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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Beholden Author Icon I adore this piece. With your permission I am planning on printing it out to take with me to my weekly writing group. We have endless discussions on sentence structure, including length. I laughed out loud as I read your piece (poem) or whatever you’d like to call it. It proves one can write a sentence as long as one likes so long as it is punctuated correctly. I’m the first to admit my commas are sprinkled throughout my work without angst. Reading out loud is my way of judging where a comma should or ought to be. I love your way of writing most things actually and have been a ‘fan’ for a while. Thank you for sharing this piece, maybe you should put it out there again. The trouble with items once they have settled in to a portfolio they get lost in the ether unless one is inspired to seek out a piece. Usually it’s just luck when one falls over a gem like this.
Cheers Sue


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Review of Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
The thing I really loved about this piece is the honesty. You have expressed, in such a unique way, the struggles throughout the life of whoever it is you are writing about. It may be yourself, I don’t know. It reminds me of my granddaughter’s difficult journey to find happiness. Unfortunately she’s not there yet, but where there is life there is hope.

The first verse was the most sad. I hate to think of any three year old experiencing mistrust and betrayal.
The fourth verse is heartbreaking although you didn’t spell it out it sounded to me like a cry for help from this fourteen year old, well I hope that’s all it was and not a genuine attempt.
At seventeen she decided to chase down those monsters and face them with a battle cry.
At last, in the ultimate verse, I could breathe, she found happiness, peace and love.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful, insightful piece. It was beautifully written.
Keep on writing.


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Review of Name of Names  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Mastiff Author Icon As a fellow member of I write 2020 I’m reviewing this piece ‘Name of Names.’
The story kept me interested from the beginning until the end. I’m telling you this because the walking dead and fan fiction is not something I would normally attempt to read. This story however may have changed my mind a little.
The main character is well described from the moment we meet him as a dependent youth escaping from an invasion along side his father. When he realises he is alone is when he begins to grow as a man.

The world in which the story is set is becoming more of a reality as we in 2020 begin to view our fellow human beings as maybe a source of disease and to be avoided. Of course this is nothing like that, as the Zombies or the Undead’s sole aim is to destroy any living human being they come across.
You kept the tension throughout the story which covers several years. The boy grows into a man who has to be forever vigilant.
The ending came as a little light relief when his rescuers renamed him Jesus because of his looks.

I did wonder if this story had been taken from a previously written story. You mentioned that the narrator’s foster father was advising the younger man what to pack for their great escape. What was the reason to make the character a foster father when afterwards you called him Dad and my father? He’d obviously been a big part of the boy’s life as it was he who’d taught him to fight and survive. I would drop the foster-father unless you want to explain what had happened to his real dad.

As more of a romantic I’m hoping that one of those female rescuers becomes his lifelong love? No? Okay wrong genre😩
Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the read.
Cheers Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Jeff Author Icon, thank you for writing such unsettling story, you managed to keep me awake all night.😱
I see this is an old story of yours but believe me it still packs a punch. The moment when the phone began ringing under the sheet of the body on the gurney made my heart leap. The fact it was her husband who had done the shooting was bad enough but when the last two bodies turned out to be her kids was pretty shocking. I read the story to my husband who always, without fail, guesses the twist in stories but even he said he hadn’t seen that coming. So well done on that score.
The only thing that made me doubt the scenario was Carmen working solo. Once she’d received the news of six bodies coming to the morgue all at once she would had needed to call in reinforcements. However that’s nit-picking and for her to be alone worked better for the shock factor.
The last line worked well too in a macabre way. Her family, who missed her so much when she worked such long hours joined her there. Did her husband guess it would be his wife who would have to face this scenario. If so this just adds to the horror.
To say I enjoyed it wouldn’t be true but I certainly will remember it and I guess that’s the true test of a well written story.


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for entry "Summer" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon
I read your poem ‘summer’ as part of I Write 2020. It’s apt I should happen to read this on the Summer Solstice day in the Northern hemisphere. Today we are experiencing the Winter Solstice of course here in Australia.
I actually prefer winter to summer and as I read your poem it brought back memories of the extremely hot summer we endured 2019/20. ‘The short night’s sweltering slumber’ made me compare to the good nights sleep I had last night to the many sleepless ones I have in the summer months. Although in your lovely words you mentioned the cooling rain which we were so short of. I saw the selection of words you had to choose from and the word Languorous jumped out at me. That’s such a lovely word and one which I would have had to use!
Thank you for sharing this poem. It’s lovely.


