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June, 1997

You're like a cigarette
And I know I've been addicted before
Cause when I see you or I think of you
You know that I just want more

I know you're bad and you're no good for me
And I hate you just the same
But maybe the negativity
Is half the fun of the game

I can't tell the difference
Between lust and love anymore
And maybe I'm just lonely
And you are such a whore

And maybe I'm crazy or maybe I'm happy
But you never knew and I don't think you care
And maybe it's over
And maybe I'm scared
But as long as I keep talking
And as long as I keep lying
Maybe this will be over soon

And that is why I didn't call
And that is why I didn't call you
And that is why no one was home
And that is why I didn't pick up the telephone

So get out of my head and get out of my past
Cause that's where I live
And we know we can't live together
You're such a slob
You don't like my clothes on the floor
But I'm comfortable hating you
Cause I've done it before

And tonight will be better
You'll love me once more
Till I wake up in the morning
And find you with a whore
And I know I could do better
But it's not the same
As that feeling I get
When you drive me insane

You're so full of promises
And so full of threats
You seem to control me with such empty hits
And it hurt when you called
And you called me collect
But I felt better you felt the same neglect

As you gave me
All those years
They all hated me
And I still feel the tears

I don't know why I love you so much
I don't know why I miss your soft gentle touch
I don't know why I even write it all down
Just another hopeless dreamer
Trying not to be the clown

And that it why I didn't call
That is why I didn't call you
And that is why no one was home
And that is why I didn't pick up the telephone

I'm not the same girl
As I was when I was with you
No, now I'm happy
Except when I think about you

And when I said I'd love you forever
It's not that I lied but the confusion is clever
The only one I'm lying to is everyone but me
When I said "I don't need you"
I need you desperately

And cause night after night I torture myself
By reading you old letters
I keep your picture on the shelf
Cause I keep dreaming of that one faithful day
When you will come and wipe all my fears away

But you'd never think of that
You've got too much to do
And I'd prob'ly be to angry
At all the shit you put me through

I'd turn back into that whore
That you left me to be
And I'd regress instantly

Just in your prescence
Not in your eyes
Cause when it's a bright day
You see nothing but grey skys

Maybe your not the one
But you're very pretty
Your additude sucks
And your temper is shitty.

And I keep passing
Now I'm moving on
And you are just a melody
Of yet another song

But you only care about one little thing
It's a big fat wallet full of happy green
And maybe I'll run or maybe I'll cry
But at least I can speak
And I don't have to try

I don't know
What went wrong
But I've been dwelling on the past
Just a little too long

I don't know why I love you so much
And I don't know why I miss your soft gentle touch
I don't know why I even write it all down
I don't know why I can't stand when your around

And that is why I didn't call
And that is why I didn't call you
And that is why no one was home
And that is why I didn't answer the telephone

I can't seem to remember
Everything that I regret
But it's burning inside
Like a cheap cigarette



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