Well written from the prompt provided. I could picture the pit, the intense anger, all the spooky, gory intent. The predator almost seems like a wild animal with intellengent thoughts.
Long but enjoyable, edited completely. Thank you for sharing. StaiNe
Small poem, but quite impactful. I found myself totally relating, thinking of the two flights of stairs at work, and the flight at home. I suppose thoughts like this happen as we age, as we see those changes to ourselves and never really sure if it just age of something else. Thought proactive.
Misleading, almost suggestive than totally relatable. Well done. I would never think to write about such an experience but have my own memories of my own. To display it from the eyes of the newborn is so well done! Thanks for sharing with me.
Delightful story, all that misleading was great, I really though I was reading a spooky story, the house, the wheat field, being chased, all that fear, the cat watching it all unfold, and all for a bath. So entertaining Thanks!!!! No suggestions, I enjoyed this a lot.
What a pleasant well thought out poem. I agree we all see age differently, and know that as long as we use it and move it we keep both. I found myself smiling reading this and enjoyed it very much, quite heartwarming. My My! Thank you for sharing.
This sounds like a happy cat, and I found myself relating a lot as my own cat is very such similar as I feel this sums many vats, not to step on your Mamabear in any way. I'm sorry.
I see no errors, and enjoyed it for it feeling of adornment. I have a cat myself and he a senior now, so this is sad in knowing the lost. My cat was a gift to my youngest son who is no longer here, so he's very special to me.
Thank you for sharing and I hope it helped you you. StaiNe
Milo
Simple, no flashy imagery, just two people trapped in an elevator. I enjoyed it, and appreciated the larger font size very much. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of romanc, or hormones.
Easy to read, not a easy subject. I could see the lady with the wonderful smile, and can feel the young age as you relate the memory of the cleaning lady. Thank you for sharing, I see no errors, and have no comment to change this in any way.
Thanks for sharing. When we are broken so much goes through our heads its sometimes very hard to express. This is well done, shows the confusion, the guilt, the loneliness, the anger. so much. I felt included and that my own experiences are similar. Unloading. Broken is used a lot but doesn't lack it which is nice. No suggestions to change this. Again Thanks for sharing, I hope it helped you in some way.
Thanks for sharing, It reminded me of a relationship I tried but somehow wasn't invested. Using the same line each stanza is a neat touch and kind of emphases the feelings of confusion and fear. I have no suggestions, again Thanks!!!
Houseflies are fairies. I'll never forget that. Thank you for always using a larger font size, it truly makes reading easier. A annoyed fairy giving a rather unimagine interview, at first I thought Interview with a vampire but nope not even close. Well edited, I have no suggestions, and as always I very so enjoyed, especially being left with that thought of houseflies. I think I'm becoming bias you write stories so well.
Last weekend before the big four hours. This is a neat poem. To be honest not my cup of team but is interesting in it's quite gallant imagery no doubt. Not overbearing. Thanks for sharing.
This is a well done story about a notebook that stays completely away from media troupes currently out and about. Not too long. I could see the fear on henry face, the uncertainty, hear the cat yowl. Honestly well done!
I enjoyed this, the image of the used water, mean to be used was a neat touch to this almost fantasy like poem. I suspect many don't have such memories, and times that many say were better. Thank you for sharing, and I have nothing to suggest.
Random Review link Thanks!!
This kind of reminds me of The Midnight Meat Train is some ways. I always enjoy a dark, full of feelings poem. I see no errors and honestly have no helpful suggestions to improve this. Thank you.
Like a scarecrow in Wizard of Oz.. OHH my. This as all I have read is great, so easy to get onboard. I truly thought we were going somewhere else so suggestive at the first and the high rating. Harold enough to feel the creepy, the little girl with the pink ribbon, I'm sure I could see her cry, and last but not least the bus driver taking a heart attack. So much in this flash fiction. Just a great smooth read. Thank you so much as I said before just so well done!
Heartbreak is a changing emotion truly, and no come out unscathed in some way. I'll be honest I do not know who Stephen Gunn is, but this is good and easy to read. Thanks for sharing I always enjoy a walk.
Neat prose. Quiet fire? I don't think I understood your intent, but felt the somber stillness of a flame. An idea? I really do like this. Thanks I hope the quiet fire continues deep within far from your heart but always warming.
The description doesn't do this fantastic creepy poem justice. Wow! The description is spot on with the flow. Leading the way gently seems to be so easy for you, I enjoyed this too much! I can see the alleys, the creepy head and oh! the ending, karma indeed. I can't say there's a thing wrong with this, I'm so entertained.
Thank you so much for the creepy original idea poem. I'm smiling from ear to ear.
A tribute type poem about the thankfulness of finding faith and sharing the fact that you have. I respect that. Fear and feeling alone isn't pleasant, and being able to share totally unafraid and asking for guidance and understanding in powerful for some. It's well edited and one sided, but that being said it what makes some what educational. Thank you for sharing.
I liked this, though I had to read it a few times as the great ending caught me up. A very descriptive prose of a past time when we lived with more struggles and more appreciation. I could see the cat, the fire, hear the rain, imagine the smells of the fire the sound of the ticking clock, there is a lot going on here and the ending just yanks all that and put the reader on their bum. This is very good and I have no suggestions, like I said a lot described. Thanks!
What a delightful children's poem, about a Koala with allergies. Easy to follow and simple rhymed. Kind hearted, yet educational in a way. Kind of reminded me of family knitting mittens and socks, that warm settling feeling. No suggestions. Thanks!
Congratulations on your placing for this old but well written story like prose, about mice from their point of view, giving some empathy to an animal not often thought of, or sought to learn about in a positive way. The suspense of the old owl in it almost tactile mood. All in all great. Thank you for sharing and enjoy your day.
Neat small story about despair, I don;t know the reference in the description. I think though this is prose at least, or free form poem. It just bare no imagery, no characters. The repetition would make great stanzas. I'll show you.Your first paragraph as a beginning poem.
A light tapping on the door of despair.
She knocked, and I let her in.
She sat silently for a while, saying nothing.
The room began to feel dingy and dirty.
The longer she stayed, the more it felt as though smoke had filled my lungs.
Basically putting each sentence on its own line. Makes it easier to read, I don't think its a story. Thanks for sharing and I hope I was helpful as that was my intent. Good day!
Very well done. arboreal creates a world of mystery and beginnings and endings. You capture that essence in small glimpse of gracious imagery. I enjoy the woods, during the day songful, and scents, at night dark, creepy and misleading.
I don't have any suggestions to improve or change this but feel it could be perhaps another stanza or two. Again Thanks for the poem. StaiNe
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