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808 Public Reviews Given
810 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, this is an interesting article. It’s refreshing to hear someone coming out in favour of social media. I always like to hear or read the views of younger people. Of course it’s what you know, it’s your reality so how could you understand the detractors?
Yet as an eighty year old who brought up a family when only tv was the entertainment available. At a time when phone calls had to be taken in the middle of the family room on the only land line available then of course I obviously have differing views.
My adult children never felt deprived, we spent time speaking to the family, not closing themselves away in their rooms on their devices. They had no bullying following them home with their phones. Slept well with no calls and pings keeping them awake. They went out with groups of friends and actually talked without checking their social media every few minutes. This was their reality and I’m so pleased it was.


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for entry "Stay True to Yourself" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello again, you’re being a very prolific writer. You’re amazing.
I checked the prompt for this poem it certainly fits.

I know it is about an owl giving advice, and great advice it is too. Know yourself, know what you’re capable of and be aware of the pitfalls.
This wise old owl knows what he’s talking about Best pay heed.
Thank you for yet another charming poem.
Sue


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Review of The Sea  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Ember, welcome to WdC. I see you haven’t yet completed your biography. That’s disappointing as I always like to check out to see whom I’m reviewing or talking to.

I haven’t yet read anything else you’ve written but I see you like poetry.
Your genre for this poem is children. I’m unsure if a child would understand or enjoy this poem though. The first line: The sea is wet and blue is certainly a simple line and I thought this was going to be a rhyming poem, as all children love the rhythm and flow of rhyming words. I was a little disappointed to find it was free verse which usually children don’t appreciate, unless of course it’s accompanied by brilliant illustrations.
The last four lines seem to me to be seperate from the beginning, and if I’m correct are about people who have died at sea? I feel you strayed a little from what you originally intended.
Anyway as I said before it’s always lovely to have new writers here at WdC. This is the place where you’ll receive help to improve if you ask for it.
Keep on writing.
Sue


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Review of THE MIDNIGHT HOUR  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, I saw your story on Read and Review. It’s a lyrical, sweet story written for children and I’m sure any child would love it to be read to them before they closed their eyes.

I have a few suggestions which would make the reading it off the screen easier.
Spacing: There were no spaces between the paragraphs. This is very off putting to anyone who comes across the story.

Punctuation: There were quite a few places where punctuation, commas etc would have made it easier to know where to pause.

This piece reminded me of a story from Aesops Fables which I loved to read myself when I was small. I could imagine this as a children’s book with beautiful illustrations. It’s certainly worth the effort to give it a good edit.
Well done.
Sue


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Review of It's True!  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I think this has to be the best reason ever for being late to work. Being held hostage until you gave those little green men from a UFO your vehicle’s rear window, was certainly stretching your boss’s credulity.
I loved this poem. It’s clever, original and humorous.
Thank you for sharing and giving me a smile.
Sue


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for entry "Prizegiving Day" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This story reminds me of many hours sitting on hard chairs at prize giving nights at my children’s schools. In all honesty we only want to see OUR child receive their prize but would have to sit and clap politely while dozens of prizes were given out. Although I never actually fell asleep, the droning on and on of endless speeches are not the sort of enlightening entertainment which stimulates the mind and keeps one interested.
Well done for incorporating the prompt words. It was an amusing and well written piece. Thanks for sharing.
Sue


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Review of Shadow People  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there. Yes you. Your opening paragraph was quite the hook. I could do nothing except to carry on reading.

Of course you did, I hear you say, I gave you no choice.

We’re all afraid of things we can’t see, of the unknown, the unrecognisable. Of things which change shape or morph into something other. We never really grow out of childhood fears, of monsters under the bed.

You did a great job of unsettling the reader in this short piece of writing,
and as I write this I’m about to turn off the light and attempt to sleep. But that rustling outside my bedroom window, which surely is just one of many nocturnal creatures which exist here in Australia, has me wondering if it might be something a little more sinister.

Thank you for giving me nightmares.
Sue


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Review of The Silver Wand  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I came across this sweet poem on Read and Review.
I read it out aloud as I like to do when reading poetry. It had a lovely rhyming rhythm with no sticky spots which caused me to falter when reading.
It was an extra pleasure knowing it was a fond memory which you had memorialised in poetry. I could imagine the wand as it was described in such detail. What would we do without our Daddies?
Thank you so much for giving me a smile as I imagined an excited little girl dressed in her fairy costume but with the very best magic wand.
Sue


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Review of Alone Again  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi this is a lovely story. Thank you for sharing.
There were a few sentences which seemed a bit lengthy. She had never been interested in theatre, never acted in a play, unless you counted the one in Kindergarten 55 years ago, when she had been the Buzzy Queen Bee and had got her wings stuck in the stage door and run on stage with crooked wings, crying for Mamma. Try: She’d never been interested in theatre and never acted in a play - unless you counted the one in Kindergarten 55 years ago. Then she’d been…

Be consistent with writing numbers. 55 or fifty five.

