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Review of Oh Music Oh Music  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Schnujo's Doing Homework Author IconMail Icon

The meaning and the making of music is briefly, yet beautifully explained in this contest entry. Congratulations on a deserving Awardicon decorating this poem.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations on ushering in another creative year at the WDC.*CakeB*

Have a lovely day!

This poem is a winner on several counts.

Imagery-

The very basis of this poem is a well explored device of imagery.
You showed how the teacher explains the subject of music to a group of kids. I can see them paying you an attentive ear. Great preamble to a class on music.

Every single vital element of music is given its due place of vital importance.

"And then there dynamics
How soft or how LOUD"
A great point.

Refrain-
Another winning point is the way you used the refrain to bring our attention back to the basics that music is a source of beauty and joy.

"Oh music oh music
You bring joy to the world"



This is the kind of lesson meant for all, not just kids.

Although there is a lot more to write about, I suppose I too should
"stop now
Before you think I'm a bore."

It flows rhythmically with appeal.

Write on!
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602
602
Review of Rise Up  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Thomas,

your poem on death and loss as presented from the point of view of the dead is appealing and hopeful.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.

Congratulations!*CakeP*

Have a nice day.

This rhyming verse assures me that there is nothing fearful about death and that we should let in a feeling of freedom into our spirit at the final hour.

"Our spirits long ago have soared
We are free to go home"

No amount of mourning and sadness will bring back the departed soul. It is true as observed by all of us. Yet we feel extremely sad and in many cases, heartbroken, when someone close is no more.

It is energizing to read.
"Now we live through you
Fear not death, for it is just the beginning"

It flows well, ringing in hope.

Imagery is visual and appeals to my mind and heart.

Write on!
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603
603
Review of Life's too short  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there,

facts and fears that we entertain in this short life are well aired here. It is so true that we do worry over small things and forget to leave it to God.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.

This rhyming poem sounds soothing and makes me see we do worry too much about tomorrow while the present is wasted. You are so right about other things like a missing phone or bills to clear.
I think we can attend to these existential needs without anxiety.
What we cannot repair like broken vase should be left alone. No use crying over spilt milk.

Rhyming appeals to me. So does the content of this poem.

It flows well.

Write on!
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604
604
Review of As We Once Were  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Warrick,

that’s a pretty interesting incident of a two-way love, between you and the BMW, and you and wife.
Sometimes, the so called inanimate objects gain more affection than human beings.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!

Have a wonderful day!

In my own experience, I have noticed this perennial rivalry between the wife and the car. For some mysterious, inexplicable reason, a man refers to his four-wheeler as “she”.

I admire your everlasting love for the car that you bought after love at first sight and stuck to it despite the “fall”. First love is the best like first impressions, I suppose.

I am sure your wife has compromised on this rather serious bond between hubby and the car. Good for her to be resigned about this affair.

Loved the humour, the philosophy and the play of psychology through the story.

Language and style are winsome.

Write on!
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605
605
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there!

I am a bit fascinated with sports like parasailing. It gives one the feeling of floating in the air and overseeing the world from the whispering clouds.

Dreaming of parasailing in adorable company of your grand daughter has its advantages. First and foremost, you have someone to fall back upon if a situation demands.

Dreaming of something you know you will never attempt, gives your wings of imagination more power and as I can see create convincing pieces of writing.

I have thoroughly enjoyed parasailing with you.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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606
606
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Vicki Lynne,

I couldn't hold back from writing this review on your inspiring thoughts so well put in this article.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day.

Comparing your hard working self to a strong willow tree is apt and awesome. On the physical side, the willow looks so delicate and yes, crooked too. Yet, I saw them surviving storms and such. I just came to know that it needs a lot of water.

You thoughts are quite novel, when you say that a person who goes through trials and tribulations in life, like you for instance, is like a willow. In turn all the sadness and depression are turned to being helpful to others by offering timely advice and inspiration to find new hopes.

The analogy is perfect and I am happy I found this note on how to stand strong in the face of sudden shocks and life threatening tragedy.

I love your style of writing and the way you have brought in transformations from one para to the next.

Write on!
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607
607
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Elizabeth,

the spiritual experience you have gone through appears rare and unique.
It shows how happy you are with the Divine Mother and that you find her as a soul companion and guardian.

Dancing with her in a kind of emotional and spiritual high can only be experienced. It is beyond anyone's ken.

Finding freedom via religious fervor is so very special. Nothing in the world is comparable to that freedom.
"I am free
and I am whole"

I can believe you.

The rhythm is felt through the poem as I read it.
Imagery is otherworldly.

