner. The state of my flower beds is truly shameful. I have patches that are almost entirely covered over in weeds this spring. Amending soil, weeding, and mulching are hard work, and I'm a rather lazy gardener. 2. I need to take responsibility for my own life and my own happiness. Well Duh! So why have I been abdicating responsibility? When did I settle into such a passive role of "going along for the ride?" In a weird way, this line of thinking all started with the damn weeds. Not having control of my garden suddenly made me aware that I have no control of my LIFE.  3. Unexpected surprises emerge from chaos. Now that we've established that I'm a lousy gardener, let me tell you... that lack of diligence sometimes pays off. in addition to the weeds, I get lots of volunteer seedlings popping up in the unmulched areas. This year I have little johnny-jump-ups jumping up everywhere along with bunches of forget-me-nots. Maybe the same holds true for life. Maybe the chaos leads to good surprises there too. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** my johnny-jump-ups ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** my forget-me-nots 4. iPods do not belong in the garden. Okay, when the neighbors are out yelling at kids and/or spouses, and dogs are barking, then I will reach for my iPod. On an evening like this though, nothing quiets the noise in my head like the songs of the birds, and the sounds of the wind in the trees and rushing water in the rain swollen stream. 5. Quiet is good. Once you quiet the noise in your head, you stop having so many pesky realizations and can focus on important stuff like pulling dandelions. |
| I just got back from Walmart and I decided to sit for a couple minutes to wait for the homicidal thoughts to ebb back into the darker recess of my mind. On a sunny Sunday afternoon, that place is the ninth circle of HELL, and yet, if it weren't for the ice cream that would have melted in the back of my car, I'd still be sitting in the parking lot. You see, I have a wicked oppositional streak to me, and there was this BITCH in a red convertible who really wanted my parking space. Now, I'd have gladly given it to her, but I had a car stopped in the lane immediately behind me, and I needed to wait to back out. Apparently the Bitch in the convertible never heard the laws of physics that tell us two objects can not occupy the same space at the same time. She sat there honking her horn at me and gesturing for me to back out of the spot. Like I said... if not for the ice cream, I'd have shut off the engine and used the time to balance my checkbook... file my nails... make some phone calls... whatever. When I finally had my chance to back out, she almost hit me in her haste to pull forward into the spot while continuing to gesture and such. I had a couple gestures I might have used to respond, but I can't do that to a woman with kids in her car regardless of her behavior. Many years back I read about research which demonstrated that drivers take longer to pull out of a parking space when they know there is a car waiting, and we go even slower when they HONK. For once, I actually looked this up, and found an article on the research. http://www.pop.psu.edu/searchable/press/may1297.htm The researchers theorized that this has to do with being territorial. Whatever the case, it turns out I've got lots of company out there. Now I'm back home with all kinds of tasty treats to try to tempt my son's failing appetite. He is still feverish and thinks that food tastes funny today. Hopefully some ice cream will soothe his sore throat, but I think it is unlikely that he'll be well enough to send to school tomorrow. |
| I'm feeling tired and very emotional tonight so I'm going to keep this brief. I spent a good chunk of my day today holding my new niece. She is a such a sweet little thing and I'm so pleased that she is home. My brother and his wife are typical first time parents with lots of questions and anxieties. The baby has very long fingers and her hands never stop moving. I had trouble taking pictures that did not show a blur hand movement in front of her face. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** In other news, my own baby is sick. He woke up hoarse with a bad cough, and a sore throat. Later in the day he started to feel feverish. I'm toping it runs its course because he is next to impossible to medicate. He just will NOT cooperate with taking medicine and so I dread every illness. Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. |
