It starts off pretty well. Of course, I think you could vary the dialogue portions a bit (they kept seeming a bit redundant with the same lengths and words used). The concept of "kids going to a haunted place on a dare", while used often in films and books, is still a great plot. Each person that writes something along those lines usually adds some cool twist, and I like where you took it. When you were describing the scene when Johnny and Becky are taken and screaming, I could really see through Kevin's eyes and started feeling the anxiety he felt. So props to you for that!
The part where Kevin runs away and just gives up on them...I could kind of believe it and kind of not. I think if a little more time was spent on that part it would've showed more of his motivation to just run away. The end scenes, again, I thought needed to be expanded a bit; they felt somewhat rushed.
Overall, it was an interesting story with a cool sort of twist; while we've all seen it before, you put a unique spin on things!
I personally am a grammar-lover, and reading this article was like reading "Harry Potter". It was very informative and useful, as well as slightly satirical. I will say I did catch at least one little grammar error with a "your" v. "you're" misuse in the first actual section, though :P My favorite part was reading through all of the comparisons of commonly misused words, especially the "I before E except after C, or when they sound like A as in neighbor and weigh."
Overall, I thought it was an excellent article! I agree and oft see several of these mistakes on a daily basis, and being the grammar nazi that I am...well...you can imagine! Keep writing these articles! :D
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