It flows well.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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608
608
Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
for entry "SunsetOpen in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Angelica,
this review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day.

This short poem sounds sweet with the images of night sky and the twinkling stars.
“Twinkling stars appeared
Shining brightly”

It is a glorious experience to watch stars at night shining like little gems on a clear sky and wonder about what lies behind them.
Eternal stars and eternal nights! Glory to the Creator!

Write on!
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609
609
Review of Shoes Are Fun  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sandra,

I am reviewing this delightful children's poem for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day.

Writing from a child's point of view has nicely suited the content. Children keep trying shoes of different people as I noticed. Here's Charlie trying on every single family member's shoes and enjoying their feel and sound.

Onomatopoeia has done justice to the different sounds and their effectively matching words.

"Shoes are fun. I run, scamper, skip.
Spin, spin super fast. Flap, flop, flip."

This takes a lot of observation, thought and imagination.

Rhyming verse flows well with visual and aural imagery.

Write on!
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610
610
Review of Temperance  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem appeals to me because it expresses and tries to inculcate a sense of living well on physical and moral levels.

As you have so well said in the last stanza, good living is a matter of choice.
And that person should of need, make right choices.

Of all the avoidable things, temptation takes the top place. With it exit several other evils.

So tell me sir, how would I resist being tempted?

These principles are of capital value and importance to every member of any cultured society.

It flows well.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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611
611
Review of Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sarah,

Your love of dreams drew me to this poem.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a great day.

Dreaming in the morning comes through this poem with clarity.
The time between predawn and dawn makes it look surreal like an ephemera, liking a passing shadow.
Your description of the disturbed dream shows your reluctance to come out of it, yet surrender to life's demands.

So you wait till night falls when you can slip back into favorite world of dreams.

Nicely written with well chosen words and with a great flow.

Write on!
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612
612
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Terry,

Christmas memories are well shown through this nicely written story.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day.

I notice that among other visits during the festive season, you also visited nursing homes. I am impressed by this. Those elderly helpless individuals need Christmas cheer brought to them. I appreciate your effort in cheering as many people as you could. I am sure you are a cheerleader par excellence.

"We would visit at least one nursing home. Some times we could get to a couple of them."
Just great!

Your prose style is a pleasure to go through and the feelings expressed in here are so spontaneous.

Thank you for sharing.

Write on!
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613
613
Review of Love is so Fine  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sharmelle,

I came across this love poem in your well organized port. This poem speaks to me from the point of view of not only someone who knows how to love but also someone who loves wisely.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing a wonderful creative year at the WDC. Have a lovely day!

It is so true that love is full of sweet pain. But you grin and bear the pain and continue to love. As the Bard has wisely put, " love is not love that alters..."

Your mention of Dove is interesting. You have separated love from dove and shown the difference quite convincingly. Meaning, keep religious feelings and love separate.

Rhyme and rhythm go hand in hand.
It flows fine.

Write on!
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614
614
Review of Memories Past  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

I know what it feels like letting them go. In a way, it's not us letting them go, but time decides to do that.
Your refrain, "My sons/ My sons" indicates the degree of pain you have undergone, and the intensity of attachment to them. It was the same with our parents I am sure.
None escapes the pleasure and pain of these unions and departures.

Memories and the attendant emotions are very clearly recalled.
"Friends and buddies
My sons and I"

More the affinity, more the attachment and more the lonely one becomes.
I also realized that there is no end to longing to have the past back but...unless one decides to get a grip on it.

I enjoyed the meaningful pauses and silence.

Have a wonderful WDC Anniversary!

Write on!
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615
615
Review of Green  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
A very tough situation to be in. Yet, you took it well instead if bursting into tears or into a fit of maddening fury.

You showed a different variety of kids. The title is on spot.
Her character came through very well. Quite obtuse.
‘“…sick, cold-blooded…”

You realized her crazy ways after a harrowing experience.

Narration, dialog and description are done meticulously.

Write on!
kids at play


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616
616
Review of Lonely Boughs  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Imagery is the best part of this poem written in free form.

I am Jaya, reviewing this sentimental verse for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day!

My guess is that you were bidding goodbye to your classmates at the end of the year. If that is so, your feelings are similar to mine and several others, I am sure.

“ once upon a careless teenage summer”

It could be harder than I imagine!

They go back to their places carrying carefully stored memories.
Yet, saying goodbye could be hard. It leaves a cypher in one’s heart no doubt. That’s life.

Excellent use of images from nature to show the persistent loneliness.

“as a palm outward extends and waves goodbye
and leaves only the lonely boughs behind.”

