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816 Public Reviews Given
818 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, first let me welcome you to WdC. I hope you enjoy your time here and you receive any help you require whilst navigating what can be a sometimes confusing site. But it will be worthwhile, I can promise you that.
This story certainly has a moral and I love being entertained with a little good advice thrown in.
I loved your descriptions: the marvelous stretch of sand along the coastline that crunched under their feet like brown sugar when it was soggy. also: and the sunsets that bled red, purple and pink every good evening.
I wished that I’d have been so easy to convince to do your own thing when I was young. I think embarrassment goes with being a teenager.

Lovely little story. Keep writing.
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi, John Author Icon as promised I’m here in your portfolio to read and review one of your stories. I quite enjoyed reading this item. Looks like you’re planning on writing more. What are your plans? A novel perhaps?
If you want to draw people to read your stories you should consider filling in the genres. This story would attract readers to perhaps the genres: horror, mystery and supernatural. Please don’t waste the opportunity to grow your profile and membership.
I noticed on another story in your portfolio, which I haven’t yet read, you suggested the item might not be suitable for a younger audience. This is when you should use the rating system. There are many, such as: suitable for Everyone, 13 years and over: 18 years and over: and then the rating for more explicit material.
I enjoyed Part one of The Mirror.
Write on.
Cheers Sue


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Review of Gulzor  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello once more, Rene, I reviewed the first story you posted yesterday and made the mistake of not realising the narrator had been male and not female as I imagined. I hope you can forgive my ignorance. After reading your biography I realise English is not your first language and that you speak and write in many others. I’m envious of your writing skills and talent so feel unworthy to even comment on this story, Guizor.
However having read it I feel compelled to say how much I enjoyed the soft, lyrical rhythm of your words. It was a little like reading a fable, one with a lesson to be learned as all fables should strive to impart. I have no criticism with your translation from what I presume is Russian. I hope you find the person you’re seeking to translate your stories into English. There maybe someone here on WdC.
Returning to the story, my heart swelled with pleasure when the brothers were treated with respect, kindness and assistance. But your words made that same heart sink as they saw that kindness as something not intended.
The visualisation of the desert sands encroaching and then reclaiming were powerful.
Thank you so much for sharing with the readers lucky enough to find your stories.
All the best, Sue.


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, firstly let me welcome you to WdC. I hope you find a home here and people who’ll assist you with any questions about the site.

I’m so pleased I read this story which I found on Read and Review.
You seemed to have a knowledge of the Islamic faith which many of us may not. Girls of Jandal’s age are considered disposable, as are females in general. They aren’t held in high regard and are there to be used and for the will of men.

The story is powerful, distressing and very well written. It kept this reader’s attention right from the beginning.

I do have some advice about spacing. Reading text on a screen is so different to reading of a page in a book. By spacing out paragraphs and chapters it makes it so much easier to read. Being faced by unbroken blocks of text is off putting to many WdC readers. In this case it would be the perspective readers who’d be the one’s missing out.
I saw no grammatical errors.

Thank you so much for sharing. I wish you all the best in the future.
Sue.


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Review of Face in the Storm  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I’m returning the favour and reviewing your story for I Write in 25.
I noticed you entered it in Twisted Tales. That was a good choice as it certainly was a twisted tale!
There were all sorts of twists from the mysterious pale, blue eyed man in the story Sara’s grandmother told her, to the appearance to her grandfather who didn’t seem to have aged. Was he a ghost? I’m not an expert on tenses but I sensed there was some mixing of past and present tense throughout the story.
Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Sue


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Review of Let morning come  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, as usual a wonderful poem. I really liked the form how the second last line becomes the first line of the next stanza. Does it have a name or is it simply a Kare poetry form?

I was reading Hoarfrosts from Hell today and your poem written for 8 reached out to me.

Sign me up to leave this world
that will not let me breathe.
I thirst for a cup of water,
my other humble plea.

No — wait — I see a sunset
and a sky of twinkling stars.
Perhaps I'll sit here till the sunrise,
hold unto hope for one day more.

It’s a poem full of hope for a better day/future. I think as we get older we perhaps too lightly wish to sign up to leave this world, but life is precious isn’t it? I know some religions believe we get another go at life, but that’s not my belief. So, No, I’ll sit here till the sunrise too.
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, this is an interesting article. It’s refreshing to hear someone coming out in favour of social media. I always like to hear or read the views of younger people. Of course it’s what you know, it’s your reality so how could you understand the detractors?
Yet as an eighty year old who brought up a family when only tv was the entertainment available. At a time when phone calls had to be taken in the middle of the family room on the only land line available then of course I obviously have differing views.
My adult children never felt deprived, we spent time speaking to the family, not closing themselves away in their rooms on their devices. They had no bullying following them home with their phones. Slept well with no calls and pings keeping them awake. They went out with groups of friends and actually talked without checking their social media every few minutes. This was their reality and I’m so pleased it was.


