Hi, Sumojo

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The story is good and the title is enticing, it creates a mystery, so my impression can be an interesting story,
It talks about childhood friendship and the memories behind it.
Each scene has its importance in the story to enhance the emotion.
The climax is when they already reveal each character and I enjoyed reading it.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have a few doubts for you to consider, I marked them in red, and green is my suggestion. Thank you.

Jake yells so to be heard above the thunder of galloping hooves and gunfire. “Oh no! The good guy’s been shot!”
Jake yells to be heard above the thunder of galloping hooves and gunfire. “Oh no! The good guy’s been shot!”

where the cowboy in the white hat attempts to halt his horse seconds before they both plummet over the edge a steep cliff overlooking raging waters.
where the cowboy in the white hat attempts to halt his horse seconds before they both plummet over the edge of a steep cliff overlooking raging waters.

there came a time in their lives they found themselves separated, living in different cities for the first time
there came a time in their lives when they found themselves separated, living in different cities for the first time


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, 👼intueyLet Your Light Shine

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The given title reminds me of a movie about vampires, so my first impression is this can be a vampire and horror story.
The created body flows smoothly and the sequence is orderly and arranged properly, every scene is important to enhance the beauty of the story.

This is in the narrative style, and I missed the dialogue element.

Dialogue is the exchange of spoken words between two or more characters in a book, play, or other written work, in which it makes the story lively like watching television.

Over all the story is good and I enjoyed reading it.


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

Just like I had said, I only have doubts about the use of dialogue.
I suggest that it is more lively and realistic if we add the dialogue form.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, PureSciFiPlus

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title of the story is good and it links to the given prompt. You did well in arranging the sequence which creates a good flow and every scene is important in the story.
The elements that I mostly liked are the plot and the climax which is found in the ending part of the story, where it allows the reader to decide who did the killing.
The language that was used is for everybody which is why an ESL (English Second Language) like me will understand it.
Overall, I enjoyed reading the story.

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I didn't find words to distract the flow and no doubt arise.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Amethyst Snow Angel

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The story is good and you did well in hooking your reader at the beginning part of the story, maybe by introducing the misery or the possible conflict of the main character and how that problem will be solved at the end,

The story flows smoothly and fluently and it enhances different emotions that create sympathy from the reader to the main character.
All the characters were introduced well by showing and letting the reader be in their shoes by expressing what they think and feel.


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have some few doubts for you to consider, I marked them in red, and in green are suggestions.

what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here… it has the power to cure all diseases,
what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here… it has the power to cure all diseases,

My dear brother, what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here
My dear brother, what if I told you about a miraculous spring of healing water which lies many miles away from here


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Jolly Jingle Jtpete

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good and you did well in linking it to the contest prompt.
The sequence of the story is in an orderly manner and every scene is needed to make the story good.
The language that was used is for everybody means even an ESL(English second language) like me would understand it.
The chosen plot is linked in the given prompt and states there what the quote from Oscar Wilde means.
Well done!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider
I marked them in red and my suggestions are in green color. Thank you.

"Hey, I knew a Wally. Funny guy
"Hey, I know a Wally. Funny guy

I am a third year."
I am in my third year."

Other than that I already have no doubts.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Happy to write

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest  (ASR) Use the quote provided to write a story and win big prizes! #1207944 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:
The given title is intriguing and linked to the given prompt of the story just like the created body.
It's in narrative style and you did well in showing about the life of a troll and how they Express their selves to others.
I only know now that trolls are never to be trusted, I believe you did great research on them.

You did well in making the story interesting, though it's just simple and light but the sequence and the flow are good and the language that was used can reach everyone.
Well done!


MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

Here are some of my doubts:

The given title it's in the Interrogative style, so you should add a question mark at the end.

I have also doubts about the part of the dialogue, there are only a few.
Dialogue is one of the important parts of a story, it makes the story lively and can moderate the dullness.

Here are some of the few sentences that I also have doubts,
I marked them in red color and green are my suggestions.

However that all change one day in late July when a weird truck with slime covering it and large amounts of thick black smoke coming out of it's tail pipe pulled up

However that all changed one day in late July when a weird truck with slime covering it and large amounts of thick black smoke coming out of it's tail pipe pulled up

This would be a shock because trolls never shared they just take
This would be a shock because trolls never share they just take

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Beholden

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review in your entry.
Thanks for entering in the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good and the created words give good
imagery to the reader. Sometimes good imagery especially if it touches the reader's heart through their experience, visions, dreams, likes, and inspiration can stimulate their emotions to like and love as well as be hooked on the given title of a piece.

You did well in hooking your reader about the mysterious lights that come in the wood and at the end of the story they are wolves.
The proper using and choosing of words and blending them can create vivid imagery and evoke emotions. This will enable the reader to be a part of the story.
The crafted words are good for me, they create vivid imagery.

Great Work! Good luck!
MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have a few thoughts for you to consider, I colored them with red and my suggestion is in green.


Jim realised that they looked like eyes,
Jim realized that they looked like eyes,


Could it be the Werwolf?
Could it be the Werewolf?

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Kåre เลียม Enga

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The given title gives an impression to be magical, folktales as well as mystery and ancient.
The created body is good even if it's short it links to the given title and to the prompt of the contest,
in where it flows smoothly and vividly and creates a good imagery.
You did well also in personifying the glass and develop its character through reflecting his feelings, grief and thought.

