You writing is very disturbing. You leave readers with half version of the truth. Your message that many Muslims are peaceful gets very lost in your desperate attempt to paint our religion as all about war. No one would believe that there is even one peaceful practising real Muslim out there if they believed your article.
You spread hate and lies and it is sad when so many are reading and being mislead by your work.
"The Koran was finished and written mostly by Abu Bakr, Mohammed’s successor. So, one may ask, what does that matter? Well, other than the fact that Allah didn’t write it and neither did his prophet"
This is totally inaccurate. It is laughable. If you don't believe that the Quran is the direct word of God then just say so. No one is expecting a non-Muslim to believe that it is. But it is laughable when you suggest that it was written by Abu Bakr. Why not Aisha? She was very close to the Prophet and was one the greatest reporters of his sayings. The problem is that you want to bring Islam down, one way or another. Your attempts are weak and very sad.
In my previous e-mails I have suggest to you that we talk about peace. Muslims do not agree with suicide bombings and terrorism. You keep talking about what you think the leaders should do, but why do you not want to discuss what you and I should do. I want to tell people about the real Islam. The peaceful Islam. What do you want to do?
It seems to me your aim is to spread hate. By mixing terrorism, suicide bombings and Islam, you want to confuse the lines. While you yourself know that violence has no place in Islam.
"I know that there are different forms of jihad, but I am obviously talking about the suicide bomber type"
There is no suicide type jihad again you want your reader to believe that there is. Jihad is first and foremost an inner personal struggle. Nothing to do with picking up a weapon. Yes there is jihad in Islam, but it is about defence, not beheading innocent people, and not suicide bombings.
I know there is no point in telling you this. But when such articles are written it is the job of every reader to start typing.
This is a very interesting article. You are right about how one can pray anywhere and no one can stop that. I love the freedom I have to pray where ever I want and I find that really useful.
As A Muslim I am commanded by God to pray five times a day. While as a woman I can do this behind closed doors (men should go to a mosque) this prayer is still quite public.
From an early age at school I had get permission for a room so that I could pray in. It is not an easy task when you are so young. I have always loved praying so it wasn't a question of others telling me this is what I should do. However, living in a Christian country I have to accept that it will not be easy to find a place to pray and at school over the years it proved difficult. But there were some wondeful teachers who were very accomodating. Sadly, though the task should not fall on their shoulders. It should be everyones right to have a place to pray, not something they need to struggle for.
I found your conclusion about confusing. For example, this heading 'Schools are in any case incompetent to teach acts of faith' reads a bit awkwardly.
I think it would be great if schools allowed religious teachers of various faiths to come in and teach the kids whatever they wished to know, whilst also learning about other faiths. I think though that when it comes to practicing religion should not be forced on to kids, but they should have the freedom to practice it, like I did with that prayer room.
This is a lovely piece and I enjoyed reading it, but I think it's main weakness and this may help you as it is a contest entry, is that it sounds more like a poem than an article.
It reads very well, but I was expecting more explaination and longer sentences.
Beautiful work nevertheless and all the best with the contest
You have described well our complexities and how we find meaning and understanding.
I felt the piece had potential, but thought that perhaps more explaination for your line of thinking was needed. It seems that you jump right into this, and a more solid intro. might help.
always between me and the outside. - seems like the word 'world' is missing from the end of this.
This is an amazing story. I think you should try and get it published.
I really enjoyed reading it and what an ending!
I felt you were too hard on yourself. I hated the water and you had reason to hate it. You have achieved so much though. I can't believe you built a pool. A very cool idea you had about the scuba diving equipment.
A very inspiring story. Well done!
Dreams
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I loved the title of this piece as it is my goal and when one has such a huge goal it is important to work on reaching it.
This is a nice piece. I felt it did not move me as I would have liked. Saying that there is a very positive message within it. I love it when people use their writing talent in this way to convey such good thoughts.
I think the style worked well with the contrasting line verses nicely matching up.
I think it would take courage to attend a workshop of this kind. Well done for doing that. I am glad you benefited from the experience.
I think I understand what you mean about hiding behind poetry. It can have so many meanings and so no one is exactly sure what you mean. I find personal articles hard to write as they are very open and rarely have two meanings.