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for entry "Stay True to Yourself" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello again, you’re being a very prolific writer. You’re amazing.
I checked the prompt for this poem it certainly fits.

I know it is about an owl giving advice, and great advice it is too. Know yourself, know what you’re capable of and be aware of the pitfalls.
This wise old owl knows what he’s talking about Best pay heed.
Thank you for yet another charming poem.
Sue


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Review of The Sea  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, Ember, welcome to WdC. I see you haven’t yet completed your biography. That’s disappointing as I always like to check out to see whom I’m reviewing or talking to.

I haven’t yet read anything else you’ve written but I see you like poetry.
Your genre for this poem is children. I’m unsure if a child would understand or enjoy this poem though. The first line: The sea is wet and blue is certainly a simple line and I thought this was going to be a rhyming poem, as all children love the rhythm and flow of rhyming words. I was a little disappointed to find it was free verse which usually children don’t appreciate, unless of course it’s accompanied by brilliant illustrations.
The last four lines seem to me to be seperate from the beginning, and if I’m correct are about people who have died at sea? I feel you strayed a little from what you originally intended.
Anyway as I said before it’s always lovely to have new writers here at WdC. This is the place where you’ll receive help to improve if you ask for it.
Keep on writing.
Sue


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Review of THE MIDNIGHT HOUR  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, I saw your story on Read and Review. It’s a lyrical, sweet story written for children and I’m sure any child would love it to be read to them before they closed their eyes.

I have a few suggestions which would make the reading it off the screen easier.
Spacing: There were no spaces between the paragraphs. This is very off putting to anyone who comes across the story.

Punctuation: There were quite a few places where punctuation, commas etc would have made it easier to know where to pause.

This piece reminded me of a story from Aesops Fables which I loved to read myself when I was small. I could imagine this as a children’s book with beautiful illustrations. It’s certainly worth the effort to give it a good edit.
Well done.
Sue


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Review of It's True!  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I think this has to be the best reason ever for being late to work. Being held hostage until you gave those little green men from a UFO your vehicle’s rear window, was certainly stretching your boss’s credulity.
I loved this poem. It’s clever, original and humorous.
Thank you for sharing and giving me a smile.
Sue


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for entry "Prizegiving Day" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This story reminds me of many hours sitting on hard chairs at prize giving nights at my children’s schools. In all honesty we only want to see OUR child receive their prize but would have to sit and clap politely while dozens of prizes were given out. Although I never actually fell asleep, the droning on and on of endless speeches are not the sort of enlightening entertainment which stimulates the mind and keeps one interested.
Well done for incorporating the prompt words. It was an amusing and well written piece. Thanks for sharing.
Sue


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Review of Shadow People  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there. Yes you. Your opening paragraph was quite the hook. I could do nothing except to carry on reading.

Of course you did, I hear you say, I gave you no choice.

We’re all afraid of things we can’t see, of the unknown, the unrecognisable. Of things which change shape or morph into something other. We never really grow out of childhood fears, of monsters under the bed.

You did a great job of unsettling the reader in this short piece of writing,
and as I write this I’m about to turn off the light and attempt to sleep. But that rustling outside my bedroom window, which surely is just one of many nocturnal creatures which exist here in Australia, has me wondering if it might be something a little more sinister.

Thank you for giving me nightmares.
Sue


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Review of The Silver Wand  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I came across this sweet poem on Read and Review.
I read it out aloud as I like to do when reading poetry. It had a lovely rhyming rhythm with no sticky spots which caused me to falter when reading.
It was an extra pleasure knowing it was a fond memory which you had memorialised in poetry. I could imagine the wand as it was described in such detail. What would we do without our Daddies?
Thank you so much for giving me a smile as I imagined an excited little girl dressed in her fairy costume but with the very best magic wand.
Sue


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Review of Alone Again  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi this is a lovely story. Thank you for sharing.
There were a few sentences which seemed a bit lengthy. She had never been interested in theatre, never acted in a play, unless you counted the one in Kindergarten 55 years ago, when she had been the Buzzy Queen Bee and had got her wings stuck in the stage door and run on stage with crooked wings, crying for Mamma. Try: She’d never been interested in theatre and never acted in a play - unless you counted the one in Kindergarten 55 years ago. Then she’d been…

Be consistent with writing numbers. 55 or fifty five.

The third paragraph you have the word oftentwice. It would read better if you omitted one.

Your last paragraph is lovely, but a little rushed. Try slowing it down a little to make the full circle moment even more poignant.

Sue


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Review of To Begin  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, SandraLynn, what a charming poem this is. It’s as if you’re in the mind of that determined baby. One wonders what is triggering that primeval urge to move, get further, discover and to simply get going.

That vast house, that scary long hallway must be explored. Yet the child is unsure as to whether it’s yet possible.

I’ve been watching my great granddaughter lately, eight months old Ava. She’s rocked those strong little arm, bent those chubby knees and yet couldn’t seem to figure she needs to lift a hand, balance on one arm for the few seconds it takes to place the lifted hand in front of her. What a complicated manoeuvre!