The third paragraph you have the word oftentwice. It would read better if you omitted one.

Your last paragraph is lovely, but a little rushed. Try slowing it down a little to make the full circle moment even more poignant.

Sue


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Review of To Begin  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, SandraLynn, what a charming poem this is. It’s as if you’re in the mind of that determined baby. One wonders what is triggering that primeval urge to move, get further, discover and to simply get going.

That vast house, that scary long hallway must be explored. Yet the child is unsure as to whether it’s yet possible.

I’ve been watching my great granddaughter lately, eight months old Ava. She’s rocked those strong little arm, bent those chubby knees and yet couldn’t seem to figure she needs to lift a hand, balance on one arm for the few seconds it takes to place the lifted hand in front of her. What a complicated manoeuvre!

Thank you for sharing this observational poem. It’s beautiful.
Sue


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Review of [to new shoes]  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, I loved the idea of a softening to new shoes. Mum used to say ‘they just need wearing in.’ But when there are no others to take their place they’ll very soon be ‘worn out.’
You could write another poem about an old shoe, its tongue and its sole/soul. I’d love to read it!
Sue


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Review of skin and bone  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oh my goodness. So much information In three little lines. They are loaded with sadness and trauma. Words hold a power some people are unaware of. Words are powerful. They can lift up or break a person. They can be used as a weapon or as a tool to mend and repair. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sue


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Review of Splash in Puddles  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I’m reviewing this sweet story for I Write in 25. It sounds as if the story is set in India. I’ve been to India and experienced the extreme weather conditions. I’ve watched as emaciated cows walked the dusty streets, where smiling children find fun playing in the dry earth. I can imagine the people in your story, eyes raised to the heavens as they pray for life giving rain.
The picture you paint with your words made me smile. I could almost feel the coolness of the water on the children’s brown limbs. Thank you for sharing.
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Bethany, welcome to WdC. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful poem. You have an insight into yourself which most of the population don’t possess. I have a very strong feeling you are going to bring many people much joy throughout your life.
You write beautifully, there are no unnecessary words each perfectly placed.
I noticed in all your wishes you didn’t want to be famous, or an author of stories which bring people to laughter or tears. You have such talent . Keep on writing and one day it might be your beautiful face peering out from the Best Seller shelf.
Good luck with everything you choose to do.
Sue


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Review of Christmas Ghosts  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for writing and sharing this Christmas story. I will admit when Emma appeared I thought she may have actually been dead. However I wasn’t disappointed I was right because the guy, you never mentioned his name, seemed a loving kind of person who had really loved his wife.
Even though you’re asking your reader to suspend their scepticism about ghosts, just for a while, it’s not too difficult at this time of the year. This is the time of reflection about those years when the children were small and there was still a magic about Christmas and all the rituals around this time. I have found myself doing just that today.
Christmas evolves as the children grow, get partners and have children of their own, until the elderly parents become shadows in the background.
I do hope Christmas Day is a good one for you and your family.
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, Jeff, I’m reviewing this blog entry as next in line at I Write in 24.
It appears to me a New Year Resolution is on the cards, and we all know what happens to those!

I enjoyed reading about all the reasons you think we humans choose to put off doing until another time, or not at all. The one I found the most surprising was your feel of failure in your writing. I’ve read many opinion pieces of yours and always found them insightful and well written. I belong to a writing group in which we have several novelists with books published by well respected publishers. I’m often prompted to do something with the hundreds of short stories I’ve written. I don’t want to do something and write purely for my own enjoyment.
So just write, Jeff, you’re good at it and who is judging you to be a failure anyway? Just yourself.

I saw a couple of typos and although I know when we blog we don’t need to be pedantic about such things, I thought I’d point them out.
I've probably put off exercising and losing eight because a part of be is afraid… losing weight because a part of me…

Thanks for sharing this interesting blog entry. Have a great Christmas.
Sue.


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for entry "Tanaga" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I’m reviewing this entry as the next in line at ‘I write in 24.’
My first thought was to wonder just how many poem forms there actually are and who invents them all. There must be literally hundreds of different ones. A Tanaga is certainly a new one to me.
It was probably new to you too, so kudos for having a go at it.
You certainly followed the seven syllables rule , that was the first thing I noticed, it rhymes and you wrote in the AABB rhyming scheme.
I thought you’d been especially inventive using my dear ma to rhyme with tanaga
Thanks for sharing this Tanaga.


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for entry "Nuance" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I enjoyed reading your poem very much. Good use of the prompted words.
I really like the line The last time for a first sweet kiss. There is nothing as beautiful and perfect as the first kiss and it’s true a first kiss can never be repeated.
The line The nuanceof body language needs a space between nuance and of.
Thank you for sharing this sweet poem.
Sue


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Review of The Painting  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, let me be one of the first to welcome you to WdC. I hope you enjoy your time here and receive lots of reviews of your stories and poems.
Reviewing is one way we can help each other to improve our writing skills with positive and helpful critiques

I enjoyed reading your story ‘The painting’, although future it would better to space out your work so it’s easier to read and perhaps use a larger font for those whose eyesight isn’t what it used to be.