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Review of What's in a Name?  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Odessa Molinari Author Icon thanks for sharing this flash fiction story. It actually made me smile. I remember the singer Engelbert Humperdinck from years ago. We lived in the UK then and my mother-in-law was a huge fan of his.
Years later when we lived in Australia, as did my husband’s mother, he toured the country. Mother was a very old lady by this time but she wanted to go and see him play live. We took her and she was very excited. When he eventually came out on the stage, she whispered “ Who’s that old man?” She’d forgotten he had aged too!
Thanks for giving me that memory. Of course he had taken that name from Engelbert Humperdinck the German composer. His real name was Arnold Dorsey I think.
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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello ruwth Author Icon Thank you for sharing your poem in the I write 2020 Challenge.
I always enjoy reading your work and this piece is no exception. There is a world of truth in these words and it isn’t until one personally experiences some of these changes that happen throughout, our lives one can truly appreciate the truth.
I’ve experienced many of these changes and still have a few to go, but no doubt if I’m lucky then these too I’ll adjust in time.
Thanks again for sharing. I hope you did well in the Contest.
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for entry "Road Forks" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I’m reviewing this as part of I write 2020 and also as a fellow contributor in the 30 day blogging challenge.
To leave your dream job in search of better pay and conditions was certainly an understandable one. You couldn’t see anything changing or improving in the near future. Your choice to go for a start up company was risky though and one that must have given you a few sleepless nights. Start ups are notoriously fragile, you obviously felt you had no choice as every day at Marvel was making you more frustrated. Therefore I think the choice was made for you, for your own mental and physical health the need to remove yourself from the stress was the best plan.
Ironically your previous employers realised your value to their company and you were invited back, this time at the pay you’d asked for previously.
It was probably worth the inevitable worry and concern you no doubt experienced to be asked to return.
My fork in the road was to decide whether to leave our country of birth. We had family, two thriving businesses and yet my husband wasn’t happy in England. So we took a huge leap of faith, sold up everything we owned and emigrated to Australia where we knew no one. That was 48 years ago and on reflection we made the right decision.
Check out Robert Waltz’s blog on the prompt. He has an interesting theory which I’m not sure I subscribe to. He seems to think we have no say in our decisions. They are made for us.
Anyway I really enjoyed reading about your dilemma and how it all turned out.


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for entry "Cooking Submissive" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I enjoyed reading about your culinary skills. Even the best of cooks have failures in the kitchen and it sounds as if you’re a good a cook as most of us. Seasoning usually refers simply to salt and pepper. Adding herbs must be called something else, these are always in the main body of the recipe. Salt is such a personal taste. I never add extra salt at the table whereas my daughter always adds salt to everything before even tasting and eating, which is a strange habit. I always give her the warning about high blood pressure and heart attacks and too much salt but to no avail.
What a lovely tradition to make a cake for someone every year. It’s amazing you only need to do something a couple of times and before you know it you’re locked into it.
It reminds me of buying an ornament of an elephant whilst travelling in a India and before I knew it everyone bought me elephants as presents, as apparently I COLLECT them!
The cakes you have made over the years all sound delicious but the fact you can remember them all impresses me the most.
I’ve made what seems like thousands of birthday in my life. The job always fell to me. That’s certainly not because I’m a master baker by any means. It’s just that no one else wanted the job and let’s face it children don’t care what it looks like so long it has candles and tastes good.
Thanks for sharing your kitchen experiences.
Cheers Sue
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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi 💙 Carly: poems & novel Author Icon I’m reviewing your story "Conflict's Brewing" Open in new Window. as part of ‘I write 2020’ and also as a fellow classmate in ‘HSP’
I really liked the conflict between your two lovers that you have introduced this week. You certainly filled the brief of week three. How will they manage conflict? What are their different styles? Is their relationship strong enough?
It’s always builds tension when the reader knows the intentions of a character before the character who is most affected. These two, Ryan and Arlynn are both strong and interesting with distinctive personalities. I’m looking forward to reading more of their relationship as they move forward.
Cheers Sue
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Review of magpies  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Charlie Carrol Author Icon I saw your request on “Please Review” and decided to check it out.

Thank you for sharing your story. "magpies" Open in new Window.I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
This really well written story took me to a place I wasn’t prepared for. I hadn’t before heard of the superstition of saluting the magpie to ward off bad luck. Maybe it’s just one pertaining to the Navy?



