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236 Public Reviews Given
236 Total Reviews Given
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Review of Black Eyed Smile  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
A simple, short, and to the point poem.
It is its simplicity that makes it fun as well.
But, there is one point that needs attention: "Is a Black eyed smile."

I think this should say, "Is a Black-Eyed smile."
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Review of Free will  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Delia,

This editorial is well written. You used the stories in a way that helped you make your argument better. This is definitely a skill to further develop for the purpose of these types of writings, as well as sermons and teachings in the future.
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Okay, I just learned a new word. Now I have to find at least five opportunities to use "transpicuous" in a sentence, Once I found out the meaning of "transpicuous," I assume that the point of your poem is that "Unconditional Love" is what clearly demonstrates the existence of God. As someone who already believes in God, I agree but reading this from the perspective of a non-believer, that argument is not as clear.

I liked this poem though. And, I liked it very much.
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Review of 1 John 4:13  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this essay quite informative. I believe you did a great job with the explanation. I have one problem with it though. I personally have a real problem with The Holy Spirit being referred to as "it."

You said, "Do you recognize and interact with it?" I believe He should always be referred to as "Him."
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
LOL! I almost fell off my chair reading this story. I couldn't find anything grammatically wrong with it, but then I was laughing so hard I probably just did not notice any. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I really did need the laugh.
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Doctor (who?),

As a student of the Word of God for over 38 years, I am looking forward to reading and reviewing these entries. I am always excited when I find someone who is willing to tackle such a valuable job.

I found only one issue, you said: "ALL scripture was at the beginning inspired of God." I have a different opinion: I believe that ALL scripture is inspired by God at ALL times. Yes, I will agree that not all that calls itself "scripture" is actually "inspired" scripture. But, ALL Scripture is inspired by God.
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Review of Heartbroken  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem is just too short. I wanted it to go on. I liked it very much. Actually, it is just right the length it is. I just wanted more.

I am an old guy, but if I was young and in love I would want my girl to feel that way about me.

I don't have any suggestions of corrections to offer, I think it is just fine as it is.
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Review of Change Coming  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
REVIEW

OVERALL The lesson of your story comes through clearly. You have a skill at using stories to teach, as our Lord Jesus did with His parables.

SUGGESTIONSThis section of the story needs grammatical attention:

Once[,] I was offered a job and given a starting pay that I never imagined. Just as my nephew received more than what he asked, God gave me more than [for] what I was asking.
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The title of this article caught my attention. One of the first things that come to my mind is that you really do love writing. It is obvious in the way that you use your language, the order in which you present your arguments, and a clear-cut structure of the article itself. It is a good thing that you have found this website because it will present you with the opportunity to not only write but as is the desire of all writers, to get reactions from others.

I have found, that the best way to get comments, reactions, and reviews from people and this site is to offer plenty of gift points. Normally I offer between 1 to 2000 GPs.

Without passion, you'll give up. Passion is the energy inside your heart that will support you during difficult times. Those people who will review your writings fall into two groups, first, there are those who review for the purpose of getting GPs. Secondly, and most importantly, are those who do reviews because they love reading and they want to encourage others to keep on writing. I am part of the second group and hope to find others who are like myself.

Thank you for sharing this with us and keep on writing.
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Review of MONSTERS  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
REVIEW

Overall: Your other article, "The Freelance Writer," motivated me to check out your portfolio. This one caught my attention.

Positive Notes: I have learned quite a bit about Rodrigo Duterte that I had not learned from the Fake News Media; CNN, and others.

Your article here will probably help others come to a better realization of the goings on in the Philippines. Thanks for writing and sharing.
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Review of Web of fears  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
REVIEW

Overall: Your short story, "The Quiet One," urged me to check out your portfolio. This poem does speak volumes about you to a counselor such as myself. But, I am not here to counsel you, am I?

Positive Notes: You have a beautiful way of expressing your feelings with the written word.

Suggestions: I would encourage you to choose to write a longer poem, but also adding color to it and maybe center the text.
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Review of The quiet one  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
REVIEW

Overall: Short and sweet. I hope it is not a confession.

Positive Notes: To the point.

Suggestions: Maybe it could have ben just a smidgin longer.

Errors/typos:

at her local cafe and every noise
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I recommend the following. I have made some suggestions for corrections and included them here.

Her silence was enough.
She need not say a word anymore.
Everything she's ever said is now finished.
The pain in her heart, the wall that she's built brick by brick,
is for her heart and spirit's own protection.
She sheds only a single tear.
She's been hurt too many times by too many.
So, if you do see her,
the answers you may seek will be behind her hazel eyes.
The one that seeks to understand her will then understand
that's not a look of fear or hopelessness at all.
It is the look of a warrior who isn't giving up as one would think.
But, it's when you see her pain behind her hazel eyes,
that is when the world will see her real accomplishment.
As painful as it may seem, in that very first moment
when one sees the look of determination in her,
she's not giving up on herself.
She is giving up and letting go of the many people
she once trusted or tried to trust at one time.
They caused unmeasurable pain in her heart in the very beginning
and then they were gone.
So, let go of those who have already gone.
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
REVIEW

Overall: I read only the first paragraph, which was lengthy. Your topic is clear and well articulated, but it lacks careful attention to grammar.

Positive Notes: It seems as though it will ultimately be a useful article.

Suggestions: It needs grammatical attention. I suggest Gammarly, and it is free of charge.

