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100 Public Reviews Given
122 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Very fanciful language, giving the poem an air of pretentiousness.
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2
Review of Tar Pit  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Not the most uplifting of poems, so don't read if you're looking for a happy piece!
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3
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
A bit short; a few morte lines would be nice!
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4
Review of My Secret Name  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
A little work to rearrange the composition maybe - have the name meanings explained in the order they're presented, for example - and this could be something. As it is, its ambition is thwarted by a so ewhat clunky layout. Promising, but needs a second draft to really capture the magic.
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5
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Intriguing; more the set-up for a story than a fully-realised piece. An expansion would be very welcome.
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Review of Burning Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
Besides the obvious rhyming scheme, this piece really goes full bore into the 'poetic style', right down to shortening "until" to "'till" (sic). In this way, the style overwhelms the content, with the mechanics of the writing overshadowing what the writing is about.
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Review of An Empty Nest  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
A poem's poem, trying desperately to capture the 'feel' of a poem, right down to throwing a "t'was" in there for added authenticity. If the poet merely used language they found more natural to themselves, I would feel that the quality would vastly improve.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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8
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Part 7 of a tribute/homage story. If you've read along thus far, continue to do so, if not, start at part one!
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Review of In the Barrio  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
A limerick. The final line doesn't quite fit the patter pattern, but other than that, it's fine.
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Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
A tale of school life. If you can get past the font, it's not a bad read at all.
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Review of What they know  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Short, and to the point.
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12
Review of Dreamy Clouds  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
A very interesting and bizarre little piece, that it's quite impossible to describe. It has to be read!
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Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You want an example of a metaphor displayed and executed well, you look to this poem. The author remains consistent in the comparison all the way through, never once being diverted from the purity of their intent. Personally, the one flaw is that it's too long, but that is very much a personal gripe and no slight on this great work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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14
Review of Daddy  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A touching tribute to a loved relative, where the emotions at play leap off the screen, raw and considered in equal measure. Each stanza moves on from the one preceding it, while also building upon and deepening the established image. Truly beautiful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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15
Review of The Magic Needle  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
A charming love letter to the concept of bedtime songs for children, laid out in the manner of one. The harsh constraints of the rhyme scheme prevent it from excelling however, and one should definitely have a practice run or two before attempting to read it to your own young ones!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Fairies  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Well, it forms a nice shape.
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Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
This reads as an outline for a story, an author's musings, rather than a finished piece in itself. Tenses twist and alter, and sentences run on where they should have ceased. Perfectly fine for a stream of consciousness, but a few drafts to hammer out the specifics might make this something to look for.
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Review of Tainted Fear  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Quite a confusing jumble of language, using very esoteric words to baffle and ystify in equal measure.
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Review of COLORS OF FALL  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Touching. A little touch up of grammar aside, this is simple and nice.
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20
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
More of a personal thought exercise than a piece of fiction to be read by anyone other than the author.
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21
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Some of these rhymes seem to be really stretching just to fit, and the poem does not require them.
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Review of Almost Doomed  Open in new Window.
Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
The meaning is clear here: a melancholy-yet-hopeful reflection on past mistakes and a better future. Unfortunately, I find the rhyme scheme detracts from its impact. It drives the pace onwards too quickly, and 'sounds' more like a rap than a sober meditation.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Rhyming every line may be a step too far, robbing the poem of some of its impact by encouraging a sing-song style of recitation. Given that the lines are relatively long, splitting each in half to allow for an 'every other' rhyming scheme should help the mood.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
A bit too short.
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Review by Doom Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A shrinking/growth story which sets out its MacGuffin nice and early, does not waste time on pointless chapters with nothing but choices and isn't entirely obsessed with sex.

Not bad!
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