This poem is very neat. The word lent caused me to stop and think and to continue considering the repercussions of lending our hearts to those we love. It is a great image. Thanks.
My Favorite Part
It is the feeling we have when we know our hearts are with another, with a commitment strong and true.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Oh, yeah! This poem has been chosen for "Invalid Item" This is perfectly wonderful. And unfortunately true, when a youngster puts her mind to it, she or he can rule the roost and ruin the roast!
This will be the 4th Lighthouse in the September Junior Lighthouse Challenge! Readers young and old will be bopping in to read this!
My Favorite Part
I don't think I can single out one part. Too cute! The Queen of Mean
Hee Hee! Ho ho! Hahahahaha!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Well-done poem! The words you use support the title very well. I felt there were a few awkward spots rhythmically. The most notable for me was the fourth line of the second stanza. I learned not too long ago that beginning some lines with consonants gives them a more definite beginning. Therefore, it may just be the two vowels beginning the first two words of that line. Who knows? Anyway, I wanted you to know that I feel the meaning there is a little blurred.
I like the way you repeated the title a little differently between stanzas and how it created a flow in the poem that would not have been there without the repetition.
My Favorite Part
fading like prisms This is a wonderful image. I examined it mentally and emotionally and found it to be a good representation of what you are talking about.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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It's all about feeling! This is another awesome poem with plenty of things to share with children or even other adults. It reminds me of books and movies like the Pagemaster. You never know what you will find when you look inside your own thoughts. Will I find ways to delete all strife Awkward phrase, perhaps a different word such as end would work better here.
My Favorite Part
I really enjoyed the whole poem and the way it transported me to a place where using your imagination is acceptable and really wondrous.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Ewwwwwwwww! You are actually too funny. Hee Hee! This is great, but you made my mouth water! Not happily. Gross. I love to see kids when you read things like this to them. You could give them a glass of buttermilk to taste, then read this poem to them. Hahahahaha! I can hear them giggling and saying Ewwwwwwww! I love children and I love your poems!
My Favorite Part
All the alternative combinations you gave were pretty awful, too!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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I got to see an elephant! This poem is really adorable! I can see it being a favorite for lots of children. I got such a kick out of it, because you made me laugh. I could see the things that were happening on each line.
My Favorite Part
It was the end, but I don't want to give it away! Others will have to read it for themselves.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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What a great poem! I like the way you work your way around to that last line. It is a memorable way to end this poem. I like the title and I like the way it all settles in around the reckless abandon of just being you.
Hi!
Folders are the doorways from the Main Entrance to the Wings that hold the different categories of our stuff! Portfolio impact is greatly governed by getting the reader interested.
This is a nice introduction to your poetry. I'd like to see it dressed up a little, since you do want people to hang on every word! Color and images add a lot, especially to a folder.
I love the little poem you made. My only suggestion is that you don't need the word and at the end of the second sentence. You could insert a comma instead or not, it's up to you.
Note:You need to edit this and put your rating on it. E will work just great!
Thoughts as ethereal things, great imagery. It's interesting how you wove this poem of the anguish and loneliness in the darkness of midnight. We are separated from the world of activity and companionship, but joined with what is not seen with the eye or heard with the ear.
My Favorite Part
Your artistry in bringing me to a place where I can relate by using the right words, like closeted and childish and lost.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Concise and striking! This is a really well done synopsis of a marriage with extreme loss in it. I wish that more marriages could reform into solid love after being melted down by tragedy. Sometimes we melt down separately and reform apart, hardening the part closest to the one we loved.
You have drawn an awesome picture with words. Where a picture paints a thousand words, your words have painted countless images. That, my dear, is poetry!
My Favorite Part
we hold one another, dancing round and round
I believe in the spiraling rhythm of the universe, from the DNA to the music of the solar system and the spheres, it is a dance. You brought your poem back to that dance, to love.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Good morning, my beautiful friend! I've come to play in your port for a little while. I like this poem. I am going to share with you what I see in it, just think about it, I'm not an authority on poems. On the other hand, I am good at picking up on emotion!
The Abyss That is You Absolutely incredible title, but then you pulled your punches! Switching to his and her instead of you and me pulled out emotionally. Hit us over the head with this one!
Secondly, I would like to see you put in some commas and periods. My first suggestion is always to write it out like prose if you can't figure out where the punctuation goes, then put it back into this form.
Go for it!
My Favorite Part
Frozen dreams Like the title, this image is a keeper! Wow! Great job!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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What vivid images! Fire is something we can all relate to and we all seem to have an opinion about it. This poem reminds me of families who keep the fire burning through generations by tending that little ember that is left in the heart of the ashes in the morning. They take the fire with them when they move to a new home. They share the fire from one household to the next, always making sure their neighbor has fire.
My Favorite Part
The little city in the flames is cool, but the sparks flying is the best!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Hi! This is a cool poem. The last half of it is really rhythmical and poetic.
The first half could use some work. I believe the first line should end in a singular year. This probably needs to have some hint in the poem that it is about summer solstice, because winter solstice also happens. The first half is blurred to me, if that makes any sense.
It might help to insert some poetic form such as rhyme in it. I like to read and write poetry, but I am not an expert on poetry. Keep up the good work and keep aiming at great!
My Favorite Part
I especially love the way you created motion with cascade in torrent.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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This is really interesting! I enjoyed reading it very much. It kept me interested all the way through. There are some faltering areas punctuation-wise, but that does not keep it from being easy to read!
Please let me know when you finish it, so I can come back and read it again!
