How it feels to be guilty

Chapter 1: Times I Feel


Everyone can relate to feeling guilty about something. There's no need to be embarrassed about it. Last night, I felt guilty about the way I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I didn't like him anymore that I liked my ex, and that we needed to break up. We had already broken up a few weeks earlier, but I still felt bad. Thirty minutes after my shower, I felt light-headed and sick to my stomach because I remembered the conversation. I felt guilty, but I knew that breaking up with someone for a good reason was the right thing to do.


Today, I felt guilty that my grandparents spent so much money on me and my brother during our vacation in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We visited many places and did many activities, including the Soo Locks in Sault Ste. Marie, the Botanical Gardens in DeTour Village, Taquaminom Falls in Paradise, and stayed in Cedarville. The cabins cost almost $2,000, and my grandparents spent almost $300 a day on admission tickets, boat fees, food, snacks, souvenirs, and more. Although my grandparents said it was fine, I apologized many times and still felt guilty.

Sometimes, I feel guilty about simple things. For example, I ditched my brother one night and slept on the couch because I couldn't sleep in a bed that wasn't mine. I felt bad about it, but I just couldn't sleep on the bed.

As I write this, I feel guilty wondering if you are laughing at me or if you care or understand my feelings. I used to stay up late at night wondering if people cared about me, if they knew me, if they understood me.