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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rmcgee/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/8
Review Requests: OFF
421 Public Reviews Given
425 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Mostly just bitchin'. If it's great writing I switch over to nit-picking but usually I'll find something to like. Please don't ask me to review poetry unless you're either James Fenton, Seamus Heaney or thick skinned as an elephant... I absolutely hate bad poetry. I'm the terror of the dactyls, I swat them with my hat. I'll have no truck with trochees, coz life's too short for that. Seriously I'm not qualified. I mean a metre is made up of feet? Like what?
I'm good at...
Nit picking. Spotting big fat slabs of exposition pretending to be dialogue. Fighting my way out of paper bags.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that might be expected to rhyme or scan but doesn't.
Favorite Item Types
Personal preference is narrative fiction.
Public Reviews
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176
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A distinctive voice and that's for certain. It's not my cuppa tea, but that's my look out. I won't be scoring it down on account of that. For all that the violent talk, I didn't feel much tension. Foreshadowing might be worked in.
guide the phones handset to the appropriate requirement seemed an awkward construction. 'put you right', struck me as a simpler alternative. I didn't believe the POV knew a flying flock about global warming.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
177
177
Review of Film Noir  Open in new Window.
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a pretty good noir pastiche with some nice chandleresque phrases (no not the one from friends) slithered like a snake on ice. The writing is tidy and well executed. But is this it? (In which case a stronger ending please) or will there be more?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
178
178
Review of Light Sleeper  Open in new Window.
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Faultless writing, detailed world building and something even more unusual,a distinctive voice. Very promising. If I had to criticise, and I must say it's hard to do so, I wonder whether this fantasy world will be able to differentiate itself from the many others available to contemporary readers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
179
179
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Oh man! Pick a tense and stick to it will ya!
And just what in tarnation does this sentence mean:
The reason, they were in the company gave them a vacation as a means to celebrate the amalgamation of two companies that were impossible to see eye to eye with, until he spoke up.
I'm sorry, there might be a great story here, and I don't want to seem mean, but I couldn't hack it. I gave up. Fix the grammar and you may be onto something.
I'm going to rate this 3 because in a perfect world I would have more patience.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
180
180
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
A traditional shaggy dog story if ever there was one. The beginning intrigued me and the twist at the end was good too. The dialogue is minimal but business-like and effective. I was left wondering about the narrator and who they eere but it's not really a story about them.
181
181
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The plot's ok. I'd have liked to see a bit more showing and a bit less telling. We keep being told about the cops speech impediment yet his dialogue doesn't back as its spoken normally.
Some attention to police procedural might help too. For example, The cop asks do you know Cummings? The perp might not know him by name. A capable cop would have a photo.
Also the whole setup lacks differentiation. There's nothing here we haven't seen in a thousand interview room shakedowns.
182
182
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I can't say this worked for me and I'm not sure why. Yes, there was sensory detail. Yes, there were active verbs. But I found the style remote. I didn't feel I was there. To me it felt like more notes. Like something unfinished.
183
183
Review of A Wise Father  Open in new Window.
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Exposition and dialog excellently handled. Nice twist. Perhaps lacking in conflict but I imagine this was the desired effect.
184
184
Review of The Moonstone  Open in new Window.
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Pretty high standard here I think. Nice twist at the end and exposition is carefully layered in.
Some stuff i didn't like so much: i found the tone of the first paragraph odd. A Knight on a horse called chocolate. I laughed out loud and I'm not sure if I was supposed to. Also I appreciate the effort to avoid the dreaded info-dump, but I would have liked, early on, to know more about where we were. Just a paragraph. The way it was i had difficulty visualising the Knight and his journey as there wasn't enough to go on.
185
185
Review of The Nine Planets  Open in new Window.
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hum. I'm scoring this well on account of the brilliant ending straight out if left field 'kicked off the team'. Loved that. Otherwise I'm afraid I really don't get what effect is being attempted here. The other stanza ends just aren't as good. Call me old fashioned but I think I would like it better if it rhymed.
186
186
Review by RobMcGee Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting ideas but a but hard to follow. It might help understand your work if you included more concrete imagery at the beginning to ground the reader. after that setup you could become more abstract. Spelling needs work.
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