I loved this short but strong write. I am always happy to see positive pieces which have had an impact on the authors life. I also have a similar poem which I recite daily and it too helps me through.
Fav Part: "My mind is in another place" This is me to a tee, I am a scatter brain.
I enjoyed your write. We have some common areas as seen through my work and this piece. The flow was consistent making for easy reading.
Fav Part: "I am not the lamb or the wolf
I am the lamb dressed as the wolf" I have often thought of myself in a similar way. I really enjoy finding that special part of a work which I can relate to.
A very enjoyable piece. I particularly like the alternating rhythmic patter which ensured the flow was smooth making for easy reading.
Fav Part: "He has managed to steal
All of me, all that I am,
My heart nor my life will not heal.
This time I don’t give a damn." I enjoyed this part the most as it reminded me of my ex and the things he did to me.
Hi, I am Violet, the Juggling Nun, your Troubadour shipmate! I am so sorry to see that you had to deal with your fathers passing. My condolences and prayers. You bio blew mine away...its a poof of dust now. lol. You touched on many things! My fav movie is Tommyboy too...Loved Chris Frley. Gypsy proposed I be "Christie Farley" on the ship, so thats what Im doing. I hate liars too. Ummmm..yeah, a guy farted in my face once and I dont think he knows I know, but I did, and it was pretty gross. Kinda made him go form supermodel to "Fartman" in a minute. lol. Wht would someone fart in your face? Is that a token of appreciation...kinda like belching to the Cook? I dunno. lol. Anyyyyway....I also loved much ado about nothing...with emma thompson...great actress...I love tivial pursuit and "Flowers in the Attic was awesome...Its how I have been living for over six months now, minus the rat-poisoning Grandma or the bro-sis incest. Liked the bio, and whenever you need a laugh, Nikki, I am here!!! You are a gemini, and I am a leo-virgo. (on the cusp) Always got along well with Gemini's!! They are too funny! "Ahhhooooyyy"
I always enjoy reading your work. This piece really pulled at my emotions as I felt both pain and excitement.
Fav Part: "Yet, I am at the edge, the brink of making history." I liked this part the most as I can clearly see the excitement you have for embarking on this new adventure.
Very strong message you relay with your work. I enjoyed the write for the message which it delivers. I thought it had a consistent flow which made for pleasurable reading.
Fav Part: "NO NO NO! Time true Patriots stand and shout “Impeach these Bums!”" I couldn't agree more. How many more Americans must suffer before we take back the control over our future.
Interesting story. I was really impressed by the choice of some of vocabulary which added to this already descriptive and captivating work.
Fav Part: "In one quick motion her walking staff flew to her, she mounted it and whirred off the ground. Some ways off, she halted and turned back." I enjoyed this part the most because it reminded me of the classical witch scene.
Loved your poem. I am also a sappy love poem type. I especially liked the rhythmic patter which made the flow of the poem rum smoothly.
Fav Part: "I love the man, so cold, alone,
eternal stranger doomed to roam
who haunts my nights; he gives, but keeps
what chains him as his prison sleeps." As I stated above I enjoy love poems and I can relate to this part as it sounds like me.
I really enjoy reading your work with it's consistent flow and rhyming patter. The flow is always smooth and makes for enjoyable reading. We share like opinions and topics perhaps you should check out some of my work.
Fav Part: "Finding lost pets is truly a blessing,
Hands posting signs and calling around." As someone who has lost a pet which was later returned I couldn't agree more with this.
I enjoyed your write. I love the way you hold the readers attention making them want to read on.
Fav Part: "Continue to strive for greatness,
And live free – " I enjoyed this part as it sounds just like me, I always strive for greatness which from time to time also causes my demise.
Suggestions: I would work on the spacing in this poem, I think with a little time you could make this work a lot easier to read.
I enjoyed your write. I have to admit I was laughing throughout as I am a girl and it is funny to read as a girl. I liked your rhythmic patter which you followed to the end. The flow made the work easy to read.
Fav Part: " If she is already hot, garnish with fruit.
If she is frozen, set aside, use substitute." As a girl I think more men should follow this it would make life so much easier for us girls. lol
I enjoyed your write. I think that we share some very similar views.
Fav Part: "So open up your hardened hearts
And let God enter in –" I enjoyed this part I think that if more people would let god in the world be a much better place, which I express is some of my pieces check them out.
Suggestions: I would try and play with the spacing a little, you may find a way to make the poem easier to read.
If this isn't the best Satire I have read on WDC. I really enjoyed your piece it had me rolling on the floor as I am a Para-legal. lol I would love to read more.
Fav Part: "The playa’ who loved you.
The employer who snubbed you.
Even the proctologist
who roughly rubber-gloved you." Well, I can relate to the first two parts already and I am sure by the end of my life the proctologist will follow too. lol
I enjoyed your write. I too write many love poems so it is easy for me to relate. I enjoyed the interesting perspective you showed throughout.
Fav Part: "Recapturing the passion and longing
For each other’s company." As I also enjoy writing love poems I could see myself expressing my feelings in a similar way.
Wow, you did an excellent job relaying a message which more people need to hear. I am against all of the fighting and wars as well. I enjoyed your rhythmic patter as it made the work easy to read.
Fav Part:" So much of the world seems to be at war!
What or who is everyone fighting for?
Why do we feel?
To whom do we pray?" I liked that this was how you opened your piece sounds like something that I just emailed a friend of mine.
Good write! Not only was this in correct form, but it also educates the reader about the form, nice to see that there are still authors out there thinking about those who are just starting out.
