Hi, PureSciFi

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E) Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes! #1679316 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The story is good, and the beginning effectively captures the reader's attention, encouraging them to continue reading until the end.

It's appreciated that the author incorporated dialogue, which brings the story to life and enhances its descriptive elements. The characters are well-developed through the use of dialogue, providing detailed insights that contribute to the story's length.

The climax is in the concluding or ending part, where the secrets are revealed. Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

Being English as my second language, I have a hard time grasping the deeper main idea of the story, so I would suggest making the language for everybody so that it will not limit our readers.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, LightinMind

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E) Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes! #1679316 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story has a sense of adventure that connects well with the contest prompt about changing careers and mindsets. The characters are well-developed, and their personalities are clearly conveyed through their actions and dialogue. The ideas tied to the prompt are expressed effectively, creating an enjoyable experience. Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have concerns about the tone of the language used. It sometimes limits my understanding, as English is my second language, making it difficult for me to grasp the deeper meanings of the story. I suggest using a more accessible tone that takes into account different readers' comprehension levels.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, WriterRick

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E) Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes! #1679316 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is simple yet impactful, it aligns with the contest prompt. The flow is smooth, and each scene contributes to enhancing the narrative. The main characters are well-developed. Using the said point of view invites readers to become part of the story. It addresses the theme of changing careers after retirement. Goddluck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a couple of suggestions regarding the text. First, I believe there should be a page break between each scene. This would allow readers to adjust or breathe before diving into the next part of the story.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi,THANKFUL SONALI Love my family

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E) Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes! #1679316 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is enjoyable and presents both a positive and humorous side. You effectively described the central idea, linking it to the given prompt. The use of dialogue makes the story lively and enriches the emotions conveyed, while the ending is both funny and entertaining. Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red, and green is my suggestion.

You've just got thing thing in your head as a freak.
You've just got things in your head as a freak.


Which is why he had sent off his application to the Culture Circle Reality TV people - who did cultural episodes from around the world.
This is why he had sent off his application to the Culture Circle Reality TV people - who did cultural episodes from around the world.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Amethyst Angel 🍀

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E) Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes! #1679316 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is interesting and captures readers' attention from the beginning, leading them to follow Marie's journey until the ending, where her expectations are shattered, prompting a new start in her life, love, and career. I appreciate how you managed and developed your characters, making them relatable and expressive. The language used is accessible to everyone. The story flows well, and the sequences are organized systematically. Congratulations!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I didn't find words that may distract the flow and I have no doubts arise.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Damon Nomad

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.

Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story adheres to the contest prompt, despite having only a few scenes. It is compact and effectively captures the essence of the idea presented. The flow is good, and the characters are well-developed, clearly expressing their traits and abilities. The language is clear and accessible, making it suitable for English second language learners like me. Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and my suggestion is in green color.

What you got for me today?
What have you got for me today?

"You look thin Jerry, and pale. You feel okay?
"You look thin Jerry, and pale. Do you feel okay?

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Wandering Thoughts

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good, and it feels like a biography since it is based on a real life. We all have our unique experiences, and I can say that the life described in this story is vibrant and connects well with the prompt of the contest. The author effectively develops the identity and characteristics of the main character, which also ties into the title that resembles a circus. The narrative has a diary-like quality, reminiscent of a daily journal. Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

My only doubt is with the use of dialogue. Although the story is written in the first person, incorporating more dialogue elements could enhance the narrative and make it feel more realistic, like watching a television show. This aspect is something I felt was missing.
Thank you for your participation in the contest.

I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Prof Moriarty

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

What a Character! : Official WDC Contest  (E) Create a memorable character using the given prompt for huge prizes! #1679316 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good and captures my interest, especially in the middle part. I appreciate how it begins, with feelings and ideas presented in a moderate way. The tension builds up until the climax at the end, where the mystery unfolds and the mastermind behind the murder is revealed. The flow of the scene in the story intensifies emotions and leaves the readers contemplating the story long after it ends.

The author creates characters with distinct personal identities, contributing significantly to the story. I also admire how the author maintains the mystery, revealing it only at the end, which ties into the given prompt of the contest. Congratulations!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have a few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and my suggestion is in green.

This omelet is tasteless,” he criticized even thought it tasted good. “When will you learn to cook!”
This omelet is tasteless,” he criticized even though it tasted good. “When will you learn to cook!”

It was more to do with the relief he felt at her decision to abort.
It had more to do with the relief he felt at her decision to abort.

Dr Nudrath Ali emerged emerged from the bathtub a new person.
Dr Nudrath Ali emerged from the bathtub a new person.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Sumojo

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The story is good and the title is enticing, it creates a mystery, so my impression can be an interesting story,
It talks about childhood friendship and the memories behind it.
Each scene has its importance in the story to enhance the emotion.
The climax is when they already reveal each character and I enjoyed reading it.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have a few doubts for you to consider, I marked them in red, and green is my suggestion. Thank you.