Errors/typos:

1. Writing is like breathing the air, [it] should be done in a natural way because it's part of our everyday life.
2. The more you practice, the more you get better - should be "the better you get"
3. In the "Old Days[,]" the art
4. most of them [belong] to the middle-class
5. Nevertheless, as time [passed] the art of writing
6, Just [as] in my case, I've been working
7. As supervisor[,] my main job
8. Based on my [experience] and observation,
9. Those who can write well often than not [get] the advantage
10. appreciate the quality of my [paperwork] hence[,] I've earned

The rest needs careful rereading and corrections.
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Review of Anticipation  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
REVIEW

Overall: Short ans sweet, and cute.

Positive Notes: Nice flow. Easy to read.

Suggestions: I did not get the "sunken in a corner" part. This is a tree that you are speaking of, right?
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Review of Bottle  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
REVIEW

Overall: Nice poem, but it feels incomplete. It was like was expecting more to be said.

Positive Notes: I like the pattern you followed thoughout - 3 lines per stanza.

Suggestions: Maybe color and centering.
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Here are 30000 GPs for the contest and the Merit Badge.
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
angeljstanton

REVIEW

Overall: A bit dark and slightly tough, but right on the mark. Racism from any person, black, white, brown, or others, should never be accepted or ignored.

Positive Notes: Nice grouping of the stanzas 5 lines per.

Suggestions: Maybe add color and center the poem.
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Review of Roses are Red  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
REVIEW

Overall: Powerfully impacting. The emotion shows through clearly. But, it hit close to home for me. My father left when I was three.

Positive Notes: Nice pattern. The flow was good.

Suggestions: Separate the last two stanzas.

Errors/typos:

Roses are red, violets are blue
I wished you dead and out of my head.

Roses are red, violets are blue.
I wish you were someone I never knew!
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Review of A Thorn  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
REVIEW

Overall: I think you meant "thorn" throughout the poem. Not "thrones," such as in what a king or queen sits upon. If I am right, then the poem makes sense.

Positive Notes: Nice use of words in several places.

Suggestions: I recommend color and centering.

Errors/typos: Some typos

1. He seen a throne -- He saw a thorn
2. He shown great care -- He showed great care
3. She seen a God in him -- She saw a God in him
4. As time went on the changes was clear -- As time went on the changes were clear
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
REVIEW

Overall: Nice poem, but it did not feel passionate, as the content implies.

Positive Notes: You obviously took the time to consider all the ways you are affected in the relationship.

Suggestions: Using the "show mode" as compared to the "tell mode" would have made a big difference.

Errors/typos: {/bAn example of the "show mode" is this: "There is an emptiness in my heart when you are not near" as compared to I feel sad when you are not near. OR "At the sight of you, I can feel the beat of my heart increase so much that I am afraid it will burst with my love for you." OR "When you hold me it's like when the clouds cradle the moon in their soft embrace."

1. I feel at peace when [I] am with you
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Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Zen,
Thank you are a well-writing article. I have, to date, 16 books on Amazon, and in the case of some of them, I think your ideas may help me draw more attention to them. One book, in particular, "Stranded: And They Are Not Leaving," especially needs more TLC. It is one of only two sci-fi books I wrote. The rest are books on counseling and Christian based themes. The book I mentioned above, was different in many ways. I woke up on a Sunday morning, and instead of preparing for church, I got on my computer and started typing. I finished 32 chapters in one week. Of course, it took me a long time of editing, and editing, and editing, to finish it. But, once I did publish it, it was kind of like letting the air out of a balloon. It did not get the attention I expected or wanted. I have sent, included, attached, and inserted, descriptions, outlines, remarks, and comments anywhere and everywhere hoping to get people to go and check out the book. Like all authors, I think my book is simply amazing and should be made into a movie. I think I will try doing things a bit different. I am going to give your idea a go. Won't hurt anything, and It may make some difference. Thank you for your article.
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Review of flowers  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I liked the poem, but there were some typos that distracted from the sheer pleasure of it. I made some corrections and suggestions. Also, I added some color to recommend and encourage you to use color.

Flowers are known as beautiful things, a gesture of love on Valentine's Day.
They symbolize everything positive, nothing negative whatsoever.
Flowers = love.
Love is known as a beautiful thing as well, smiles, intimate contact, marriage, all supposed to be happy.
But anyone who has been through love knows it's not all happy, there are tears, hatred, yelling, fighting, etc.
Love has its bad side.
Everything has its bad side.
Just like flowers.
Some of them have thorns.
Just like you.
You are beautiful, you smile and laugh at school or at work, and you never seem down, until you get home to your empty apartment.
In dead silence, you walk through the door and look around the room, and you feel alone.
You are beautiful just like a flower, but you also have thorns.
That's okay.
I do too.
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Review of Bipolar 2  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
REVIEW

Overall: I quite enjoyed the piece. It is illuminating about a subject many find puzzling. As a counselor, I, at times, deal with clients who struggle with this in their lives.

Positive Notes: The writing was well done. Making it prose helps it be more attractive to some people to read who would not normally be drawn to this subject.

Suggestions: Keep up the good work.

Errors/typos: {/bNone
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Review of English is Easy  Open in new Window.
Review by PastorJuan Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem was quite easily sound
And the arguments made were quite round.
And, though no errors were found
I found not a bit nor a mound.
The great points in it did abound
and I give it the value of many a pound.
Thank you for writing so basic and ground.
I enjoyed enough to wish you a crown.
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