*StarfishB*Plot
The story is about a boy’s confusion after the death of his father and consequent despair of his mother. He tries to make sense of his new reality.
There are some really good lines such as: She moves her mouth. Maybe it was a smile in another life and ...its beady eyes boring a hole into my soul


*StarfishB* Characters
The child is the narrator of this story. We are privy to his thoughts and confusion. The mother seems to be stuck in her grief after the death of her husband and the boy’s father. We get the impression she is mentally unwell but really have no suspicion she may have had a hand in his death.



*StarfishB*Climax
The climax was actually shocking. The boy decides to face his fears of magpies and stumbles on the remains of his father. The reader is left feeling fearful for the child as he seeks an explanation. The last line gave me shivers.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for requesting a review, I look forward to reading more of your writing. Thanks for sharing.





Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


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Review of Room  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Odessa Molinari Author Icon I am reviewing this story as part of I Write 2020.

Thank you for sharing your story. "Room" Open in new Window.I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
I liked the idea of the story. Someone alone in a room trying desperately to defuse an explosive devise.



*StarfishB*Plot
The name of this person is undisclosed to the reader. The circumstances as to how he/she found themselves in the predicament weren’t described but the story comprises of them trying to save their lives in a limited time to defuse the bomb. The ending wasn’t what they’d set out to achieve unfortunately.


*StarfishB* Characters
There is just the one character beside a muffled would be assistant. As I mentioned previously this character is difficult if not impossible to describe.



*StarfishB*Climax
The whole aim of the story is to lead the reader on the journey toward the climax with the counting down of the seconds remaining before the inevitable explosion.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
I liked the concept of the story. This could have successfully been expanded. I needed to know more. Who was the would be bomb defuser? How much damage would the explosion cause? The main character was no expert by any means so why didn’t the guy from bomb disposal enter the room and do the job?
In the first paragraph you wrote:I entered the room with my gun drawn. The next sentence starts: It was empty.. This made me at first thing that the gun was empty. the room was empty reads better.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing the story, I hope you did well in the Screams contest.





Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


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Review of What I Am  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this piece of yours. I liked it very much. Did you write as a rap song?

Well done, you have a great insight into yourself, inside and out.

Cheers Sue
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Review of Pale October  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Leahpatra Author Icon I’m reviewing this story as part of an Anniversary Review as I noticed you were celebrating four years with WdC. Congratulations.
I loved this sweet story. A boy who thinks he’s special and cool, condescends to ring a girl for a date. He just needs someone to take to the Hallowe’en dance.

The dialogue flowed quite naturally during the phone call. The ending was funny as he was bowled over by Morisha’s good looks.

My suggestions are to make the story easier to read, the second paragraph particularly, would be to start a separate line every time a new speaker says something. I found it difficult to follow the conversation as it was written.

ante meridiem should read ante meridian. she was quit pleased quite.
she was a beauty. And... she was a beauty and...

Thank you for sharing this story.

Reviewed by Sumojo Author Icon
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of Foster Parenting  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Puditat Author Icon This is an anniversary review as I noticed you were celebrating many years as a member of WdC. Congratulations.
I loved reading this piece showcasing a little of the experiences you have had whilst being a foster carer.
I know you and your husband are the special people this world needs more of.
I know you don’t do it for the accolades, parenting is a difficult task at the best of times, no one gives out prizes for it. However to open your home and hearts for children in need is something not everyone can do.
I’m absolutely sure your reward will be when those children are grown and appreciate what you did for them.
Children are honest and when they feel safe and secure they do give out the gift of love and smiles. I know you get plenty of those too.
Thank you so much for writing about this experience of yours. I so enjoyed reading it.

Reviewed by Sumojo Author Icon


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Review of Accidental Date  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello bas Author Icon

Thank you for sharing your story. "Accidental Date" Open in new Window.I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
For a short flash fiction story you managed to uncover a complex situation of a boy afraid of his family’s reaction if they discovered his sexuality.




*StarfishB*Plot
Two friends are discussing an event where one of them had ‘accidentally’ revealed another friend’s secret in front of his family.



*StarfishB* Characters
Kamal and Sudheer are the two friends of Dheerraj. Kamal is perfectly aware of the trouble he may cause his friend
Dheeraj. He knew he was actually doing his friend a favour. Dheeraj’s family were a traditional Indian family, homosexuality was more than likely frowned upon. He would have never found the bravery to come out to his family and Kamal knew that.



*StarfishB*Climax
A waiting game to see what trouble dropping the bomb into the family had caused.
It seems as if Dheeraj wasn’t too angry with his friend, who had definite plans for the two of them in the future.


*StarfishB*Suggestions
The only grammar errors were maybe(not may be and let’s(not lets}



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing this well written story, I enjoyed reading it.


Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket


Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


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Review of My Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Joseph
Can I be one of the first to welcome you to WdC? You will find great feedback here and any help you require you need only ask.

This piece is a cry from the heart. A true outpouring of your feelings, although you feel they are not reciprocated which may or may not be true.

Any girl would be touched to be the recipient of such love as you feel for Lindsay. The reader is made aware of your passion even if Lindsay may not feel the same to you Joseph.

For such a short piece of writing you have used the word only six times, which is a little repetitive.
You wrote whether the distance between us five minutes...etc You are speaking of time not distance, so it should read whether the time which separates us is five minutes .. etc
When writing numbers in prose it always flows better to write the number instead of the figure. (Five rather than 5)

When you imagine Lindsay speaking you could put her dialogue in speech marks, e.g. c:violet} You will never say “I love you Joseph” as you did in the last line.

Thanks for sharing your love letter. Lindsay is a lucky girl.


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Review of 53 Word Story  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Melisscious Author Icon thank you for sharing your 53 word story
To write a story using so few words is a difficult task. You need to have a beginning, middle and an end. This you have managed quite well.
The premise of the story tells of a storm causing untold damage to the earth. You evoked a vision of a soaked earth, undermining buildings and the roots of great trees in the forest.
Given the constraints placed upon the story by the rules you did a great job. Well done.
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Review of life in my eyes  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi there Sandi-Lou, let me welcome you to WdC. This is a place where you can be sure you will receive help with your writing.

I agree with you, writing your feelings down is therapeutic. I hope you continue to write every day and share with others here.

Reading your piece, “Life in my eyes” I could sense the urgency you were feeling, the need to get down in words what you were experiencing, as quickly as possible.

The words run on, it feels as if you barely take a breath.
I’m not here to criticise but to help you write in a more calm way, by doing this it will slow down your thoughts too, as you think about sentence structure, spelling and grammar.

You obviously have a great way with words, people should be able to read them so as to help them understand the turmoil you’re experiencing at times.

Try not to let your writing run on. One sentence running into the other without punctuation can make reading your words difficult and what you’re trying to convey hard to grasp.Take your time to finish a sentence before starting another. Always start a new sentence with a capital letter.

Maybe now you’ve put down your feelings and expressed how you sometimes experience despair, try to write the piece again, taking your time.

I hope by doing this it will help you see things clearer, get a better perspective on your life. I’m sure you are a great mother and daughter. We all do the best we can and don’t set out to hurt or disappoint the ones we love. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

Sue Frog in a Hanging Basket
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


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Review of Hello Old Friend  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello SomaSilver Author Icon

Thank you for sharing your story. "Hello Old Friend" Open in new Window. I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
Firstly I have to confess I know little about poetry, it’s forms and structures, rhymes and rhythms, so therefore I won’t comment on whether this piece is a well written piece of poetry or not.

My first impression was that this piece was written by someone with an intimate knowledge of the mental illness Bipolar.

I was drawn to the piece because of the subject matter, even though it wasn’t disclosed until the end, the words portrayed an ongoing struggle with something or someone.

It was as if you wrote this to help you understand your nemesis, you were having a conversation with him throughout the piece and it is written from the heart.

If I might disclose a personal interest, I have a Granddaughter who suffers with it too, and by reading the piece it has made me appreciate even more the fight to survive.

There are many words and phrases which I particularly liked such as how can I escape when there is no door for instance.

I liked the reference to the roller coaster ride, the highs and lows, the mania to depression.




*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for sharing this poem, I found much of it enlightening.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Welcome Home  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello rihazlette

Thank you for sharing your story."Welcome Home" Open in new Window. I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
My first impression was that this was written by someone who’d experienced the camaraderie of belonging to a group of like minded people. Either a sporting team or in the military.

The story revolves around the end of a season, or of an era. A party is held as a way of celebration. The group of people involved are reluctant for this time to end as it means they have to move on with the next stage of their lives. A time when they have to accept the responsibilities of adulthood.

Photographs are taken as the people involved try to capture the moment forever.
However this is where you lost me I’m afraid. The photograph appears in the newspaper, but there are people in the photograph long deceased. No one it seems has sent the photo to the newspaper or has knowledge of how it and the names of the long since dead have got there.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thanks for sharing this story, I’d love to get some feedback about my comments as I’m sure it’s just my failure to grasp the hidden nuances.



Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review of The Umbrella  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello James Heyward Author Icon

Thank you for sharing your story. "The Umbrella" Open in new Window. I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
The opening paragraph hooked me in, I needed to read more. It showed the uncertainty of how any of us may die. The idea of death being likened to an abattoir and the harbinger of death either a butcher or insane is chilling.




*StarfishB*Plot
None of can be sure we will ever see a loved one again as we farewell them. A dreadful thought. If the unthinkable happened as in this story we would inevitably recall the last words spoken. ‘If only’ phrases would come to mind. The narrator in this story wishes he had not asked his cousin to deviate from his original plan or he wished he’d taken the offered umbrella. Maybe even a slight change of plan could, or would, have saved the life of the cousin.
After Pete is killed by a random guy, his spirit stays anchored to the living world. He is lost, he doesn’t know that he’s dead but wanders, perhaps forever, contacting Tom by phone, occasionally words make their way across the ether and it’s those words which make Tom so bereft as he imagines his cousin wandering in the rain, with holes in his shoes.




*StarfishB* Characters
The character Pete was well drawn, an amiable sort of young man, someone unwilling to cause a fuss and who goes along with suggestions. The narrator Tom is close to his cousin Pete, it sounds as if they came from a loving close family. It is this closeness which causes Tom to feel so much guilt for the death of Pete.



*StarfishB*Climax
The ending is unsettling as the reader realises Pete will never find peace and his spirit is destined to wander forever in limbo.



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thanks for sharing this well written story,






Reviewed by Sumojo




Frog in a Hanging Basket

Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of New Clothes  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello rihazlett

Thank you for sharing your story. "New Clothes" Open in new Window.I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
Well, my first impression was, that as this is a contest I also entered, yours is better than mine!
I loved the alternative view you took on the prompt. Clever!
It made me laugh, I could ‘see’ the ‘New Clothes’ they were described perfectly, right down to those gorgeous shoes.



*StarfishB*Plot
The premise of the story was that of a naked man doing his best to convince a policeman he was wearing clothes, despite his obvious naked stage.



*StarfishB* Characters
The two characters were both great. The driver, maybe slightly inebriated? The policeman going along with the excuse, even down to suggesting that such a garment may suit him too.The conversation flowed beautifully, the tone set by the Emperor was suitably disdainful of this upstart who dared suggest he was wearing no clothes.



*StarfishB*Climax
Alas the driver was unable to get out of being arrested and forced to step from his carriage into an everyday cop car!



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thank you for entering the contest, good luck. I really enjoyed reading the story, thank you for sharing.




Reviewed by Sumojo



Frog in a Hanging Basket

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
349
349
Review of I Write In 2020  Open in new Window.
for entry "Angels Linger" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello 💙 Carly: poems & novel Author Icon

Thank you for sharing your poem "I Write In 2020" Open in new Window. I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful

I’m reviewing this poem for ‘I write 2020’. I have no skills as a judge of poetry and rarely try my hand at the art. I learned a little about the different types of poetry when I was being tutored by Hannah as part of joining the ‘Rockin’ Reviewers’, and was blown away by the complexities.




*StarfishB*First Impressions
My first impression was that such a short piece will be difficult to give an in-depth review on. Then I decided I needed more information regarding the Lady Slipper genre, so I did, what else? Googled it!
Now I understand what you had set out to achieve, an internal rhyme within each line. This you did successfully, so well done.
The last line designed to leave the reader questioning. Well, it did that, now I want to know the reason for the chaos and loss🤔



*StarfishB*Parting Comments
Thanks for sharing and increasing my minimal poetry knowledge.





Reviewed by Sumojo

Frog in a Hanging Basket


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
350
350
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon

Thank you for sharing your poem "New Year's Day in Christmas Town" Open in new Window.I hope you find my comments helpful


These comments are just one person’s opinion and are given in the hope you find something useful





*StarfishB*First Impressions
Although as I’ve previously mentioned poetry is not my forte and feel unqualified to critique. I’m reviewing this poem as part of ‘I write 2020’ and it made me smile. Especially the last line as Mrs Clause sits contemplating her future as she sits all alone playing Solitaire! I’ve never heard the expression ‘Wolf Moon’ before, I’m sure there is such a thing it’s just my ignorance.
I loved the line about the Jolly old elf checking out his selfies, it brings together the ancient and the modern beautifully.


*StarfishB*Parting Comments
I liked the Tercet form of poetry, it suits this poem very well, it has a lighthearted rhythm to it when read aloud.
Thank you for sharing and increasing my knowledge of the art form.



Reviewed by Sumojo

Frog in a Hanging Basket


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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