Jake yells so to be heard above the thunder of galloping hooves and gunfire. “Oh no! The good guy’s been shot!”
Jake yells to be heard above the thunder of galloping hooves and gunfire. “Oh no! The good guy’s been shot!”

where the cowboy in the white hat attempts to halt his horse seconds before they both plummet over the edge a steep cliff overlooking raging waters.
where the cowboy in the white hat attempts to halt his horse seconds before they both plummet over the edge of a steep cliff overlooking raging waters.

there came a time in their lives they found themselves separated, living in different cities for the first time
there came a time in their lives when they found themselves separated, living in different cities for the first time


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, 👼intuey

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The given title reminds me of a movie about vampires, so my first impression is this can be a vampire and horror story.
The created body flows smoothly and the sequence is orderly and arranged properly, every scene is important to enhance the beauty of the story.

This is in the narrative style, and I missed the dialogue element.

Dialogue is the exchange of spoken words between two or more characters in a book, play, or other written work, in which it makes the story lively like watching television.

Over all the story is good and I enjoyed reading it.


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

Just like I had said, I only have doubts about the use of dialogue.
I suggest that it is more lively and realistic if we add the dialogue form.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, PureSciFiPlus

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title of the story is good and it links to the given prompt. You did well in arranging the sequence which creates a good flow and every scene is important in the story.
The elements that I mostly liked are the plot and the climax which is found in the ending part of the story, where it allows the reader to decide who did the killing.
The language that was used is for everybody which is why an ESL (English Second Language) like me will understand it.
Overall, I enjoyed reading the story.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I didn't find words to distract the flow and no doubt arise.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Amethyst Angel 🍀

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The story is good and you did well in hooking your reader at the beginning part of the story, maybe by introducing the misery or the possible conflict of the main character and how that problem will be solved at the end,

The story flows smoothly and fluently and it enhances different emotions that create sympathy from the reader to the main character.
All the characters were introduced well by showing and letting the reader be in their shoes by expressing what they think and feel.


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have some few doubts for you to consider, I marked them in red, and in green are suggestions.

what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here… it has the power to cure all diseases,
what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here… it has the power to cure all diseases,

My dear brother, what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here
My dear brother, what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Wordsmith John

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good and you did well in linking it to the contest prompt.
The sequence of the story is in an orderly manner and every scene is needed to make the story good.
The language that was used is for everybody means even an ESL(English second language) like me would understand it.
The chosen plot is linked in the given prompt and states there what the quote from Oscar Wilde means.
Well done!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider
I marked them in red and my suggestions are in green color. Thank you.

"Hey, I knew a Wally. Funny guy
"Hey, I know a Wally. Funny guy

I am a third year."
I am in my third year."

Other than that I already have no doubts.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Happy to write

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The given title is intriguing and linked to the given prompt of the story just like the created body.
It's in narrative style and you did well in showing about the life of a troll and how they Express their selves to others.
I only know now that trolls are never to be trusted, I believe you did great research on them.

You did well in making the story interesting, though it's just simple and light but the sequence and the flow are good and the language that was used can reach everyone.
Well done!


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

Here are some of my doubts:

The given title it's in the Interrogative style, so you should add a question mark at the end.

I have also doubts about the part of the dialogue, there are only a few.
Dialogue is one of the important parts of a story, it makes the story lively and can moderate the dullness.

Here are some of the few sentences that I also have doubts,
I marked them in red color and green are my suggestions.

However that all change one day in late July when a weird truck with slime covering it and large amounts of thick black smoke coming out of it's tail pipe pulled up

However that all changed one day in late July when a weird truck with slime covering it and large amounts of thick black smoke coming out of it's tail pipe pulled up

This would be a shock because trolls never shared they just take
This would be a shock because trolls never share they just take

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Beholden

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good and the created words give good
imagery to the reader. Sometimes good imagery especially if it touches the reader's heart through their experience, visions, dreams, likes, and inspiration can stimulate their emotions to like and love as well as be hooked on the given title of a piece.

You did well in hooking your reader about the mysterious lights that come in the wood and at the end of the story they are wolves.
The proper using and choosing of words and blending them can create vivid imagery and evoke emotions. This will enable the reader to be a part of the story.
The crafted words are good for me, they create vivid imagery.

Great Work! Good luck!
MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have a few thoughts for you to consider, I colored them with red and my suggestion is in green.


Jim realised that they looked like eyes,
Jim realized that they looked like eyes,


Could it be the Werwolf?
Could it be the Werewolf?

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!