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
It is a good idea to put a rating on every one of your works. Even though this is a ghost story, I think it can still have an E or 13+ rating easily.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
The following quote, which begins a one-sentence paragraph, could benefit from being broken into smaller parts.
George Allison, our foreman had asked that we get as much done this morning,I
The days day's work had finished
heard a voice calling for me, it was Steve,
we said our goodbye's goodbyes and then made our way upstairs.
I decided to enlist my roomates roommate's help
Judging by how the boy was dressed, This is the last sentence, it just ends bluntly! Where is the rest of it? This is really interesting!
My Favorite Part
I really enjoyed the eeriness you added to this. With a little reworking, it could be scary!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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What a difference! Yes, forty years can be a long time. Then again, it can be a short time as well. It scares me to know that so many of us don't heed the lessons of the past or even the present. No one wants anything to get worse, but hardly any one takes the time to vote. So much strife to obtain rights and so quickly lose them without any effort at all.
My Favorite Part
Your speech patterns really served their purpose! You really accomplished so much in so few words. Well done!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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This is cute! This is about the most complaining I have ever heard out of an angel. Hee Hee. The poor little guy. He got smished and squoooshed. I can just heart the giggling of little children now!
My Favorite Part
I think it might be the little child carrying him around in the toy train, although there are lots of funny things.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Yep, that will do it! Kids are so great. Their solutions are so spontaneous. That is not to say that they will work. They do, however put things into perspective when you get upset about things!
My Favorite Part
... is that you deal with your frustration by remembering those awful and sometimes frantic times with humor and love!
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Can't children just make you feel all better?!? Out of the mouths of babes! Kids can really put us in our place for the things we take for granted, can't they? It's a mystical magical world every morning for them and they just get up and deal with it all day!
My Favorite Part
It could have been me! And I always have curly hair!
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Hee Hee Hee! Boy, I know the feeling of not getting rid of old things! I also know the frustration of that old thing continuing to take up space on the planet when it should be in the bottom of the dog house for comfort for a winter season, then out!!!
But no, it's just what we love about the little dears.
My Favorite Part
I love the male stripper reference. Too hilarious!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Lament (E) For those I will not see again, I am better for having met you. #752681 by C. Powell
We don't want to forget. You have taken that heartache of things that we left out of our lives and made a mournful song of that knowledge. The sadness, the joy, the craving of our spirits to have one more moment in the past, when things were different than now; to have that moment and change it somehow. We hold within us the hope that we will never forget, but wish we could remember something better, something more pure and more wonderful. We remember our own version of history and history may repeat itself, but it will never change.
My Favorite Part
This wondrous desire
Laden with regret
What an incredible phrase to sum up the time that we wish we had back.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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What a sad poem. This poem is about that period of adjustment between loss and living on. There is a point in time after we lose someone that we feel the separation to be so absolute that we cannot walk a step without the refrain, 'I Walk Alone' chanting away inside of our souls. This is a poem about that time.
The victory in life comes in moving past these stumbling blocks in our lives. Nietzche was right when he said, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." The problem is that many of us wish we were dead. Thanks for sharing.
My Favorite Part
It is good to bookmark that place, that moment in our lives when we feel we are totally alone.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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It's going to be fun! I finally got to make my debut in our campfire today. Talk about being late to class! This is going to be so much fun, since you have set a minimum of 500 characters per entry and everyone seems to be exercising their verbosity.
The basis for this seems to be fascinating and I just can't wait to see what happens next. No typos or grammatical errors, just a good beginning. I hope others feel free to join in.
My Favorite Part
Nothing will prepare you for the field trips!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks for running this costume. I enjoyed competing in July so much! Having all those judges come by was really awesome! I loved it! I'll definitely be thinking through who to plug this time!
A couple of snags: Anyone who donates 20K or more will recieve a merit badge for APPERCIATION. Invalid Merit Badge #116056 Winner of the JUDGING Merit Badge
My Favorite Part
It gives us a chance to strut our 'other' stuff!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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This is a well-done tiny story. I enjoy reading a variety of lengths of items in the ports I visit, so when I sailed in and all but this one were in the folder, guess where I stopped off first! Interesting technique. I think I'll use it.
Your writing is very expressive. I like the easy way you have with words.
Ideas (take 'em or leave 'em )
My only suggestion would be to read over the piece carefully, even aloud if you have to, and concentrate on what is on the page, especially if you think you know what is there. That is what I have to do to catch the little stuff and get the words to make sense.
Typos and Grammatical Challenges I know, something for everyone!
course;, it doesn’t matter. punctuation No-one can see my screen You don't need the dash in 'no one'. Only, only Maud. Perhaps 'Only — only Maud.' The first time I got one of the long dashes, it was gifted to me. Now I keep a small collection of them on my Note Pad, to use whenever I need them. So — here's a few to start your own collection! I turn and push myself towards over to bin
My Favorite Part
The interaction with the yellow tissue is awesome!
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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It's all about feeling! I appreciate this poem. Thanks for writing it for your friend. War is a terrible thing, as any soldier knows. The way we keep peace is to have a group of truly patriotic men and women who, without hesitation, will fight for our freedom.
A singular typo in the subtitle: Words inspired by a Navy Soldier who we kept in touch with in trough through e-mail.
My Favorite Part
I like all of it and I am happy to know that you took the time to write this as a tribute. Tell your friend thanks from me.
Write on! Thanks for sharing!
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You have captured a special relationship! 
Hee Hee! This is great, but you made my mouth water! Not happily. 
Gross. I love to see kids when you read things like this to them. You could give them a glass of buttermilk to taste, then read this poem to them. Hahahahaha! I can hear them giggling and saying Ewwwwwwww! I love children and I love your poems!