The words flowed well and you had some great descriptions there. You described the painting very well, I could almost see the old man’s face and steely gaze.

One thing I noticed was the lack of contractions in your speech. Writing as people really speak and using I’m, didn’t, can’t, etc instead of the more formal, I am, did not, can not, tends to make the narrative more natural and believable.

You have a great imagination and a way with words. Enjoy WdC and keep on writing.
Sue.


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Jeff, that certainly is a great opening line for a book. The novel could be titled: A Portal to Other Worlds.

When the boy flung open the door, he didn’t find his ordinary street but a swirling portal of stars and planets. He steps through, entering a magical universe.

Where it goes from here takes a little more imagination than I sadly possess. Inventing and building new worlds takes a special interest in fantasy, a genre I’ve never attempted. However I look forward to reading Jeff’s latest fantasy novel.
Sue


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Review of Edge of Space  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I’m returning the favour and visiting your portfolio today.

I wondered about the machine you mentioned in your piece and was transported back to July 1969. Was this the Neil Armstrong experience?

Although the moon is within a relatively easy grasp these days, back then the first man on the moon must have had thoughts similar to your little story. Did he feel as if he could well be God there? After all he was there first.

Future space exploration will perhaps find planets such as our Earth. If by some miracle there were living creatures who call that place home, your last line would no doubt be his answer to the question, ‘where have you come from?’
A beautifully written piece of thoughtful prose. Thank you for sharing.
Sue


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Review of Talking the Talk  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, Jacky, this story came up on Read and Review and it made me smile.
The reason I smiled was probably because there was a little of myself in the protagonist. I don’t think I’ve gone down hill so far as to apologise to a sponge but I’ve certainly been known to swear at inanimate objects.

Rattling around alone in a big house can certainly send one a little round the bend. Human beings are social animals and need others to interact with. Perhaps he/she should get another dog. I have great conversations with our dog and she appears to agree with everything I say.

Though, not fond of the amount of work, I’ve read, to get a house ready to sell. But the biggest issue is the talking. I found these two sentences a little clunky. Neither sentence seems to be a complete sentence. Perhaps you could find a way of combining the two? Suggestion: I’ve read it takes work to sell a house, which I’m not fond of, but it’s talking to people, that’s the issue.

Thanks for sharing this slice of life.
Sue


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for entry "Energy Usage" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I’m reviewing this eight liner as part of I Write in 24.
The prompt is as usual very cryptic. It could have meant so many things. You chose to go down the energy from the humble battery.

What a great feeling it is to have new batteries in anything. It gives one a secure feeling. It seems as if you are referencing a gaming device in the poem. Even those headphones you’re using needs batteries or at least several hours to recharge, and I can sense the frustration you might feel when the batteries run out in the middle of a game.
These days though it seems everything is reliant on batteries, even our cars but especially our phones and devices.
In the second stanza, the line: Until it needs charged I think the last word need to be, charging.
At home in the kitchen we have, or should I say he has, a drawer especially for batteries. That’s not to say they’re all viable, but one never knows “there may be some life left in them.”
Thanks for your poem, you certainly Expressed it in Eight.


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Review of The Passenger  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Jeremy Author Icon Hi Amy, this is the perfect horror story. The characters are clearly painted, each distinct from the other.
There is a foreshadowing of something unsettling to come as John hesitates to get on the night train.
My heart sank when the lights went out and wondered what terrible fate was in store for John, and then, when the lights came back on, a scene of nightmares was laid out before the reader.
It then became obvious John was on the last train, the train to either heaven, hell, or perhaps to another life, condemned to catching this train night after night for eternity.
I love writing horror stories and I wished I’d written this!
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I found this story on Read and Review. The first paragraph caught my eye. A good start because it made me want to keep reading.

It’s a story of sliding doors in as much as one tiny thing can change the trajectory of your life in an instant. I’m sure we all consider what might have been if we’d taken a different path. We might not have even met that person with whom we end up living with for the rest of our life.

Life is so unpredictable that planning seems almost a waste of time. Is it fate? Who knows? No one.

You told the series of events of that fateful day very clearly and precisely. What could anyone have done differently to change the ending and which parts of the event? Maybe if you hadn’t stopped to pick up the dry cleaning or if it hadn’t begun to snow, the day would have unfolded differently. If you hadn’t screamed a warning, Bob may have been killed. If the driver had been delayed in his journey by just a few seconds he might not have hit that patch of ice and continued on his way oblivious of what could have been. Then none of you would have ever known what almost happened. Then of course this story would never have been written.

Thank you for reminding me of the fragility and the mystery of all our lives. Great story.

Sue.


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