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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jerseyknight
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574 Public Reviews Given
576 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Run  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I liked how you were able to keep my attention while writing about this woman's horrible life.
I think it is hard to write about such tragic circumstances and keep the reader hooked. I like how in paragraph 6 you have her getting revenge. You did a great job on this.
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Review of Taboo Questions  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Polygamy makes men happier then women. I have ancestors that were polygamists and the women all fought with each other.
It lead to a very bitter environment.

There obviously should be means testing to qualify for welfare. There are some people who probably should get it longer than others.

When you get older and if you are not then in a relationship, you might then find a huge lonely void in your life if you do not have children.

An 18 yr old and a 19 year old should be able to get married in my opinion. Where they should or not is their decision.
I like your opinion survey.
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Review of Greater Good  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like how you bring the readers personal philosophy into the story. I like how the bright clouds and the golden gates are over there and the story teller is over on the bright clouds. Without preaching you show how it is the readers choice to go through the gates, be left on the clouds or be maybe be left with nothing at all. If one does not believe.

Great Nonpreaching, but got the message across story.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Alone on the streets of Mumbai. Now he will have to steal someone else's cell phone to be able to get off the streets.
How cold and hard that person was. He tried and had such a good heart trying to help the old woman. It is like he was thrown away.

The only problem I saw with the story is that you have the person walking down the road while using a stationary phone booth.

“Arey, I’m not deaf! Who are you bhaisaheb?” Mamaji walked briskly along the road, as he spoke into the phone.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Music can be so healing and peaceful. I tried to look up Shiloh, but did not find anything.
My favorite is Magnificent Void by Steve Roach.
Have you heard of heartsofspace.com? It is free on Sundays. It is an ambient space music website that at times plays music for Isis.
I enjoyed reading this and knowing that other people feel the same way I do.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
The concert started out so prim and proper it was unimaginable that something could go wrong.
The old Maestro reeked havoc trying to get revenge. What a sore loser!
This was an excellent story. I saw nothing that needed changing or improving, it was just great as is.
Good Job!
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)

That was a surprising, hair raising ending!
I am not going to ever be able to read another ghost story without thinking of this one.
That was quiet haunting!

I found this one group of sentences awkward. It might be possible to combine them and have it easier to read.
I begged them for some time; only really special cases. It stopped. You must be one of the ‘special’ cases.”

Great Job!
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Review of Self Made Prison  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well written description of depression. You show the hopelessness, despair, but you also go on to show how difficult it is for a person who is depressed to see anything positive.
This is a great example of how depression creates this whirlwind feeling and the sensation of sinking deeper where it is hard to get out.

Some days it is difficult to wake up early in the morning, throw open the curtains, stretch your arms to the ceiling and smile, but if we force ourselves the heavy weight gradually lifts and we can truly enjoy the morning.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
It seems you have had a hard road and are seeing your way through it. Writing is an excellent part in the recovery process.
I find your writing to be rushed. You have so much to share, but say it all so quickly. You might benefit from just making things longer.
I thought that this at first was a biographical piece, but then discovered that the mental hospital was closed down when you said you were there. Either biographical or fictional this was well written.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is good to know that most people are seeing things the same as I do. What I do not understand is why so many people stated Bill Clinton when the economy was so good then.
I just do not understand what they think makes a good president. It would be interesting to know why they feel he was a bad president.
Great Poll!
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Review of FOREVER  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW
This is INCREDIBLE!
I loved how the beginning sounded like a classic. Not being well read I am not knowlegable enough to know who to compare it to except Kahil kabran. It had that rhythmic not verse but intelligence that leaves one feeling WOWED
The ending was a total surprise.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This truly is love.
You are an excellent writer.
This is a relaxing feel good read.

I love this quote from your father: ""Son, marriage is like a job. It is also probably the hardest job you will ever have in your life. The one difference between a job and a marriage is that with marriage, you never get to retire."