Alliteration enhances the loneliness expressed.”

I love this nicely flowing poem.

Write on!
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617
617
Review of A Union of Two  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Aptly said.
A poem about natural and inherent love. Though two halves, they are in fact a whole. One cannot exist without the other.

The way you have shown the oneness of being in love is consistent and convincing and weathers no opposition. A well made point.
"We, together, are a union of Two"

That two people in love become one is everybody's knowledge.

The special point here is to treat an old theme in a novel way.
"We, together, hold the certainty
Of Love Everlasting"

The value and meaning of togetherness is shown very well. It causes me to think about the ways and means of loving sincerely and devotedly.

It flows well with visual imagery and it offers a lot to ponder.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!
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618
618
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I like the way you translated something damaging as rain leak into a precious painting into an artistic manifestation.
That definitely explains the advantage of a positive outlook.

Points to ponder-
The weather in London and the condition of roads.
"The large droplets of water crashed against Martin’s raincoat as he skipped from puddle to puddle."
A tough walk to the art gallery.

The reckless way of handling something exclusive.
".... inevitably, had a gaping hole in the front of it."
I wonder why "inevitably".

I do admire Martin's cool-headed attitude.

A nice read.

Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary!

Write on!
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619
619
Review of I'm Free  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Lori,

this is a touching poem. The poet's thoughts are profound and meaningful.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day.

All the feelings she expressed show the kind of loving person she was. Her intent in writing this verse too is so impressive. She knew how much she would be missed, yet she didn't want to be chained.

"Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief"

I admire her fearless nature in the face of death. She obviously took it as a way of God. There's so much to learn from her regarding life, happiness and the ultimate death.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful rhyming poem.

It flows well.

Write on!

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620
620
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Elle,

this pleasantly rhyming verse is enough evidence of your poetic talent.
My review for this calming read is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day!

You traced the Sun’s journey in quite an appealing way. I get to go over hills, dales, fields and rocky shores and much more. The thrill and joy you offer are priceless and precious.

Rhyme and rhythm of this poem are equally excellent.
I commend the fine word choices, and the concise and controlled content.

A fine poem with sensory imagery, it is one of a kind.

It flows well.

Write on!
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621
621
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Sharon,
this is a moving story, I appreciate a lot.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day!

You have shown in the first part of the story, how to understand horse and maneuver him while riding.
Not an easy job by any means except with patience and love.

Bonding with a horse paid off in saving him towards the end.
The power of prayer is shown clearly.

Your flowing prose style and smooth transformations are winsome.

Thank you for sharing talent.

Write on!
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622
622
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello peterelbe

I have enjoyed reading through this descriptive peace.
My little review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day!

Your day at the lake has taken you down the memory lane. Your are looking at the past in a new light. By far it helps you understand the way you perceive the present.
For example the pebble throwing incident, which no longer interest you as it used to be. You also added a personal angle to it, with which I wholeheartedly agree.
"Besides he did not like pelting the stream. Over the years it had become like a special friend.."

Nature is at her best if no one disturbs her calm.

The story ended quite naturally. As he dozed lulled by the murmuring stream and the birds around.

Very picturesque!

Write on!
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623
623
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jenny,

Funny little poem!
Thoroughly enjoyable.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a wonderful day!

Halloween atmosphere is created very well in this nicely flowing verse. You brought in the horror element with the witch’s potion stirring in the cauldron, zombies, ghouls, goblins and the ghosts.

Words are used economy conveying exactly what is needed

I find it specially interesting that flying witch wishes the world, a happy halloween.

Imagery appeals to senses.

Write on!
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624
624
Review of Coffee  Open in new Window.
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Christine,

this highly personalized description of coffee got me to the quick. Everything about that mug of coffee at that special moment attains a meaning and local habitation.

My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day!

The beauty of this piece is that you have taught me how to make an alluring mug of coffee, mixing my motive and desire for it.
You have used all the senses for the benefit of describing the ultimate taste of coffee. Ah, how heavenly it tastes!

Imagery is sensory and appeals to me from the beginning till you have the steaming brew in your hands.

Interesting!

Write on!
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625
625
Review by jaya Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jill,

You are right about memories that go on endlessly even while attending to household duties.

My review is for your Wdc Account Anniversary.
Congratulations!
Have a lovely day!

The treasure box of memories is treated with fondness and clarity.
Each occasion that made an exclusive memory is described with ease for the benefit of the reader.

The focus on personal characteristics, like why you are called an “eccentric” is enjoyable,

I appreciate your style and particularly the imagery you have used.

Thank you for sharing.

Write on!
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