There were some beautifully expressed lines in this piece. Like here " the protective coating of the pill was sucked away, leaving the bitter tablet for me to swallow."
I think it is great that you are better able to handle the reviewing process. I am like you in that one negative review seems to have more weight than a positive one. That is a great loss.
This is a very touching piece. It is sweet that you wrote this for another member. I am sure they loved it.
I have never lossed someone close to me, but I think you give very good advice in this piece. I thought the ending was good. We are not alone in our grief and perhaps by keeping busy and looking around us, it might not lesson the pain, but at least we continue to put something good back in the world.
You're never alone God's there every day, - I think there needs to be a full stop after alone. If you changed that though it might interrupt the flow.
A very powerful piece. I am impressed by how you touched on so many complex and sensitive issues in this piece.
I like others believe that suicide is a sin. However, there is a saying 'hate the action and not the person' and I think that applies in this case. Those who are feeling suicidal need our love and support. Telling them it is a sin will not usually give them a reason to live. We need to support and not condemn.
Regarding men crying - perhaps you should do a poll. I don't think women find it a problem - unless they cried like all the time, but then men might find it a problem if women did that too.
Thanks for sharing this. I wanted to reach out to your main character. Living a life of confusion and hate is very tragic.
This piece was very creative and I like the perspective from which it is written. It is something I have thought about before but not in this way.
I do wish such people would get 'proper' jobs but like this piece highlights, maybe they wish that too.
Thank you for sharing this piece. I think some compassion is needed when dealing with such people. They are not greedy business men or criminals, although they are treated like that.
I think if they had a choice they would do another job, and I am sure after reading this piece many feel very depressed at the misery they have to face on a daily basis.
Wow! What an opening. I love it. Very sad and moving. I really like the flow and rhyme used in that first verse.
"The truth, or have to face what is reality." - I think the flow is interrupted in this line. Is that comma needed?
I thought the piece was good and you conveyed your message well. However, I would have liked to have seen more of the style that was expressed in the first verse throughout the rest of the piece.
It is a powerful piece which I am sure many married will be able to relate to. Communication is so important and yet it can so easily breakdown and when it does the consequences are very high.
I thought the opening was very good. It kept my attention. You immediately address the topic and aroused interest in the reader.
"Is really so bright it doesn't make sense." - I thought this line didn't fit so well with the 'Is'.
"This daughter whose misery blots out the sun" - Love this line. Very powerful and visual.
I thought the ending could have been more complete. It didn't sound like an ending to me.
I can't imagine what you have had to deal with, and yet at the same time it is not like your foster daughter has had an easy time of it either. In society schizophrenia is so misunderstood.
This is wonderfully presented. Really cute idea. I can see that there are lots of writers gathered in certain states in America. They should conduct a psychological experiment
Glad he is OK. You had me worried there for a sec! I think you created the suspense well by the mention of the emergency services.
"a loud, but soft, thud" - I am not sure if this description works well. You focus on it quite a bit. I had to think quite a bit over it and still it doesn't quite make sense to me.
I love non-fiction and I think parents have great stories to tell and this item reflects that. Interesting stuff!
This is a really sad piece. You convey well your loss of a best friend. He seemed like a really unique person. I hope there are stories about him that you can share with your son.
I found parts of this confusing. You say here "none of them matched the pain of a broken heart. I've had more than my share of those but the worst of it was because of Brian." I got confused by the broken heart due to a failed relationship and that of grief.
In the middle of the story I was waiting for a but to come along. You say how he is a nice guy, but for some reason you expressed it in such a way that I felt that he was a nice guy and everyone liked him, but secretly there was something wrong with the friendship. Reading to the end of the piece that doesn't seem to be the case at all. Perhaps something to look at if other people mention it to.
broken digits - what is that?
"I've yet to stop morning and wonder if I ever will." - mourning
You build up the story well, with good use of storytelling, emotions etc.
I was anxious to read to the end of the piece to find out what happened. It is the ability of a good writer not to give everything away in the opening.
You wrote an interesting piece, perhaps more interesting to me as a Brit as I have heard fewer of these accounts. To me you have a story to tell and told it well. Fellow Americans perhaps will find less new information in this piece.
