Another shrinking interactive that is mainly a series of choices deciding what characters or situations are going to be involved, rather than any decisive story vision.
My advice to the author would be to avoid trying to please everyone with this 'choose whatever you want' approach; those sorts of interactives are fifty a penny here. Instead, write what YOU want to write, and allow others to build upon that. A strong start produces stronger development.
A little work to rearrange the composition maybe - have the name meanings explained in the order they're presented, for example - and this could be something. As it is, its ambition is thwarted by a so ewhat clunky layout. Promising, but needs a second draft to really capture the magic.
Besides the obvious rhyming scheme, this piece really goes full bore into the 'poetic style', right down to shortening "until" to "'till" (sic). In this way, the style overwhelms the content, with the mechanics of the writing overshadowing what the writing is about.
A poem's poem, trying desperately to capture the 'feel' of a poem, right down to throwing a "t'was" in there for added authenticity. If the poet merely used language they found more natural to themselves, I would feel that the quality would vastly improve.
A touching tribute to a loved relative, where the emotions at play leap off the screen, raw and considered in equal measure. Each stanza moves on from the one preceding it, while also building upon and deepening the established image. Truly beautiful.
A charming love letter to the concept of bedtime songs for children, laid out in the manner of one. The harsh constraints of the rhyme scheme prevent it from excelling however, and one should definitely have a practice run or two before attempting to read it to your own young ones!
This reads as an outline for a story, an author's musings, rather than a finished piece in itself. Tenses twist and alter, and sentences run on where they should have ceased. Perfectly fine for a stream of consciousness, but a few drafts to hammer out the specifics might make this something to look for.
The meaning is clear here: a melancholy-yet-hopeful reflection on past mistakes and a better future. Unfortunately, I find the rhyme scheme detracts from its impact. It drives the pace onwards too quickly, and 'sounds' more like a rap than a sober meditation.
Rhyming every line may be a step too far, robbing the poem of some of its impact by encouraging a sing-song style of recitation. Given that the lines are relatively long, splitting each in half to allow for an 'every other' rhyming scheme should help the mood.
A shrinking/growth story which sets out its MacGuffin nice and early, does not waste time on pointless chapters with nothing but choices and isn't entirely obsessed with sex.
An author's first foray into the genre, you can see some of the first glimmers of their future inventiveness on display. Overall, the story here does meander somewhat, without much in the way of drama, but there is a solid attempt at character work.
Dead YouTube links embedded within the text is always a no-no, though. :P
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