Fav Part: "struts in secret deception." How very true this statement is, I have felt this way many times.
Nice work, I enjoyed reading your work it is written in a unique way, which gave me a fresh feeling.
Fav Part: "And even now as I’m in that middle ground
I feel the groaning and creaking
Of time
And the ‘wondering why’
Of all this." To me this is the thing more people should ask themselves.
I don't usually read short stories, but couldn't resist this due to the fact that it was about doctors. I liked it, I think you could give ER, House or any of the like a run for thier money.
Fav Part: "Gently he turned her face toward his. The dimples in his cheeks deepened with his smile. “Hey, lady, I operated on you. I know what you look like on the inside.”" This sounds like a reply I would get from a Doctor at my bedside.
Triple rhymes I think you made it work here. I always like to see others trying new things it is what will make you a more rounded author. I hope to read more of your work soon.
Fav Part:"Closed eyes, my prize, comes to me as I fantasise." I often find myself doing just this as it is all that I can do.lol
Beautiful poem...If this is about your husband though, wouldnt you already know this and not be wondering? Kinda ctrange collaberation of a poem and a decription of the poem itself. Ooops, I am sorry, this was written six years ago. So, you are 25 and married? I hope your husband fulfills all that you have set forth in this peoem that you waited for! Its beautifullucky to have you, and you...well, I dont know him, but I hope you are lucky to have him.
Fav Part:
"We will work through problems together;
Every storm we will weather.
I know you're out there somewhere and somehow, some way;
When the time is right, we'll find each other."
This is exactly the way I feel about finding my future husband..only Im 4 years older than you! Im not tying the knot tho, until I know its forever and always. Diesnt that make me such a square? Actually, it makes me smart and wise. I will only marry once. Thats the whole purpose, right? I hope you are very happy, it seems like it!
Are you okay?? Youre friends sound like azzes..excuse the french. I am so sorry you feel this way about your friends! Why dont you just drop all of them now? They obviously only have you as a friend so they can torment you or make fun of you..youre therir clown, do you have a painted face and a huge big red circular sponge hanging from your nose? I dont think you do, I do think you know what you should do and this poem is highly saddening. Why in the end, so you pray, they wont take you with them? Are they threatening you? Are you worried they are going to kidnap you and banish you to another country with no rights you will have? This scares me. I care about people, all of them. No friend would EVER make you feel like you are a gang member or apart of a clique you cannot break free from, especially if they are using you for a laugh. Keep your chin up and do in your heart what is right. I believe you already know the answer to that! Good luck to you, I am here if you need to talk. This wasnt a good feeling. Never let someone suck you down, with friends like that, who needs enemies? They are already at your doorstep, pretending to be something they arent. Truth is friendship, healing is friendship, not deception, destruction, and lies.
Fav Part?
"I do not need friends like that so the
can go take there cold harts and leave
just please don’t take me!!!"
Awesome and powerful at the end Meg. You deserve more than this. Promise me you wont allow this to continue.
I have one word for this poem. Methodical. It had a good flow, but the contents were a mixed contradiction of what you want out of life! Do you want to take over the workld or be lazy, the two dont go hand in hand. I liked some lines, just the whole gave me a feeling that you have some hidden ego just waiting to destroy all through being tired and lazy. This was very perplexing. Maybe you can allow me to understand this better. It seems I cant understand anyone lately. If you lived in my shoes, you'd know why. lol.
This was amazing...the whole contents within it! All of it was freat...I was creeped out at first, then I realzed what so many females do, when enough is enough. I think this story just shows how strong women are, even if they are being influenced and clouded in their thinknig in everyway. One day, they get it, and they leave their horrible abusers or fallen heroes, what hero would try and slowly kill a woman, so percious anyway? None worth staying for. I loved this story. One of empoewerment and justification, and what goes on behind closed foors that nobody sees except the most clouded and weak person...the woman, and the victim. Wonderful!
Fav Part?
" He fears the powerless state he is in at this moment. She bends, and after a moment, as his eyes begin to fade, and again the breathing slows, she whispers.
“I forgive you.”
Pressing the bottle in his cold, withered hand, she walks out the door."
This was too cute! My daughter is three and she already has to have all the latest fashions and loves to dress up and loves new shoes. Shes three! lol. Little people are just the cutest with their personalities growing into a future grown-ups. This story was so enjoyable, Axe, Hufh? Hes quite the little Ladies boy already! This made me smile. It is the description of both parent and child at that critical first stage of caring about things, like their looks. If only they coild learn to clean up after themselves and not make tornadoes in their room and in the house and it takes about as long as a tornados destruction takes for it to happen. 2 minutes or less. lol. Your son sounds like a wonder. My daufghter also has a little boyfriend already. Im worried how she'll be when shes in High School, or Middle School. Oh the joys of parenting. lol. Its worth it though, so much!
Fav Part:
""Johnny says to watch out when you put on Axe, because it makes the girls like you." Pause. "Johnny gots a girlfriend. You have to be cool to get a girlfriend."
"Oh yeah?" I said. "What makes you cool?"
"Axe," he answered simply. And with that, we finally left the house, in an aromatic cloud of "Phoenix" scented body spray."
Awwwww...You have a Don Juan already, and I have a lil Cleopatra. lol.
Thanks for sharing!
Blessings to your son and to you!
Keep it up.
Cute poem. Simple, myserious, and I am imagining either you have children or grandchildren, but are hiding something else in that closet that makes you feel bashful, if discovered. Very witty.
Favorite Part?
"Held within it's dark enclosure
do forgotten treasures hide
held within these dust covered objects
do memories abide"
Keep this up.
Violet
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