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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/puppetmaster84
Review Requests: ON
236 Public Reviews Given
246 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I will say what I liked about your piece and if I have any suggestions for improvement. My reviews are usually short, sweet and to the point. I prefer to review short stories but will look at poetry if asked to.
I'm good at...
finding mistakes with grammar/punctuation. Also I can let you know if your plot is effective.
Favorite Genres
Religious, romance, sci-fi, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
erotica,sports
Favorite Item Types
Statics - short stories
I will not review...
anything overly sexual or violent, anything anti-Christian
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 ... Next
1
1
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello HuntersMoon, PM here to review your story.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

It's charming and cute. I like it. It's a fun and cute read.

I would recommend italicized your character's inner thoughts.

Good job, and congrats on the win!

PM
2
2
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Lou, PM here to review your poem.

I found it on the "Read & Review" tab.

I like it. The metaphor works, and the poem has a universal quality that many people can relate to.

I see nothing to fix or improve upon.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
3
3
Review of Trees  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello Leslig, PM here to review your item.

Welcome to Writing.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here. Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Onto your piece:

I like the message and the lesson.

The only suggestion I have for improvement is to "tell" less and "show" more. Instead of saying how your character feels, you could reveal it through his actions and words.

It is still a good start. Keep writing!

PM
4
4
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Spidey, PM here to review your vignette.

It is well written. I like the diction and imagery.

I see nothing to fix. If you wanted to you could expand it into a story but it works as a vignette the way it is. It is an enjoyable read.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
5
5
Review of The Gift  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Wordsmith John, PM here to review your story.

It is a charming and well-written vignette. I like the diction and the imagery.

I do have a couple of notes for improvement:

The story is completely "told" rather than "shown". Rather than saying what your character thinks you could reveal it by what she says and does.

Also, the sudden change from past tense to present tense is distracting. I would recommend having the whole story in one tense or the other.

It is still a great story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
6
6
Review of Homeward Bound  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello HuntersMoon, PM here to review your poem.

It is beautiful, well-written, and flawless. I see nothing to improve. It's perfect.

Well done and congrats on the win!

PM
7
7
Review of On This Night  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Purple Holiday Princess, PM here to review your poem.

It is a nice, festive poem. I like the rhymes.

I see no errors.

Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

PM
8
8
Review of Snowflake  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Amethyst Snow Angel, PM here to review your poem.

It is beautiful and profound. I see nothing to improve.

Good luck in the contest!

PM
9
9
Review of Traditions  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave, PM here to review your poem.

It's cute and festive, with good diction.

I see nothing to fix.

Good job and I wish you luck in the contest.

PM
10
10
Review of Turkey, Anyone?  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Espero, PM here to review your story.

It's an interesting and believable story.

I would modify the sentence structure. You have several sentences with commas in the middle. It would read better if you broke them up into separate sentences.

Good luck in the contest!

PM
11
11
Review of Ki and Education  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, PM here to review your item.

It is well written and profound.

The only issues I see are the lack of punctuation and that the starts of sentences are not capitalized. It would read better as an essay with standard punctuation.

It is still an outstanding piece. With a little technical editing it would be even better.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
12
12
Review of Stare-master  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Foxtale, PM here to review your story.

Thank you for the review request.

The diction and characterization are good. However, there isn't really a plot. While it's a good start, there is room for expansion.

It works as a vignette, however for a story it would need more of a plot arch.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!
13
13
Review of The Ocean  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Joy,

This is a beautiful poem. I see nothing to fix.

Congrats on the awardicon!

Good job and keep writing!

PM
14
14
Review of Hidden Witness  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Purple,

This poem is very dramatic and charged with energy and emotion. I see nothing that needs to be fixed, although the ending seems to come mid- thought and the reader is left hanging. You could resolve that but even if you don't it still reads well.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
15
15
Review of Tools  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello QueenNormaJean, PM here to review your flash fiction.

It's great. The descriptions and setting are well established and the diction is good. I like the play on words, too.

I see nothing to fix or improve.

Good job!

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
16
16
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Vanishing Vapor,

This is a great poem! I like the diction and how it tells a story. It would make a great song if you set it to music.

The rhythm in the third and fourth stanzas could be tweaked a little but otherwise I see nothing to fix or improve.

Great job, and congrats on the win!

PM
17
17
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Michelle, PM here to review your poem.

I am sorry for your loss. This poem is a beautiful, touching tribute to your mom. It is moving and I see nothing to fix or improve.

Writing about your loss is a healthy way to process your grief. I offer my condolences.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
18
18
Review of Payback  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Purple Princess, PM here to review your story.

It's a good start. The diction is good, however I think you could build on it more. It ends mid thought and doesn't have a resolution. Also it has a lot of telling as opposed to showing.

Despite this, it has potential. With a little more work it could be a great story.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing!

PM
19
19
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jimmy Fog, PM here to review your poem.

I like the diction and the imagery. It is very well written. I see nothing to fix or improve.

I see you are fairly new to W.com. Welcome! Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Good job on this poem, and keep writing!

~ PM
20
20
Review of Perfection  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello tjlorz, PM here to review your poem.

Welcome to W.com! I hope you will enjoy your time here. Please let me know if there is any way I can be of help.

Onto your poem:

It is profound, relatable and well written. I see nothing to fix or improve on.

Good job and keep writing!

PM
21
21
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Strychnine, PM here to review your poem.

It's beautiful, touching and poignant. The rhythm could be refined a little but otherwise I see nothing to fix.

Good job, and keep writing!

PM
22
22
Review of Morning  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jacky, PM here to review your story.

It's touching and sad, but well written. It is mostly told rather than shown and there is room to expand if the contest's word limit allows. The first sentence is a sentence fragment.

It's still a good story. Thanks for sharing!

PM
23
23
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Butturbug,

Welcome to W.Com! I hope you will enjoy your time here.

I am happy to read that you found what you were looking for. W.Com is a great community and I expect you will enjoy it.

I see nothing to fix in your item.

Please let me know if there's anything I can help with.

PM
24
24
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Happy to Write,

This is a profound and beautiful piece. I agree with the message.

Just a couple of edits:

"that" in the middle of the third paragraph should be capitalized.

"They're" in the fifth paragraph should be "their".

Still a great piece! Thanks for sharing!

PM
25
25
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Fyn, PM here to review your poem.

It is profound and well-written. I like the metaphors and see nothing to improve.

Thanks for sharing!

PM
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