Excellent!
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Well you certainly feel open to share your opinions and have opened your self up for cricticsm by asking for it::
In the first stanza you bash the President without reason
Second stanza is more of the same.
the third was no less offensive
by the forth you have continue to criticise without offering anything to back it up.
To come across as not just a complainer it helps to have actual things to complain against.
Here it just came across as complaining.

I do like how your poem was written, however. It is in great form.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Marylin's love is killed in war and then she longs for his cousin then falls for Sir Robert. I liked reading this story because of the way it was told. It was a great story describing what life and romance was like back in the 1940's in Ireland.
It was a relief that after loosing her husband and daughter she once again found romance and is enjoying life.
Good Story!
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
William Conrad Chesterton is a seven year old who is being severely beaten and is in a terrible living situation. This is a well written tragedy that ends with hope for the future. My heart feels for this little kid. How can he turn the situation around? I hope you write more to this story.
excellent job!
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Review of DADDY'S SHOTGUN  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Merry Christmas!

I read this to see how a good writer does a hostage scene, as I seem to have a bit of problem with mine.
You keep the story going instead of drawing all that was said and how long and intense it was.
I like how the story is short and ends on a positive.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is so Deep! I feel your pain of your love not showing up and how heart broken you must feel. You have a really good way of describing the depth of your pain and describe well how it feels. It makes me remember the losses that I have had in my life.

This part was my favorite: I was not alone there, you see. Beside me sat countless men and women, hoping for one last chance, one last word; one last way to get the one they love see that despite their shortcoming, their heart was true. It is so sad. But I had to write these words today. Because unless I do not let it out somehow; I will be demonized by it all. Sure the pain will remain; the sunsets when I close my eyes will be there; arm in arm, yet still alone. When I see two lovers hold hands and smile, I will think, why wasn’t it us? When all the useless things each day pass and my mind will not stop thinking of her; I will wish that it was not so. Like all of us. Indeed there are times that a relationship needs to end. But finally, when it is over, because of something stupid, or unsaid, or even said.

You are so well spoken!
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great story! I am so relieved!
I hope you successfully quit smoking and live a long happy life without drinking.
Congratulations on getting published. This is also why I like WDC. The support of people you
become friends with. Congradulations for being strong and going through that awful treatment, so you can
live. That was a fight I am glad you won!
I bet you look at life a lot differently now.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is outrageous. I think you should report that doctor to the board of medicine for how he treated you. That neck surgery you had is know to be very painful and uncomfortable. I am surprised that you were on methadone and not liquid morphine. It just seems that you were treated very badly.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought that it was not ethical to treat a person with cancer who was having excruciating pain and not give them enough pain medication. I think that his other patients need to be made aware of his lack of adequate treatment of patients. I am enraged! This is not right!
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am praying that the cancer leaves and does not return. The sufffering that you went through sounds horrific. I hope that you have a good support system to help you throught this. You have not mentioned listening to music. Sometimes music really helps people relax and feel more comfortable. I pray that you get better.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can't imagine what your going through. When I was a child I had 12 teeth pulled in 2 days. Some of the teeth were adult teeth and some were childrens teeth. It was very painful. I was hysterical. (kicked the dentist between the legs and tried to break out the windows too) It was awful. I can't imagine how you had a tooth pulled without pain meds...

The neck surgery sounded uncomfortable. I hope the chemo or radiation goes well for you.
I pray that you beat the cancer and get well.
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
First let me tell you I am sorry for the misery you must be going through. It sounds like you have really been throught the wringer. Second let me tell you, I just heard on the radio the other day on NPR that they have found that if people get a lot of exercise they are less likely to have a second bout of breast cancer. I might be exercising a lot if I had cancer. My prayers are with you!
Good Luck
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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
AND! You have written a good suspensul story. So does it turn out to be Peggy the hairy man from Russia like on the TV commericial, it is a rommance story, so probably will not be jack the ripper.
You have a good writing style that makes this a joy to read.
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Review of INTO THE BONEYARD  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a creepy story! Guy goes as far as getting into a coffin to have sex with a girl and gets trapped in the coffin.
I like how you gave the reader visuals with using the bolt of lightening to show what was visible to the other character.
Good story!
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