Thank you for sharing this observational poem. It’s beautiful.
Sue


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Review of [to new shoes]  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Kare, I loved the idea of a softening to new shoes. Mum used to say ‘they just need wearing in.’ But when there are no others to take their place they’ll very soon be ‘worn out.’
You could write another poem about an old shoe, its tongue and its sole/soul. I’d love to read it!
Sue


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Review of skin and bone  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oh my goodness. So much information In three little lines. They are loaded with sadness and trauma. Words hold a power some people are unaware of. Words are powerful. They can lift up or break a person. They can be used as a weapon or as a tool to mend and repair. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sue


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Review of Splash in Puddles  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I’m reviewing this sweet story for I Write in 25. It sounds as if the story is set in India. I’ve been to India and experienced the extreme weather conditions. I’ve watched as emaciated cows walked the dusty streets, where smiling children find fun playing in the dry earth. I can imagine the people in your story, eyes raised to the heavens as they pray for life giving rain.
The picture you paint with your words made me smile. I could almost feel the coolness of the water on the children’s brown limbs. Thank you for sharing.
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Bethany, welcome to WdC. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful poem. You have an insight into yourself which most of the population don’t possess. I have a very strong feeling you are going to bring many people much joy throughout your life.
You write beautifully, there are no unnecessary words each perfectly placed.
I noticed in all your wishes you didn’t want to be famous, or an author of stories which bring people to laughter or tears. You have such talent . Keep on writing and one day it might be your beautiful face peering out from the Best Seller shelf.
Good luck with everything you choose to do.
Sue


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Review of Christmas Ghosts  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for writing and sharing this Christmas story. I will admit when Emma appeared I thought she may have actually been dead. However I wasn’t disappointed I was right because the guy, you never mentioned his name, seemed a loving kind of person who had really loved his wife.
Even though you’re asking your reader to suspend their scepticism about ghosts, just for a while, it’s not too difficult at this time of the year. This is the time of reflection about those years when the children were small and there was still a magic about Christmas and all the rituals around this time. I have found myself doing just that today.
Christmas evolves as the children grow, get partners and have children of their own, until the elderly parents become shadows in the background.
I do hope Christmas Day is a good one for you and your family.
Sue


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Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, Jeff, I’m reviewing this blog entry as next in line at I Write in 24.
It appears to me a New Year Resolution is on the cards, and we all know what happens to those!

I enjoyed reading about all the reasons you think we humans choose to put off doing until another time, or not at all. The one I found the most surprising was your feel of failure in your writing. I’ve read many opinion pieces of yours and always found them insightful and well written. I belong to a writing group in which we have several novelists with books published by well respected publishers. I’m often prompted to do something with the hundreds of short stories I’ve written. I don’t want to do something and write purely for my own enjoyment.
So just write, Jeff, you’re good at it and who is judging you to be a failure anyway? Just yourself.

I saw a couple of typos and although I know when we blog we don’t need to be pedantic about such things, I thought I’d point them out.
I've probably put off exercising and losing eight because a part of be is afraid… losing weight because a part of me…

Thanks for sharing this interesting blog entry. Have a great Christmas.
Sue.


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for entry "Tanaga" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
I’m reviewing this entry as the next in line at ‘I write in 24.’
My first thought was to wonder just how many poem forms there actually are and who invents them all. There must be literally hundreds of different ones. A Tanaga is certainly a new one to me.
It was probably new to you too, so kudos for having a go at it.
You certainly followed the seven syllables rule , that was the first thing I noticed, it rhymes and you wrote in the AABB rhyming scheme.
I thought you’d been especially inventive using my dear ma to rhyme with tanaga
Thanks for sharing this Tanaga.


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for entry "Nuance" Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I enjoyed reading your poem very much. Good use of the prompted words.
I really like the line The last time for a first sweet kiss. There is nothing as beautiful and perfect as the first kiss and it’s true a first kiss can never be repeated.
The line The nuanceof body language needs a space between nuance and of.
Thank you for sharing this sweet poem.
Sue


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Review of The Painting  Open in new Window.
Review by Sumojo Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, let me be one of the first to welcome you to WdC. I hope you enjoy your time here and receive lots of reviews of your stories and poems.
Reviewing is one way we can help each other to improve our writing skills with positive and helpful critiques

I enjoyed reading your story ‘The painting’, although future it would better to space out your work so it’s easier to read and perhaps use a larger font for those whose eyesight isn’t what it used to be.

The words flowed well and you had some great descriptions there. You described the painting very well, I could almost see the old man’s face and steely gaze.

One thing I noticed was the lack of contractions in your speech. Writing as people really speak and using I’m, didn’t, can’t, etc instead of the more formal, I am, did not, can not, tends to make the narrative more natural and believable.

You have a great imagination and a way with words. Enjoy WdC and keep on writing.
Sue.


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