| Today my brother and sister-in-law were finally able to take their new baby home. She was released from the NICU early this morning. I'll be going up tomorrow to spend some time with them and get my fill of the baby. It promises to be a damp, chilly weekend. That is probably a good thing as it will force me to do all the indoor stuff I'm prone to ignoring when the sun shines. So many pretties coming up in the garden, and I want to be out there... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ...enjoying the spring bulbs. My mother called me at work today very upset. She'd just accidentally killed a rabbit leading me to believe there is a lot to this "genetics" stuff. She saw this big bunny in the garden and she tried to shoo it off, but it didn't move so she picked up the closest thing to her and threw it towards the bunny. Note that I said "towards" and not "at." Well, she hit the bunny, and the bunny... well, I guess it headed toward the light. My mother was so upset about it on the phone that I could hear her voice catching. She never meant to hit the poor thing. I assured her that she'd never managed to hit anything before in her life and that it could only be considered an act of God. She was going to bury the bunny and I advised her to dig a deep hole. You see, it turns out that it's been a bad week for rabbits. My friend Trish's daughter just lost her pet rabbit. Trish had to bury it, and digging a hole in our rocky soil is a lot of work. Apparently she settled for a rather shallow grave. The next day her daughter was rather traumatized to find the scattered remains of her pet rabbit. Trish is CONVINCED that it must have been coyotes. Now, I don't believe we've got a lot of coyotes in our little corner of Pennsylvania, but I'm thinking that if we did, there are enough live rabbits and cats and groundhogs around that they wouldn't bother with exhuming snowball. Okay, that's all a little bit sick, and I don't know why I'm blogging about it. Sadly I've just realized that this is the second time I've mentioned exhuming this week. So... with that I think I'll call it a night. Not surprisingly, when she went out to remove the rabbit, it was gone. Apparently she just stunned it. Think maybe I'll get mom some Ninja throwing stars for Christmas... or not. |
| If you remember, my Psychic told me that I have a good head for business, so here’s my thought. I can start a business selling limerick greeting cards. Limericks for all occasions! Nothing says “I’m so sorry for your loss,” like a well chosen limerick. Great idea, huh? So my friend Bonnie told me a couple days ago that she is infatuated with a new customer who’s been coming in to the bar on nights that she is working. She said she really likes him, but doesn’t know his name. We started to develop a list of questions that Bonnie should ask any guy she’s interested in (based on her past dating experience): 1. Well it’s obvious! Number one has to be “What’s your name?” Timing is important though, and this question should be asked early on. Asking it on the sixth or seventh meeting is a little awkward, but that’s still better than having to pop the question after waking up in what’s-his-name’s arms. 2. “Are you married?” Again, this is a no-brainer. 3. “Are you engaged or in a serious relationship.” Ahhh… experience is a cruel teacher. 4. “Is anyone currently expecting your child?” Turns out that even if you don’t get a hit on numbers 2 or 3, this question still needs to be asked, AND if you are smart, it’ll be a deal breaker. 5. “Have you ever been convicted of a felony?” Okay, so that’s never been an issue with any of the guys she dated, but it never hurts to ask. When I talked to Bonnie this morning, she still did not know his name, but we’ve decided to call him “Steve” for now… just for our own convenience. Turns out that over the course of last evening Bonnie managed to make comments to Steve that gave the general impression that she is a lesbian. There are reasons that Bonnie is still single. Well Bonnie made her hiring choice and needless to say it won’t be the Cemetery manager. I’ve been sworn to secrecy about who is getting the job until after the notification letters go out. Really though, if I WERE going to spread gossip around the office, I think I’d have to go with the Lesbian thing. What else? Let’s see… When I got home from work yesterday, my husband informed me that he’d signed us up for a lawn service and I’m NOT happy about it. I don’t trust people spreading herbicides anywhere near my flower beds. Also, I garden organically and I hate the idea of having a treated lawn, and… and… half the lawn gets burned out from dog pee each summer and the other half gets riddled with holes from the dog digging. Bottom line though is that it bugs me that I wasn’t consulted!  *Taking off my shoe, I throw it violently at -- of all things -- my computer monitor. Fortunately, I was wearing flip-flops so it bounced benignly to the desk.* The temptation is there to call the nice lawn service people and explain to them that my husband is just not right in the head and really shouldn’t be signing anything that might be legally binding. Do you think they would buy that? It isn’t entirely a lie. I think they live for people like my husband. He has no resistance to sales pressure. He even agreed to pay extra for Grub treatment because they managed to convince him that the dead patch of grass on the front slope was a sign of grubs. In reality, it is a sign of us being too lazy to drag the house all the way around from the back to water when we tried to start grass seed a couple summers ago. My only consolation is that HE will be the one mowing twice a week after they fertilize the hell out of the lawn. I’d better get off the subject before I get the urge to go digging in the closet for the spike heeled sling back. Tonight is softball. If the game drags out, I won’t have time for blogging this evening, so I decided I’d better get my entry written over my lunch hour. Hopefully it won’t be one of those games when I just sit there giving thanks for the ten run rule. Have a good one! |
| Today I sat in on an interview for a new manager position in the Early Intervention (EI) Department. My friend Bonnie is the EI Coordinator, and asked me to join the panel. I’m glad she did because the interviewee was a hoot. We interviewed a gal named Tanya, who has apparently worked for our agency for 10 months. I guess I don’t socialize enough with the other departments because I can’t recall ever seeing her around before. Tanya interviewed very well. We were talking about her past experience, and she’s had quite a bit. Of all things, she used to be a manager of a cemetery. Well, Cemetery Manager is not something I see a lot on resumes, so I was intrigued. As it turns out, the job wasn’t as glamorous as it sounded. It mostly involved supervising the sales people and coordinating with funeral homes. I was a little let down, but then, it really wasn’t about me. Anyway, Bonnie had developed questions and a rating scale to try to make the interviewing field as level as possible. One of the questions asked “Have you ever had to deal with a significant customer service problem? How did you handle it, and what was the outcome?” I asked the question and Tanya thought for a moment. Tanya: “I can’t think of any here…” Bonnie: “Oh, it could be anything. It doesn’t have to be this job.” Tanya: “We had a lot of them when I worked at the cemetery.” Me: “Really? I wouldn’t have thought since… well… your customers were already dead.” Tanya: “Sometimes there’d already be someone buried in their plot.” Me: “You’re kidding?” Bonnie: “Did it happen a lot?” Tanya: “Often enough. The families get pretty upset too especially since, well… it’s already a difficult time for them.” Bonnie: “I imagine. So… what would you do then? Did you have to dig the other person up.” Tanya: “Exhume them? Oh, no!” she said looking truly horrified. “We’d never do that.” Me: “Do you do like the airlines and offer an upgrade? Bump ‘em up to first class?” (Now, when I said this, I was JOKING) Tanya: “That’s exactly what we’d do! We’d offer a better plot… maybe with a view, or we’d upgrade the grave marker or throw in a bench.” (The dead really appreciate a nice view of the sun going down over the lake). Me: Bonnie: “A lot of time families want to be buried near each other. I think I’d be pretty upset if I ended up on the other side of the cemetery from my family. Doesn’t seem like a bench would really make up for that…” Me: “You wouldn't be upset. You’d be dead.” Bonnie: “Well my family would be upset.” Me: “Not if they’re dead too.” Bonnie: “I knew someone who made all his funeral arrangements and planned everything out… even the party. When he died, the family didn’t have to do anything except show up. It really took a lot of stress off of them.” Tanya: “Preplanning.” She said nodding emphatically. “It is a good way to go.” Leaning toward Bonnie she added “If you are interested I could probably still get a commission.” (Notice how she didn’t offer that she could still get a discount?)About that time, we remembered that we were in the middle of a job interview. Too bad Bonnie isn’t going to hire her. In spite of my whole hearted endorsement, and Bonnie’s “impartial” rating system, it looks like she’s gonna pass Tanya over because she’s only been with the agency for 10 months |
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