Great Work! Goodluck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and green is my suggestion.

Fireflies aglow?
are Fireflies aglow?

This is where she had died.
This is where she died.

We soon saw their fear mirrored by our face. I winked out; but..
We soon saw their fear mirrored by our faces. I winked out; but..

were chatty and spoke of other lives as branch and twig.
were chatty and spoke of other lives as branches and twigs.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, LightinMind

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The title of the story gives me the impression of a memoir or remembrance because it is the header of a letter.
The created body is in the first point of view and you did well in expressing the emotions smoothly and gradually on the first part or beginning part you hooked the reader about the simple biography of the main characters.

The story flows smoothly and in the middle part, it stirs emotions like concern and sympathy.
There is only one character with sub characters mentioned in the letter, and you did well in developing and introducing it, through the way the character acts and think through is biograpjy letter in the story.

Great Work! Goodluck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have some few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and my suggestion is in green.

their phony compassion and nosey concern did for me was train me how to fake it with
their phony compassion and nosey concern did for me was trained me how to fake it with

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, PureSciFi

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is good, mystery, horror, and adventurous, it gives me an impression of being in another place and another era of time.
You did well in hooking me at the beginning and gradually created a mystery in the middle part and a good conclusion and solution at the ending part.

The characters were properly developed and introduce in the dialogue part which reflects there each one personality that makes the story more interesting.

The sequencing of the scene was related to each other and created a breathtaking or suspense experience.

Great Work! Goodluck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and green are my suggestions.

It was hard to see it because their oblong oval mouth didn’t move.
It was hard to see it because their oblong oval mouths didn’t move.


The whole residence was feeling the Extreme Hot become that DeathBringer was running around that residence wildly.
The whole residence was feeling the extremely hot become that DeathBringer was running around that residence wildly.

Only now she did it with three Young One who were surrounding her
Only now she did it with three Young Ones who were surrounding her


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Happy to write

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspectives also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is simple but you did well in capturing the essence of Christmas with a link to the given prompt of the contest.
It straight to the point flows smoothly and creates good imagery, which reflects good emotions during the best and happiest day of the year,
where we always won't forget it.
There is also a magical aura in which it links to the given prompt.

Great Story! Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:
I have some few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and green is my suggestion.

This is about the day I learned that we aren't alone and there's more to life then what is seen.
This is about the day I learned that we aren't alone and there's more to life than what is seen.

When i heard a small sound like a tiny choir raising
When i heard a small sound like a tiny choir raising


All the stars started to move just a little at first then alot spelling out Merry Christmas is what they wrote.
All the stars started to move just a little at first then a lot spelling out Merry Christmas is what they wrote.

I look closer rubbing my eyes and this little small star was moving very fast towards me.
I looked closer rubbing my eyes and this little star was moving very fast towards me.

Hello, it say and yeah you aren't alone here on earth we are real;
Hello, it says and yeah you aren't alone here on earth we are real;

She explained to me that she liked some of the activities surrounded around our Christmas holiday
She explained to me that she liked some of the activities surrounding our Christmas holiday


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!

Hi, Beck Firing back up!

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

The story is a mystery and full of adventure which is linked to the given prompt of the contest inwhere it reflected a magical moment with those snowflakes on a dim night.

You did well in showing it through your words as well as the proper sequence of the story is in order which flows smoothly and not in force but naturally.
The characters were developed well their personality in the dialogue scene and the way they act.

And I liked the ending part, we have the free will to choose our path.
W can choose our path if that is what makes us happy.

Great Work! Good luck!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have some few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and in green are my suggestions.
The snow had picked up and the woods seemed ominous on this night.


Jenna thought back to the snowflakes that light up with a brilliant light.
Jenna thought back to the snowflakes that lit up with a brilliant light.

“Designed? I am not understanding.”
“Designed? I do not understand.”


Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!



Just keep On smiling while staying in WRITING!

Hi, Amethyst Snow Angel

Greetings! I'm Samberine Everose and one of the judges in the

SURVEY

Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR) Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes! #1221635 by Writing.Com Support

and I'm here to give you a review of your entry.
Thanks for entering the contest.


Please note that I am not a professional reviewer, anything I say here is just my humble own opinion and views, don't forget that this will be changed by others' perspective also. Take it if you like and drop it if you don't like it.

MY THOUGHT & IMPRESSION:

This is so beautiful story and you did well in showing it.
It flows smoothly from the beginning hooking me to wonder about the little girl and the homeless man and I am not expecting in the end that they were related to each other-father and his long-lost daughter.

I can relate to this, and I liked the emotions that were stirred at the ending part, you did well in arranging the scene and the parts of the story to be in order.
You did well also to reflect the prompt to be especial and momentous.

This reminds me that God shows His love wonderfully, especially to simple things and through little children, those who are weak and helpless.

Good job!

MY DOUBT & SUGGESTION:

I have a few doubts for you to consider, I colored them in red and my suggestion is green.


patch of woodsy brush the city called a park.
patch of woodsy brush in the city called a park.


"That's too bad," Alice looked me over. "
That's too bad," Alice looked at me over. "


She spoke with such simple confidence, I didn't have the heart to argue.
She spoke with such simple confidence, that I didn't have the heart to argue.


Maybe it was time to man up, get my life together.
Maybe it was time to man up, and get my life together.

Thank you for your participation in the contest.
I hope to see and read more of your works again!

Just keep On smiling while stay in WRITING!