I too have been in a coma. This was a very interesting read for me, since I can relate to this kind of experience. The strangest part of my experience was when I woke up and I did not know what was real and what was not real. For example, I lost my hearing aids, which cost 4000 dollars. For two weeks after I woke up I worried about them. My mom finally told me the EMTs brought them home. I also paid a lot of people money with my credit card to do things for me, because I couldn't do them myself. I worried about my credit card bill. This was really interesting too me. Thank you for writing. I think you could improve the writing by telling more detail. I think people would be interested in reading more. I am trying to write about my experience, but I am a gutless wonder. I have no courage.
That was a nice little story. The title caught my interest and kept it untill I figured out why it was titled "The Wager". There is a message in the story, I always like to get a message out of my reading. It was about the right length for the story, an appropriate amount of detail. I really considered it a good write.
The fourth paragraph down doesnt make sense. I get the idea but it needs to be rewritten. This piece is too wordy. The second line where you say "to the best of my ability" that is implied. anybody that does this is doing the best they can. You imply that presentation is what differentiates between great and in the middle, so what is presentation? It obviously important. So what is it|?
The biggest criticism that i have is that the piece sounds like it is for newbies. The purpose is to help reviewers. However you use terms like consistency and presentation and you dont explain what you mean. If you write something for people to enjyoy then they dont have to understand every point you make, but if you write to help somebody then if they dont understand what you mean then its doesnt serve its purpose.
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