"I never would have made it there." I didn't understand this part. I would have thought you would write that you would do everything to get there.
I am glad your family is OK. I was delighted to get to the part of the story when you speak to your father. You built the tension up well and I could really appreciate with all the details about phone calls and smoking, what an agonising and long day it was for you.
I thought this was a nice summing up "I lost nothing but peace of mind as the world permanently changed for the worst."
I agree that the world has changed. It troubles me what decisions our leaders our now making. We didn't want to go to war and yet Blair ignore that and took us anyway. I think he will be voted in again. They call it democracy.
This is a beautiful piece. It flows really well and is very moving.
I thought this part flowed particularly well.
"You close your eyes and take your last breath.
Surrounded by us, you journey into death."
"One last memory with you, we each gain" - how about - we each of us? Does that sound better?
I really enjoyed this piece but felt it was lacking in its mention of the spiritual side to death. I believe that we don't all just end up together, it is a daily struggle in this life to end up in peace in the hereafter. I have read that on the day of judgement that all family will abandon one another - and will only be reunited in either heaven or hell.
I don't want to be too gloomy. I wanted to add that I also believe that a good child counts in favour of the parent in the hereafter.
Wishing you peace
Dreams
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Thank you so much for such support and encouragement. It doesn't take much to turn dreams into a reality, and I am sure that with support such as this the goal will be achieved.
You know it is my great desire to show an accurate picture of Islam and I think good quality books and audio materials will help to do that.
They are on the site and are free to use and hopefully more titles will be added as we get donations.
Thanks again for such great support.
Peace
Dreams
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I think the opening has the over use of the word now. You might to look at changing that.
I like the whole comparison between a person and a glove. Very well done.
Initially I thought that this line was odd 'Not quite useless'. It seemed a strange way to describe a person. But having read to the end to me it seems that your sister-in-law has gone through some changes. I am guessing they are from an illness. Perhaps you might like to add that info. to the brief description, as then one can see the impact of such an ilness.
I liked this part " fingers fidget, fumble," - as I could see it.
This is a very good piece. It does say a lot about people. How they change and yet are essentially the same. The ending was very sad. Having studied and read books on conditions such as dementia it is very sad to see the impact it has on the lives of loved ones.
Write On!
Dreams
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I liked the start of the piece. You included all the things typical of spring like daffodils. I especially liked the description about them.
I didn't like the second half but maybe I read it wrong. Is it about spring romances?
In society there is a lot of advertising for finding a partner - one of the slogans is this concept of summer love which to me sounds nonsense and cheap.
My favourite lines in the piece were "Riotous daffodils dance, are no longer encumbered,
Inside their bulbs, gladly golden heads they raise."
I can see that this is a very personal piece and it is always difficult to rate and review such pieces. I am not sure if you are looking for ways this could be improved. I didn't read it with that in mind. I read it to understand what you were feeling and thinking.
However, if you would like suggestions and improvements, just ask and I can take another look. I didn't find any typos etc. and thought the piece flowed well.
It is a very warm piece. I am sorry for your loss. I am a twin myself and appreciate all the time how God blessed me. It is a wonderful gift.
I liked this line particularly "let me love you, leave me never"
One thing I am not sure of and perhaps you can explain - but why do people speak about people as angels? I am currently writing an article about angels in Islam. We believe they do exist. But angels are very special creatures and are not human. Hence my question.
all the best and wishing you peace
Dreams
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I really liked the contrast and structure of it. I thought the first two verses worked well together. I wasn't too sure with the change in the third, but think it works OK.
I like the whole when you...format and think that a piece just with that would have been nice.
I really enjoyed reading this. Sometimes when piece like this are well written it is hard to say anything more.
I thought the ending worked well. A nice slow rhyming finish.
Great stuff!
Dreams
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This is a very touching piece. It is sweet that you wrote this for another member. I am sure they loved it.
This is wonderfully presented. Really cute idea. I can see that there are lots of writers gathered in certain states in America. They should conduct a psychological experiment 
This is a really sad piece. You convey well your loss of a best friend. He seemed like a really unique person. I hope there are stories about him that you can share with your son.
This is a beautiful piece. It flows really well and is very moving.